Hospital

I am just so exhausted i feel totally defeated like there is no point trying anymore like they have just ripped my deflated soul out of what is left of my body i literally feel horrible like i am about to break down into a sobbing mess. I feel worse than when i came and the irony is the only thing keeping me going in here are the other patients the doctors and nurses do nothing. Just drug people into comas until they stop complaining about how horribly they are being treated. it is a horrible environment to be in and most people seem to be getting worse here. Either that or they play the game and just got out in a few weeks but then still feel terrible outside.

Eden, i bet the environment is not a good one for you, but don't you think you should at least TRY to eat and take meds? You probably will be able to sleep some, which makes a huge difference in how one feels. Your others are trying to kill you, and i know you think if you take medications that bad thigns will happen---but my god, haven't bad things been happening for you for a long time?

Yes but those bad things are even worse. It is just horrible not a single patient feels safe here everyone has needs that aren't being met i had to ask for 2 days for toilet paper and the nurses did nothing the cleaners got it for me the doctors know nothing about you and ask a few irrelevant questions and then give you a diagnosis. I am just so tired they dont listen to your concerns and it is honestly just horrible.

Once you realize in there you have no power the better off you'll be to getting out of there its not something you can win they are cruel the doctors. Sometimes or can seem that sometimes there.nice but you can't win admit defeat and you will be let out if not you'll rot there with the voices in your head

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Please take the medication, eden.

Eden...you really are better off atleast playing along until you get out. If the courts get involved this could drag on outside the hospital. The path of least resistance is best when dealing with IP doctors.

Not eating is contributing to your feeling worse.

Like they say pick your battles, this is one you can't win so if you want to win the war go along with the rules, its the fastest way out.

I just hate the whole system it is crule and dehumanizing and it does not help people not to mention there is little mention of affects on physical health.

It is cruel and dehumanizing. That's why I want you out of there. And I think the only way out is to do what they say. What a horrible place to be in; either obey the others or the doctors.

From what you describe, you are too good for such a place, as are presumably the other patients. Do they have no other interventions for you besides drugs? What do you think you need?

They have a duty of care which is why they had to intervene. Seeing you are still not taking care of yourself, they will take this over for your own good. The more you resist, the stronger the 'evidence' as to how much you need such intervention.

You weren't coping that much better outside: not eating, feeling terrible, urged to hurt yourself....and others. At last you are physically safe in there. So are others.

Thinking of you and want to encourage you to hang in there.

Hang in there and please eat and take your meds

I am so tired i had a bit of a nap though super bored weekends are not fun and i am feeling a bit sick in the stomach which is making me not want to eat even more.

Not eating tends to make me feel a bit sick, and by the sounds of it you have barely eaten anything whilst you've been in there, so at this point I think you just need to eat in order to feel better.

Eden how are you tonight? Just check in if you get a chance.

I have been very nervous i saw a doctor today who said they want to put me on an antidepressant and an antipsychotic. I am super nervous they wanted me to start today but i couldnt do it i did talk to one of the nurses a bit though but i am scared and tried but i cant sleep and i have lost 6kg (13.2lb) in the 7 days i have been in hospital they said they had to weigh me today and i have to be weighed every 2 weeks i am so nervous i have eaten my mums food the last 2 days but it is about to run out and she doesnt know i havent been eating here i am so scared everything hurts i want to cry.

Maybe start with one of the pills. Maybe two is too many right now? Atleast that way you ARE doing part of what they want...it'll seem more cooperative than I'm trying. I' glad you're eating a little bit though even if it is your mom's cooking. Just hang in there....it'll get better.

(((eden1515))). You speak about wanting to cry in many of your post. What would happen if you let yourself cry? Or even scream if you need. They might even have a space for that.

My thought is, if you are loosing weight as you post, they wont wait 2 weeks to weigh you again. They wil be forced to keep you physically healthy as they work to combat the "Others." Hopefully, your mom will just bring food, because she wants, or the hospital may ask her, since you are not choosing to eat the hospital food. Yuk! but it beats a tube feeding. They might be willing to give you supplemental liquid nourishment.

Hang in there.

They don't have toilet paper in hospitals in Australia? You had to ask for it for 2 days? What did you use to wipe for those two days? It sounds nightmarish facility with no toilet paper? Do they not know you don't eat at all? It must be something very noticeable

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I am now an involuntary patient for the next 3 days and they are forcing me to take meds i feel terrible the others are mad and they want me to do all this stuff i am scared and exhausted.

It sounds like part of things is beyond your control now. That doesn't mean it is going to be beyond your control forever - just for these three days for now. Fighting against it at this point will make things worse for you in the long run. So maybe the best thing to do is go along with it, take the meds (you don't have a choice about that, right) and see what happens after three days.

You've been fighting with the others for a long time now and you're understandably exhausted. Maybe you could look at these three days as an opportunity to take a break for a bit and let the doctors step in while you recuperate. I hope that you can find some peace over the next few days. Take care

I feel worse than before bad things have already started to happen i cant stay here i cant it is just going to get worse this is all my fault i tried to tell them they didnt believe me i cant take this everything hurts and they are so mad and i cant make it stop and i screwed up so badly this is all my fault.

You need to look at your options wisely here and choose what you want to do about the situation your in

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