Couch 113 - Sofa, So Good

I didn't think I could draw what I was feeling either. But a couple months ago t brought out a drawing pad and some pastel chalks and I sat on the floor and drew. I can't draw for squat either but I managed to draw well enough that t got what I was trying to say. I'd say give it a try, you never know! It might help!

I know I keep asking people if their t's do sand play. And then I forget whose do and whose don't. Does your t by chance do sand play therapy? It's been really super helpful for me.

I Know only about. 2 or 3 on the couch will remember me. I just need to say somethings I've been thinking about and this seems to be the only safe place... I've spent my whole life being the good girl doing what is expected of me...the good daughter, the good wife, etc... Just once I would like to do something fun....dangerous...out of character except one I'm middle aged and fat and missed the boat on being young and stupid....

I read once more people when they get old and die regret what they didn't do then what they did do..... I had chances....Even though I was married I had a few opportunities for one night stands or an affair.. ... Now I would be satisfied with just getting drunk or stoned ...

RTS - why not do something crazy?

I put together a power point once. The woman still did not understand me, but I could at least rest assured I had done what I could to be clear.

Being parentified, especially emotionally, costs you your childhood.

Hugs!

I put together a power point once. The woman still did not understand me, but I could at least rest assured I had done what I could to be clear.

I once met a guy online...I was going to meet him in a hotel for some non vanilla fun...but as we were planning where to meet...my baby started to cry in the other room and I was like are you insane this guy could kill you or something...

My practical or paranoid anxious mind and my religious upbringing sabotage me everytime.

Maybe you didn't translate the power point into fluent Therapist. Or maybe there weren't enough animations to keep her attention.

Just back from T. Don't remember much but feel like a dog crawling away to lick its wounds.

Sometimes there is not a hurt greater than sharing your heart and it being not valued.

I'm understanding that a hurt for one person affects them differently than it would someone else. The effect can be deep to that person and seem very small to someone else.

I'm learning that. Im thankful for that.

I was young. Didn't feel well at all. Told my mom I didn't feel well. She told me I was fine. Basically brushed me aside. I threw up on her feet. I was NOT ok.

Just saying.

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I Know only about. 2 or 3 on the couch will remember me. I just need to say somethings I've been thinking about and this seems to be the only safe place... I've spent my whole life being the good girl doing what is expected of me...the good daughter, the good wife, etc... Just once I would like to do something fun....dangerous...out of character except one I'm middle aged and fat and missed the boat on being young and stupid....

I read once more people when they get old and die regret what they didn't do then what they did do..... I had chances....Even though I was married I had a few opportunities for one night stands or an affair.. ... Now I would be satisfied with just getting drunk or stoned ...

I used short sentences and no words with more than 2 syllables.

I once met a guy online...I was going to meet him in a hotel for some non vanilla fun...but as we were planning where to meet...my baby started to cry in the other room and I was like are you insane this guy could kill you or something...

My practical or paranoid anxious mind and my religious upbringing sabotage me everytime.

It really does. But now I'm trying to be the child, to be taken care of. To just be loved and to have fun. But it's like I can't. I feel that chold, even buried in me, is gone forever. I can't let myself be taken care of. Guess that is what makes therapy hard for me. Talking, for one. I don't do that. But now I am also talking here. And knowing, in a way, that is someone taking care of me, holding me up until he can teach me to hold myself up instead of being curled on the floor. Hypothetically. Thanks for the hugs!

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RTS, what is stopping you from getting drunk? Drive down my way some time!

Seriously nothing says you have to continue to stay with your husband for forever, or that it is too late to decide to have fun and do some things for yourself.

i would like to get stoned again. it's been a really long time.

Sometimes there is not a hurt greater than sharing your heart and it being not valued.

I'm understanding that a hurt for one person affects them differently than it would someone else. The effect can be deep to that person and seem very small to someone else.

I'm learning that. Im thankful for that.

I was young. Didn't feel well at all. Told my mom I didn't feel well. She told me I was fine. Basically brushed me aside. I threw up on her feet. I was NOT ok.

Just saying.

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It's definitely really hard to take care of one's inner child.

I often beat my inner child up in my self hatred.

But I'm slowly slowly learning in therapy to notice her, and be neutral if I can't be kind. Instead of being harshly punitive.

I'm also learning how it feels like to be nurtured in therapy by T (and the contrast of T to my upbringing is so f!@king painful!!) and then learning to hold myself tenderly in my mind.