Couch 113 - Sofa, So Good

Drinking ginger ale works for me. And deep breathing.

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Thanks. Do tums really work? I might have to try that.

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Maybe I can actually sleep now. Thanks. Guys! Going to finish my deep breathing until I fall asleep. Farewell!

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When I really want to get out of my head - I drum. I have some drumming recordings on my computer - trying to find them now - if I can figure out how to upload one I will do so.

ETA: I found one, but I don't know how to upload it. My computer skillz aren't what they used to be.

Night couch!

Can I just say that I obviously don't speak normal caring English. My words seem to be misunderstood all over the place. I know full well that I am whining and having a pity party. Oh well.

Feeling really stupid right now. Don't want to get into the whole drama of it, but I offer some cash in my wallet to my h because he didn't want to eat leftovers. Kindness? He doesn't usually keep cash and will grab a burger if he has some cash, he didn't have any in his wallet. How in the hell did that turn out to be a total defacing of me?? Who knows..... No judgement please. There was nowhere else for me to let this go.

We talk here, but we do have a privateness to talk about things we can't say to others. Thank you for hearing me.

I want to share this link. I hope it helps anyone who needs it.

http://everydayfeminism.com/2016/04/...al-abuse-ptsd/

A sweet soft hug to who wants it.

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It's late. My heart hurts.

I don't belong here! I don't know how to function, communicate or live in this world.

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Much easier for me to visualise than the mating profess of humans

Book recommendation: Tooth and Claw by Jo Walton. It is like a Jane Austen novel but with dragons. Jo Walton writes extremely well, in different genres (though usually fantasy/sf related) and I love every single book of hers. My username comes from a Walton novel.

Awesome pun.

Now I wonder if SD got it?

That would be giving up, though. And the thought tbat perhaps there might be people of the female persuasion who could potentially understand certain things is one that I could not have entertained a few years ago. It is growth, in the direction of feeling less of a freak.

I know that this is all very theoretical because I can't be specific. Sorry about that. And thank you for replying.

Apart from the fact that I do not believe in fate or that anything is "meant": no, not at all. That is very far from how I look at it.

First, there is no such thing as "the one", not outside the realm of science fiction (I read a novel recently where they scanned everybody's DNA and were thus able to find everyone's perfect match; they also had to do away with all national borders since it was extremely uncommon for the perfect matches to come from the same nation or even the same continent). People fit together more or less well but of course there is not one true match - that's pure romance or satire (as in the book I read).

Second, all those things you describe are pretty unrealistic. Sorry to be all negative but the sooner one stops to expect anything such as understanding or "support" (what does that even mean?) within a relationship, the happier one will be. That certainly applies to me anyway. The way I make my marriage work is by not telling the spouse about mistakes I make unless I really have to, and by taking my problems to T (whose job it is to listen to them and make detached and neutral comments). As for holding and taking care and making things ok.... no, sorry. Not outside the movies. Well, of course H will cook for me when I'm sick, but he does all the cooking anyway And every now and again he'll do something caring, but you can't go around expecting that kind of thing.

Every relationship is of course different though.

Omg. Ive been awoken by noisy neighbors again. I think the woman next door is trying to run an after hours gambling den! A, no wonder they were so dang loud! B, you know i hate to be the bad guy. But last night omg it was 4 and they were still at it! These are studio aparments right next door to each other! This is not the lovely girl who wrote me a note, its th other side. I said i was gonna call the cops and they cleared out fast and quiet. Wtf.

Took me a while. I should go work for the DMV.

Gaviscon. It is like magic. I know they have it in the UK and it's called Gaviscon there as well so hopefully you can get it in the US also.

Yes I do. Love at first sight and happy ever after!

YES! That would be a brilliant name! I suspect it would be reported and shut down within a day, but maybe not if you really have a chain called Sofa King

I had "Tiber" autocorrected to "River", which is annoying but not without its charm.

I could discuss this at length, but it is really the same mechanism that causes people to be upset on any Internet forum - Facebook, Psych Central, Instagram, Wikipedia discussion areas.... Anyway, it was not really about the online context so much as about my reaction. It is worse when we are in the same room and she gets upset. I am on constant alert for that whenever we meet, which is a couple of times a week, usually.

My reaction to when relatives get upset is to ignore them and move the conversation onto something else.
Anway

The puppy is being nearly-obedient which I am sure is a sign of rebellion.

How old is the puppy now?

TrailRunner, DF, healed, all others who are hurting: I hope tomorrow will be a better day.

Well He's no longer a puppy. he is 1 year and 4 months old, but he still the runty puppy to me. He looks quite majestic with his ruff and feathers full grown. When I feel inclined I will download and post an updated photo.

Thank you!! Tough night!! There is an Alanon meeting kind of close to me on Thursday. I'm trying to find the courage to go.

There is the fear of "going away" in a group of people I don't know and then the explanation of my destination to him and why. He thinks I should be "fixed" by now.

It's really late and I have to go to bed. Thank you so much for your reply. It made a big difference in where I was.

Trail, I'm relatively quiet on the couch but your words definitely are among those I look forward to reading.