Is your T a blank slate or does she share something of herself

Ditto. I'd like to know too. i know myself well at this point, after more than 6 years of therapy, but feel lacking in the connection department.

He used to hand me tissues but I never took them. In the beginning my crying was intense sobbing episodes. He would sit with me and/or talk to me to try to calm down. These days I talk thru my tears

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wow..........wrong thread

My T was pretty much a blank slate for the most part. I worked with her for along time so I got to know more about her. I never really asked her questions because she would deflect them back to me. Most of the stuff I found out about her I learned from googling her extensively on the internet. I saw a picture of her with a drink and it blew me away. Sometimes when she would share something it would pain me like she had a good relationship with her father and they were close while my father was pretty much nonexistent for many years. I was torn between wanting to know more about her but yet feeling pained when I would find out too much.

Never had a blank slate T...would have driven me crazy. I got know basic stuff like what books they read in order to trust them. Never knew details and didn't want to know didn't ask, if I had they probably would have shared a few innocent things.

My t is rather open in general, though we have addressed my worries about knowing too much about her (brought up by a few experiences with other t's). She doesn't cross the line into dual relationships, but I have quite a bit of knowledge about t's personal life/ life outside the t office. I'm undecided about how much it helps. On the one hand, I like knowing t has a balance between personal and professional, and that she takes time to care for her whole self. On the other hand, I sometimes worry that I might have too much knowledge that may end up being hurtful. I've had t's tell me things they should have reserved for colleagues, and it ultimately caused me way more worry than necessary (and still occasionally impacts my life though it has been years since I left their clinics)... I dunno. Like I said, I'm undecided about the value of it, though I likely would panic about a t who was a complete blank slate (too much space for my transference and fears to run amuck).

Your last sentence chimed with me. I think that my T's blankness has given a lot of space for my fears and negative transference to come out. but I think I need something personal from her to anchor to, to help to resolve my fears insecurity.

I don't think I would have been seeing my T still if he was a blank slate. I hate not knowing things, it makes me crazy. My T isn't an open book, but he's shared some personal stuff in sessions when it related to my stuff. Or when I asked him things about him or his personal life.

She is not quite a blank slate but leans in that direction. I believe she makes a purposeful decision to share the things she has shared with me. She does not share just to meet her own needs, or to keep the conversation going, or because she wants to seem relatable.

I do not Google her for a very practical reason: I found out the neighborhood she lives in that way, and now I have to constantly tell myself not to allude to that in conversation because she didn't tell me and I'm not "supposed to know" that (in my mind).

Most of my t's over the years have been of the same temperament; not quite blank slates. It is a good balance for me.

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