The Couch - Cent Dix (110): A Little Bit of Everything, A Whole Lotta Nothing

Seriously - how do you know what they mean? I am always guessing wrong

It's not cause I wouldn't
It's not cause I shouldn't
And, you know though well, it's not cause I couldn't
It's simply because I'm the laziest gal in town

I look at what you type in to get them.

: deliberate : =

Though I don't understand : inlurve : or : catalan :.

I don't thnk most people type them in, they just click away like a kodak advert

I came out to play and fell asleep right afterwards.. Sorry I couldn't join team no blinkies! Currently sitting in T's office running in 3hrs of sleep.. After a not so great session on Friday, we shall see how this goes.

Hey couch people,
Took my morning meds...ugh!
Leaving here in an hour to see grandma.
Still debating the letter to NP that T wants me to write explaining the crazy situation which includes reducing my Latuda while reducing off Tegretol. My first day off Tegretol is next Thursday. If I dont write the letter and come off the Latuda that would happen end of July. If I write the letter it may not happen at all. By the time I finish the letter I'll be on 20mg. My hope would be that she leave it there and we just take it from there. I don't know coming off would be so much less stressful for me. However, it is only right to keep her informed. I mean I only started reducing Latuda because I dont have medicaid which covered it.
Anyway, hope everyone has a great day!

I would never be able to join team no blinkies. Some of them are just so spot-on especially the green one with the huge grin, that is just my favorite of all I think!

although that one's not a blinkie, it's a I'm sitting still emoji, but i like the blinkie thingies too.

I adjusted my wake up time to 30 minutes later by getting stuff ready the night before, and I find it is MUCH more tolerable. It surprises me that 30 minutes more sleep in the morning helps so much. I got my new schedule, I'll be back to 7-4 starting May 1. Yay!

I'm off to work. Hope everyone has a good day! And anyone who wants a hug, I'm sending 'em out here you go!

Parenting is so hard sometimes. How does one ever not feel like it's impossible to do right??

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And yet most children actually do make it to adulthood - whether because of or in spite of their parents.

Unless the children ran with scissors or played with bb guns in which case coming to a sticky end is often in the cards.

TRIGGER WARNING FOR VERY FUNNY BUT SOMEWHAT DARK HUMOR
I am reminded of the Onion entry about stupid babies - http://www.physics.mcgill.ca/%7Earob...ny/babies.html

My kids ran with scissors and played with bb guns. Both are still alive. My D did have weird haircuts she gave herself a couple of times.

I always kept my nieces from running with scissors because of all the noise they would have made had they impaled themselves.
Children are sticky, goo producing, noisy little beasts.

Who can't tell interesting stories?

Don't forget the fact that they are little germ factories. Contamination bearing, germ ridden beasties.

Also, they rarely actually impale themselves.

I have multiple videos of my children in which you can hear me in the background saying, "maybe I should stop them from doing this instead of videoing. eh. OOOPS! Damnit!"

I guess I just can't stop thinking I failed because he wants therapy and feeling like I failed him makes my heart hurt so much. I just need to feel my way through this. Am waiting to hear back from primary care dr about an appt. And letting him know i love him and am here if he wants to talk. I am feeling sorry for myself too i guess in realizing i am as much a failure as a mother as mine was. That's what hurts most of all. I'll get through this. I will. I just have to feel my way and do whatever steps i need to do to get my son the help he needs. Am trying to look at this positively in that he did talk to me and i am doing what needs to be done. Sorry couch i know i am talking all over the place. I am working on getting a grip i really am.

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I dont have kids, but frankly i am a little disappointed in every one of my relatives who has not spent time on the couch. It indicates an unwillingness and inability to be humble and look inside. Im like, what - im the only one?! ie in the family who got messed up? Eta - looking back - yeah maybe that does make sense! .

I know nothing about your childhood, or relationship with your mother, but take it a positive thing that he feels so comfortable talking to you, expressing his vulnerabilities, that is REALLY hard to do! He opened up to you about what happened with his girlfriend, he told you about his problems in middle school-and I know you feel really bad you didn't notice then, but kids are good at hiding things from their parents! Does your husband feel as guilty as you? I bet not.

Also, even now at 35-I would NEVER open up and be so vulnerable to my mother. The thought makes me want to vomit. I did tell her once I wanted to try therapy, but I was 21, in the midst of a major depressive episode, and had been to a few sessions with my mom and her therapist-but it was mostly because I was at my breaking point. That is the most vulnerable I've ever been, and she has no idea I ever felt that bad. All I said to her was "maybe I will make an appointment with your T." My long ramble is to tell you that you are doing things right that your son is opening up to you.

All parents screw their kid up. It is impossible to raise a child for 18 years and do it perfectly. Like others said, I bet he will only need a T for a short time, to sort this stuff out. Also, it is SCARY when you are about to go out in the world on your own-assuming he is close to going to college (even if it's next year).

Art, you are NOT a failure as a parent. Repeat as necessary.

You understand him, you listen to him, he trusts you enough to ask for help, you are prepared to get him the help he needs, what part of that means failure?

You didn't turn your back on him, you were clinically depressed. You have to give yourself credit, even in that state, you didn't alienate him. Now you have a terrific relationship!

I don't know you, but I'm kind of sure that you didn't fail him. As it seems from your posts, you do care a lot about him/you love him. That's all that matters.
If it helps: I'm in therapy too, for the third time actually, and I couldn't wish for a better mom. She's great. I love her.

I am constantly amazed at what people videotape themselves and their children doing.

Exactly. Imagine listening to the one impaled trying to tell the story of how it happened. It would be a chaotic narrative disaster.
Probably with noise and goo added in for good measure.
I shudder just thinking about it.