Hospital

Hopefully the others will realize this is beyond your control. If they're forcing you to take meds, it's not your fault.

Have you taken any of the meds yet?

I took some yesterday it was a bad idea bad stuff happened i havent taken any today they havent injected me with anything either so i think they are bluffing but i have no clue what will happen tomorrow.

You keep saying bad stuff happened. What is this bad stuff?

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Why would they be bluffing? What bad stuff happened when you took Meds?

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

The first few days of taking meds you will feel the side effects like tiredness and maybe dizzyness but it gets better after that. Because you haven't been eating you will probably feel the side effects more but they do get better.

Yes, I am very curious to know, because how much can happen when you are in the hospital?

You're in my thoughts, and I'm sending you positive bursts of energy.

Eden if you get a chance check in and let us know how you are doing. I hope things are getting better. I know things have been very tough and I hope things settle down for you soon.

Eden1515, have not forgotten about you, and am hoping things have shifted for the better.

Eden, also thinking about you and hoping you're doing OK...

Hang in there!

Really hoping you're doing better Eden. Been thinking about you.

Hi sorry I haven't replied in ages I was in hospital for 16 days they didn't end up forcing me to have any injections or forcing me to have medications expect that one time. Today I was moved to a residential program thing which can go for up to 3 months I feel weird I didn't even tell the doctors at the hospital even half of what is going on and again my they don't ask I don't tell worked in my favor. However I feel no different to how I did when I went in I am just in a program with less people and less monitoring even though I was in hospital I still managed to sneak in my razors and I have been self harming a lot the last 5 days. I had a huge panic attack after I got here and I feel horrible. In the hospital I was constantly in like crisis mode and when that happens I pretty much shut down and go on auto pilot which appears to look very normal like I push stuff aside to make sure no one thinks I am doing badly and they let me go faster. And I was dissociating a lot while I was there too. Either way I narrowly missed being doomed but I am scared I am going to end up back their I still feel like I want to kill myself all the time and I have not slept for days I lost over 6kg while I was in the hospital and now I feel like I need to stop eating again. I feel really out of control and I want to scream the others in my head are mad at me and I just feel like I am falling even further down a hole and my head isn't mine and I don't know what to do anymore.

I'm so sorry you didn't tell the truth and didn't let them help you. You make it sound like you are so happy to have gotten out without getting why help. What a waste of your time and theirs. Being prideful that you cut, sneaked razors in and saying nothing. So nothing has changed and you can go one feeling the same fear and being afraid.

So 16 days for nothing? Why do you say you don't you know what to do? First you might need to show your doctor or Pdoc that you self harm and then tell them you want to die. That should be your first step.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Hi, I hope the residential program may help, maybe you will like some of the people there?

Please let them know you're self-harming and suicidal. Hugs...

First things first EVERYONE knows I self harm they saw it at the hospital and they don't care nobody actually cares I told my psychologist I was being moved days ago and no reply I haven't spoken to my psychiatrist but basically everyone seems to be perfectly fine if I am no longer here. I know when I am not wanted and everyone is sending a pretty clear message the hospital also knows I am still suicidal but hey when they need beds they need beds. Also I did try to talk to them a few times but none of you seem to understand nor appreciate how freaking difficult it is for me to actually physically speak. I can't sometimes I actually cannot speak not like I go quiet like I can't speak and I am sitting their screaming in my head but nothing comes out. It literally took me a year before I spoke to my psychologist we passed notes the whole time so thanks for being so understanding nobody gets it and I am to tired to keep trying.

Also all the other stuff going on is difficult enough to explain you all seem to think it is so simple and I am tired of people saying just do this little thing when that thing is not little or not just a simple way to "help" I am so freaking exhausted I feel like I am about to cry and honestly I feel like I had already made up my mind I don't think anything will help.

I can't even begin to get what you are going through, I can only lend an ear and empathize, basically just be a witness to the pain you are in. I'm sorry that you are having to trudge through all that you go through. If you think of something I can say or do differently if it can work for me, I will.

(((Eden)))
You sound more coherent today I hope things start to look up a bit.

I sure know how it feels to be not wanted, so just a reminder, again, lots of us here in internet space are wishing you the best.

Ah yes, the public scolding of a person in distress. Always a crowd pleaser. Maybe her fear is not so easy to manage. Judge not, lest ye be judged.

Nobody said anything about it being easy. Also, I have not seen anyone scold Eden or judge her. Everything I have read has been very supportive... Unless I have missed something.

You have missed something