Time for a new one y'all!

Dear T,

Why don't you ask more questions about my life? It feels weird to come in and just spew my problems without getting more interaction from you. I need some give and take.

Sizzling

[LindaLu]

I've written down things you need to know -- as a professional -- about how you behaved. And I have questions for you. That assumes I decide to see you again to confront you about your behavior.

You kissed up for months and months about the "relationship" we were building. All pal-sy wal-sy. You don't get to suddenly pull the "authority" card on me after fostering such attachment.

You don't deserve the last word by shaming me. I will not be a victim again. Not at 1000s of dollars out of pocket, more than two mortgages I paid you each month.

You should be ashamed of yourself. If you are reading my posts, give this serious thought. Your Buddhist posturing about compassion needs some self examination.

[Ambra]

I wish I could just get over you. Or forget you..

[Chummy]

Dear Pdoc

I looked on your Facebook and saw you had a new ''friend''. I wonder how you know those people. I wonder how you know the women on your friends list. And I wonder if clients ever send a friends request and how you react to that. I wonder if your are ''friend's'' on Facebook with some of your (former) clients. I will never know. I would never have the guts to send you a request. Too afraid to get rejected. I shouldn't look at your Facebook anymore.

Soon will be the last time I'll see you. I don't want to quit seeing you. It almost makes me want to lie about the medication. But I shouldn't do that. That wouldn't be good for me. It would only postpone the inevitable.

[bterrier]

Dear ex-T

Please don't lie to me. You said to email you weekly just to check in. You said we would keep in touch. Well I emailed you on Thursday but it wasn't you that responded it was a friend of yours. Please I hope you didn't lie to me- telling me what you thought I needed to hear at the time. I'm counting on your words and your honor. If you lied than you're not a very good woman much less a good Chritian like you portray yourself to be. Don't make me hate you. I will try one more time then if the same thing happens I don't know what I will do. I'm a lot leary of you know. Don't know if I can trust you. I had a hard week and miss you so much. I'm not asking for a friendship I just want to stay in touch so I can go back to you when you start up again. Don't know what to do.

[Leah123]

Dear T. It's Sunday. My emotions don't understand why the arbitrary divide between times to reach out and times not to. If I needed you, I could write and you would reply. A lovely thing I may take for granted. But I don't need you, of course, just want to be in touch. I don't like scheduled therapy, I liked our flex-time sessions best, of course... they cost me four times as much. This is me balancing my wants and needs, sigh.... a balanced budget and a break, for both of us, from the heavy processing that seems to be my primary mode of doing therapy. The Jillian Michaels school of mental workouts. Ha. Sigh.

[junkDNA]

T
you went away again for a little bit and now i feel weird about seeing you

me

[Coco3]

I bet you would be very proud of me if you knew how I coped these past months. I know I am.

[Kat605]

Hey Mr. J
For future reference don't do therapy and be the clinical director of a facility with over three hundred residents/ supervising all the mental health staff ETC at the same time as seeing clients! Realize how your absentmindness isn't cute or just nothing but does affect people. I wish you'd remember the connection you said we'd always have, that we'd be friends even if we weren't therapist and client (you said that the first time we met not me,) and all the work we put into geting me to a good place. Just because I'm not an "emergency" or liability to the facility anymore because of my self injury issues suddenly it's not important to even know how I'm doing or meet or anything. Oh and also it's probably not a good idea to play computer techy and be clinical director at the same time as well, the computer is mad too since you installed totally the wrong audio driver it hates you!
Dear M (was gonna be new t)
Sorry I skipped out on you and chickened out. Thanks for understanding and writing me that awesome e-mail and saying we could try to see how things went for the session I skipped out on. You seem really nice. I'm sure you're just as good in person. Maybe one day I'll re contact you and meet you. My caseworker agrees and thinks you're awesome too! Will always keep your e-mails.

[Raging Quiet]

You didn't wish me a happy birthday.. First time in 9 years.

I don't know why it's so hard for you to apologize. I mean you have gone to great lengths to avoid the truth and avoid apologizing to me like a decent man would. You're pitiful.

[BeatriceBlue]

Thank you.

Woke up thinking this was some kind of nightmare. That you didn't really betray me, that you didn't break my confidence illegally, that you didn't tell her all my personal business. But You did. You are a CRUEL MONSTER!

[Jessica Hazlitt]

You keep telling me not to say my feelings for you are creepy, that doesn't make me feel better. In fact it makes me feel worse. It makes me feel like you just don't get it. Pretty sure if I told you I've thought about you every night in bed for the last (nearly) two years, THEN you'll get it. But then I'd be worried about pushing you away. Sometimes I wish we didn't work so well together, then I could justify seeing one of your colleagues instead.

You think this is some kind of joke. Using me for your own self gratification. Using her to get your thrills. Thinking you are untouchable because you are a counselor?? Never mind who you hurt along the way as long as YOU get the pleasure YOU so desperately need. That's what it's all about isn't it??

I'm on to you.

[Daystrom]

The main reason I see you is because I like you. That's about it. I'm skeptical as hell about the entire therapy process. Quite frankly I wonder sometimes if you've been doing this long enough, if your training and experience and knowledge go far enough to really deal with what I'm bringing in there. Sometimes your expressions seem too practiced and your responses too superficial. You can only say something is "understandable" so many times before I start wondering whether you actually mean it. You're actually a few years YOUNGER than me, for crying out loud, which seems weird every time it occurs to me. I believe I'll need to hear something more soon, a more concrete plan of action.

But, I like you too much. Talking to you is cathartic, a relief. You were there for me during the darkest days of my life and you're so pretty when you smile. Right now I guess that's enough.

[Jessica Hazlitt]

You keep telling me not to say my feelings for you are creepy, that doesn't make me feel better. In fact it makes me feel worse. It makes me feel like you just don't get it. Pretty sure if I told you I've thought about you every night in bed for the last (nearly) two years, THEN you'll get it. But then I'd be worried about pushing you away. Sometimes I wish we didn't work so well together, then I could justify seeing one of your colleagues instead.

[LindaLu]

I spent too much time this AM thinking about stuff. I have a headache.

I'm going to call yet another MH provider to see if there is a slot for new patient.

This sucks.

hi t, i did that dream re-entry this morning. i learned something interesting. i talked to dream-you and asked you if there was a reason the doors need to be open, and dream-you said well let's think about that (sounding just like real-you) and you asked me "what do doors represent to you?" I thought about it and said "doors make me think about passages, like changes as in from one room to another or from inside to outside." Maybe the doors are open because I need to be open to a change of some sort? And since I'm inside the room, do I need to be open to something new coming in? And of course this would be psychologically speaking, because the room after all was a therapy space with dream-you in it. This is all so very fascinating, you know.

[LonesomeTonight]

Dear MC,
Today's session just made me love you even more (and I didn't think that was possible). But maybe in a more paternal way? It's like you're telling me stuff I needed to hear when I was a kid, like how it's OK to make mistakes and that if people care about me they'll forgive me for them. And implying that you're one of those people. I wish you could hold me in your arms like I was your little girl. I'll just have to settle for your words and the way you look into my eyes like you really see me and fully accept and maybe even love what you see.

[JaneTennison1]

Dear T

Once upon a time you would have broken my heart. Today? It's a sting that I can move on from. Hurts but not a fatal wound.

[Chummy]

Dear T and Pdoc

Will all of this be worth it? I know you can't answer this question. No one can. We can't look into the future. But I wish I could know.
I was laying on my bed staring at the ceiling and thought; what's the point of all of this. Life. It's so pointless. You are born, you are alive for some time and then you die. Why can't I choose when to die. It's my life, my choice. I really don't know what to do. I don't want anything out of life.
Though recently, I have been fantasizing about you, pdoc and about mariage with you, a life with you. I know that can't ever happen. But I can't remember when I actually fantasized about a life with someone. I think it must be when I was still a young naive teen.
But it makes me sad. I don't have a life. No good man would ever like me. I'm doomed to a life alone.

[Coco3]

I miss you very much today.

[growlycat]

Your email warmed my heart. Thanks.