Do you feel like crying after seeing T?

My sadness occurs at around the night after the appointment. It's feelings of loneliness and thinking of T only makes it worse. I suppose I miss her and I want her here for company.

What are your experiences?

[itjustis]

I find I feel more positive when I come out.
It's usually 2 or 3 days before our next appt that I feel a bit sad. But I can handle that as I know it's not long to go.
Maybe you could write your feelings down, I find that helps me. I imagine I'm telling T everything that's on my mind. I did this just last night!

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[Ellahmae]

Yup. I cry as soon as I get into my car and usually takes me about a half hour before I can recoup enough to drive myself home.

[BayBrony]

Originally Posted by Illegal Toilet

Do you feel like crying after seeing T?

My sadness occurs at around the night after the appointment. It's feelings of loneliness and thinking of T only makes it worse. I suppose I miss her and I want her here for company.

What are your experiences?

Yes sometimes its horrid and I describe it as homesickness, wanting the love and acceptance I have with her.
We have an ending ritual now and that helps and I have a few transitional objects which also help

[Soccer mom]

I had the same experience with ex-T. I would be sad for a few days and someone once described it as a "therapy hangover". My relationship with new T. is much healthier so I leave in a much better place. I'm sometimes sad the day after but it seems a more healthy longing.

[itjustis]

Originally Posted by Soccer mom

I had the same experience with ex-T. I would be sad for a few days and someone once described it as a "therapy hangover". My relationship with new T. is much healthier so I leave in a much better place. I'm sometimes sad the day after but it seems a more healthy longing.

I like the term "therapy hangover" I haven't heard that before. After particular gruelling sessions I feel exhausted, I'm now going to say I have a therapy hangover.
Just curious, you say this relationship with your T is much healthier...what made you realise it wasn't healthy with the last one? Are there particular signs to look out for?

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[Out There]

I also like the term " therapy hangover " and it can be a difficult feeling. For me its getting into the deep stuff and feelings I probably didn't access , it can be " Ugh " sometimes. I usually sit in my car for about 15 mins to regroup a little before leaving for home.

[Soccer mom]

Originally Posted by itjustis

I like the term "therapy hangover" I haven't heard that before. After particular gruelling sessions I feel exhausted, I'm now going to say I have a therapy hangover.
Just curious, you say this relationship with your T is much healthier...what made you realise it wasn't healthy with the last one? Are there particular signs to look out for?

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I had maternal transference with ex-T. I thought that I should stay and work through it. However, I had many doubts about my therapy. She was inconsistent - started off responding to texts great with emojis and such and then stopped responding, told me she cared about me with tears in her eyes and then months later told me not to ask if she did "and make her regret saying it", suggested I talk to my brother for support and then told me I shouldn't have since he's a T., never admitted she was wrong, always put it back on me and blamed most everything on my transference. I would tell her I'm scared she's going to judge me and she would say it's the transference. I would say she seems frustrated and she would say the transference. I believed her until I got out. I now understand that most of it was NOT the transference - it was her as a person. I ask lots of questions, read and don't take a T's word for it and I don't think she liked being questioned.

A good friend of mine told me one time in response to me crying that she always leaves her therapist's office feeling better. That was a wake up call because that was rare for me. I now think due to my abandonment issues, all these little things were small abandonments that left me feeling insecure and needy. I am not like that AT ALL in my "real life" relationships so this felt so strange.

I think you should overall feel cared for and supported and leave your sessions feeling the same or a little better, not worse. And, if you feel worse it's not due to the actions of your therapist.

[Cinnamon_Stick]

Originally Posted by Illegal Toilet

Do you feel like crying after seeing T?

My sadness occurs at around the night after the appointment. It's feelings of loneliness and thinking of T only makes it worse. I suppose I miss her and I want her here for company.

What are your experiences?

Yes this happens. I leave my sessions feeling happy and empowered, like I can take on the world. The night after my session I am overcome with sadness and cry because I miss her and how safe, loved, important and cared about I feel with her. I have recordings and a transitional object that helps. I only cry for 10 minutes now instead of much longer and I feel better listening to her voice.

[itjustis]

Originally Posted by Soccer mom

I had maternal transference with ex-T. I thought that I should stay and work through it. However, I had many doubts about my therapy. She was inconsistent - started off responding to texts great with emojis and such and then stopped responding, told me she cared about me with tears in her eyes and then months later told me not to ask if she did "and make her regret saying it", suggested I talk to my brother for support and then told me I shouldn't have since he's a T., never admitted she was wrong, always put it back on me and blamed most everything on my transference. I would tell her I'm scared she's going to judge me and she would say it's the transference. I would say she seems frustrated and she would say the transference. I believed her until I got out. I now understand that most of it was NOT the transference - it was her as a person. I ask lots of questions, read and don't take a T's word for it and I don't think she liked being questioned.


A good friend of mine told me one time in response to me crying that she always leaves her therapist's office feeling better. That was a wake up call because that was rare for me. I now think due to my abandonment issues, all these little things were small abandonments that left me feeling insecure and needy. I am not like that AT ALL in my "real life" relationships so this felt so strange.


I think you should overall feel cared for and supported and leave your sessions feeling the same or a little better, not worse. And, if you feel worse it's not due to the actions of your therapist.

Oh wow, sounds like you went through a really rough time with the previous T. I'm sorry you had to go through that.
Maybe she had some transference issues of her own that she couldn't get past?
I'm really lucky to have a T that is kind, caring and supportive and willing to discuss my maternal transference and any questions I have. She has talked about her transference too which I appreciate.
I had a T a few years ago who I couldn't connect with at all...this T however, I connected with straight away and that's important to me.


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[Chummy]

Yes. I used to feel better and positive after a session, but for a long time now I've been feeling low when I've been to session.
It's a combination of my depression, envy, wanting to know more about her, be closer to her, mean something more than just a client to her.
And since her anouncement about her m-leave it has gotten worse. It's not just after the session. It's the whole week. Between sessions there are many moments I've to think about her and I feel this weight in my stomach, I feel sick, I feel lonely and more not so nice feelings.

She knows a little bit of this, but I haven't (really) told her about my envy and wanting to know more about her, wanting to be closer to her.

[ListenMoreTalkLess]

Originally Posted by Illegal Toilet

What are your experiences?

Sometimes I cry or feel sad after an appointment, at times right away and at other times it is more delayed. There have been times when I feel longing to be back in the room with T (less about T and more about my safe space). More often, therapy has opened up a recognition of something from my past or current dysfunctional way of being that makes me feel sad. I've realized how much I've lost or how much I have created much of the pain I've experienced.

[stopdog]

No - I either feel not terrible because I avoided the traps the woman set or I am enraged and frustrated because I failed to avoid a trap and I don't know why she sets them or what purpose they serve or why I was stupid enough to walk blindly into it.

[justaname4me2]

Originally Posted by Ellahmae

Yup. I cry as soon as I get into my car and usually takes me about a half hour before I can recoup enough to drive myself home.

Yup... I usually cry on the way home and on and off for days afterward... Constantly reassessing my need for this ****. Therapy is not for the faint of heart.

[Inner_Firefly]

Me too, having therapy hangover right now, moping and dazed, in a fog, missing T and wishing she could take me to her home and tuck me into bed with a bedtime story.

[growlycat]

Had therapy this morning and still feel horrible.

You have company!

[baseline]

Originally Posted by BayBrony

Yes sometimes its horrid and I describe it as homesickness, wanting the love and acceptance I have with her.
We have an ending ritual now and that helps and I have a few transitional objects which also help

Are you able to share the ending ritual and what are transitional objects? I have a hard time also between appointments, like I am totally safe until I leave the appointment.

[BayBrony]

Originally Posted by baseline

Are you able to share the ending ritual and what are transitional objects? I have a hard time also between appointments, like I am totally safe until I leave the appointment.

The otter is my T's totem animal. So I have a little stone otter she gave me and a stuffed otter that I bring to sessions. She also let me put a drop of the essential oil she uses in her office on my stuffed otter so he smells like the office.

We usually light a candle during the session. At the end we hold hands. I change the words to the ritual occasionally. Right now it goes like this
I say " I set my feet on a new path, and I am not alone"
My T can make up what she says but its usually "you are not alone"
Then I say " the light of all creation lives inside me, and lights the path before me"
T says "the light of all creation shines so brightly in you"
Then I say "this light grows ever brighter, as I love fully, and I am fully loved"
My T says "you are fully loved"
Then I blow out the candle, taking the "light" of our time together with me.

It has REALLY helped me with leaving . I used to cry my guts out Every time. I change the words sometimes to suit my feelings...

[BayBrony]

Originally Posted by baseline

Are you able to share the ending ritual and what are transitional objects? I have a hard time also between appointments, like I am totally safe until I leave the appointment.

I thought you asked what my transitional objects were but I see you actually asked what a transitional object is. A transitional object is an object that a child uses to deal with the pain of being temporarily separated from a loving parent. Like a blanket or stuffed animal. For some of us a T is the closest thing we will ever get to that kind of love. So a lot of ppl here use the phrase to refer to something either given to them by their T or associated with their T that comforts them between sessions

[baseline]

Originally Posted by BayBrony

I thought you asked what my transitional objects were but I see you actually asked what a transitional object is. A transitional object is an object that a child uses to deal with the pain of being temporarily separated from a loving parent. Like a blanket or stuffed animal. For some of us a T is the closest thing we will ever get to that kind of love. So a lot of ppl here use the phrase to refer to something either given to them by their T or associated with their T that comforts them between sessions

Thank you so much! That sounds really lovely and so kind of your T. I am so glad it helps you. I crave that kind of nurturing and caring. I don't know how to ask for it or accept it. I am now going to every 2 weeks his idea. I wish there was something to make me feel safe until the next time.