[SarahSweden]

As I experience a bad relationship with my new T, I´ll have to end it, memories of my former T, whom I liked, comes back. I think of her more now when my current T and I aren´t a match and the memories also sometimes stops me from doing things.

My former T has her office in town and when I was in therapy with her I spent time in town talking walks, drinking coffee at cafés and so on after therapy sessions. Now I hesitate going in to town because it makes me kind of sad and for example going to the movies will be an experience mixed with sorrow about my former T.

I have though spent time in town, I don´t want to sit at home all the time, but when I experience this new and bad therapy it makes it worse and the sadness and sorrow is brought back.

Has anyone else any similar experience? What to to about it?

[Demunie]

Hi Sarah,

I read in your other posts that you have to stay with your current T, right? Can you at least talk with her about your previous T, about this feelings?

Greetings,
Demunie

[SarahSweden]

I´ve tried to bring this up and I also stated in my therapy goals that I wanted to process what happened in my former therapy. But my current T can´t handle it that well, she only seems to be irritated and feel criticized when I talk about my former T. She also doesn´t seem to have a strategy for handling discussions about termination and difficult feelings that arise from therapy relationships. So no, as I therapy with this current T doesn´t work I can´t talk to her about my former therapy either.

Originally Posted by Demunie

Hi Sarah,

I read in your other posts that you have to stay with your current T, right? Can you at least talk with her about your previous T, about this feelings?

Greetings,
Demunie

[atisketatasket]

Not with therapy, but after breakups it would be painful to revisit places we had been together, or read about countries we had traveled to. The feelings faded eventually as I moved on, but I don't know a way to speed up the process.

[Demunie]

To be honest: I'm wondering if, with this T, therapy isn't harming you more than it'll help you.

Just had this thought because of atisketatasket: Could you, instead of talking about your realtionship with your previous t, talk about a former friend? Like: "I used to drink coffee in town xyz whenever i met friend asd before. Now, everytime i walk through xyz, i feel sad". (Don't get me wrong, i don't want you to lie to your T. But i think that you have to benefit somehow. This could make things easier)

Just a thought

[SarahSweden]

Yes, I think it´s doing me more harm than good and that´s why I´m thinking of ending it. I´ve already told my T much about my former T and changing it into be a story about a friend instead wouldn´t work I´m afraid. It´s just a very hard situation in sorrow and feeling powerless because of lack of options.

Originally Posted by Demunie

To be honest: I'm wondering if, with this T, therapy isn't harming you more than it'll help you.

Just had this thought because of atisketatasket: Could you, instead of talking about your realtionship with your previous t, talk about a former friend? Like: "I used to drink coffee in town xyz whenever i met friend asd before. Now, everytime i walk through xyz, i feel sad". (Don't get me wrong, i don't want you to lie to your T. But i think that you have to benefit somehow. This could make things easier)

Just a thought

[missbella]

I'm only being half facetious.There's always singing-dancing to break-up songs, but instead of him or her, possibly substitute ---therapist.

I've had crashing disappointments and betrayals that weren't around love. When a guy finally done me wrong, I was happy to have some sympathetic music.

[divine1966]

I experienced these thoughts after leaving a relationship, having hard time going to same places I went with the person etc Feelings like these fade but sometimes come back and might surprise you years later like you travel somewhere and feel sudden sadness because that's where you went with your ex etc my t says its normal as everyone grieves differently and one night feel this sudden sadness even if they completely moved on. She recommends accept it but don't dwell excessively. She also says when tend to dwell excessive idle time is bad for you. Have enough things to fill your life so you don't dwell all day long

But I am talking about romantic relationship and break up. I don't know if it is different

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[SarahSweden]

Within therapy I think there has to be a new T who can handle a client who is heartbroken by a termination by a former T. My belief is that many T:s can´t and that it´s very hard to get proper "treatment" for earlier termination.

[Bipolar Warrior]

I'm sorry you are having such a hard time with this therapist. I agree with others that she doesn't sound good for you at all.

På tide å si "hejdå" spør du meg.