The Couch 116: Puns Tsar Terrible...

I'm for sleep now, I've held out as long as I could. Good night friends!

The steel belt is showing on one of my front tyres. I am waitng for my neighbour to come home to ask if he can put my spare on. But at 3pm i need to pick up my D. I am feeling stressed as i don't want an accident. Its only showing on the outside edge

Hmmm... I wonder if that is what was going on between me and Madame T. Her "boot adult children out of the nest" instincts might have come into play.

ETA:
If so, that was hardly professional on her part.

((Granite))

That's an awful lot to have to cope with all at once.

Memories and texting vomit to t. Need to sleep. Can't. Husband is hurt at something I said, but it's how I feel so.... Life is hard complicated and sucks

Tyre changed. I feel better now.

Because you're in Don Cherry's territory, not Michael Jordan's 😉

I did not don cherry underg's!

(Hey, I'm jetlagged. I'm off my game. So off I was confused which Don Cherry you meant at first.)

Even with jet lag I can't sleep. Jeez.

And after a record breaking 3 hours sleep I am having a conversation with my youngest daughter while nursing my ego and a cat scratch. The cat pounced on my stomach causing me to instinctively roll over causing her to instinctively dig her claws in to keep herself attached to me while I fell out of bed. At least she had a soft place to land!

There is yet hope, many hours before I have to get up, surely I'll get a few more hours in.

Not a good night. No drama or flip out. Just feel very small and alone.

This is making a part of me angry. Just wanted to say that.

This is probably not the right place to put this, but I don't know where else to say it.

My friend has invited me to come with her to her cabin in Colorado. She said she would fly me there to be in a safe place and feel peace. I've never flown before. That's a bit scary. It sounds inviting.

My youngest son struggles strongly with agoraphobia and GAD. My husband has no clue. He doesn't understand why he can't just "get over it". There is much anger there.

I know I posted here last night flipping out. I'm sorry!!

I just have no one else to hear me.

There are so many things that are being made right with my counselor and then so many things that want to make me throw my hands up. Not to give up, but to just say... What the heck** and I supposed to do with this??!!!!

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I'm sorry you are lonely and struggling, Trailrunner. The visit to Colorado sounds very nice and it is good to hear that you have a close friend who wants to hang out with you and to give you some time to feel safe and peaceful.

It is frustrating that your H does not understand what your son is going through. I'm glad he (son) has you on his side.

And while I completely understand feeling remorse about posting to the couch, for whatever it is worth I did not think anything of what you wrote last night was in any way inappropriate or bad.

I had a really bad nightmare just before waking up and find it a bit hard to shake off. I don't really want to face another day, yet here I am on the bus, in the rain, on my way to meet with a student. Surely I deserve a medal! <-- sarcasm And then I have T.

I hope the insomniacs in the western hemisphere get some sleep.

[edited to add]Gah, a guy smelling heavily of old smoke just sat down right behind me. I don't get exposed to that very often anymore - back before smoking in public places indoors was banned I would not have noticed it so much...

Thank you!! Thank you for hearing me. I don't really know what I'm supposed to do with this right now. If that makes sense.

I'm changing and becoming more confident as I heal from my past. People who have known me are not receiving this as a good thing

There is confusion and distress here.

Torn.

Thank you so very much for hearing me. I remember from yesterday your kind words.

Thank you!!

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Hugs to both of you, Trail and Crocus.

Trail, you're learning which people in your life truly value you and support your growth.

That smoky smell makes me crazy. It's gotten a little better on the bus, now that there is a city ordinance prohibiting smoking near the bus stops. But the public library computers are still a crap shoot. You get settled in, then someone logs in next to you, just reeking of smoke. I've almost said out loud, I thought this was the nonsmoking section!?

7.9 for Biology lab. 7.9 for Chemistry lab. 9.3 for Math test!

Grades are given on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being the lowest and 10 being the highest. 5.5 and up is a pass.

I'm pleased.

Great, Breadfish!!

Well done bread fish- that's amazing x

Thanks. I'm really pleased. I dislike lab - it's very chaotic, so I can't pay attention to everything going on around me, which sets my PTSD-antennae blaring - so I'm really proud I got a 7.9.

Sending you gentle hugs and thoughts of peace, Trail. A cabin in colorado sounds absolutely lovely. Flying has always been more restful for me than riding in a car, but then I've been riding in planes since I was a little kid, a baby actually, my Uncle was a pilot before he retired so it's always been a comfortable thing for me. I hope you are able to get away for a bit, sounds like it will do you good.

At work because T told me to go to work.
She also said I deserve love.
I'm not even sure what that means.
I keep re-reading the text I woke up to and it confuses me.

Do you write down your dreams/nightmares? Sometimes that helps get a bad one out of my head. But yeah sometimes they are hard to shake off. I'd say you do deserve a medal!! We need a medal emoji. *Artie makes mental note to find a medal later today and post it for Crocus because right now she has to go do the dishes and then leave for work*

have a good day, couchies!

(drumming my fingers waiting the required 8 seconds before I can post again)

I had a pretty good T session today. I did not tell him about feeling awful after seeing him at the graduation thingy on Friday, and since he also did not mention it I assume he didn't see me. So that is still there. I did however talk about another thing that has bothered me, namely how hard it has been for me to know whether it is okay for me to text him or not between sessions. That was a good conversation and it helped. I told him about the nightmare I had and we discussed what it could mean and how I felt about it. (art - I don't write them down regularly, though sometimes if there's an unusually persistent one I might do that.) And then I brought up my weight issues which are very hard for me to talk about, and he was really helpful there as well.

And after all that, I had lunch with my best friend and managed to tell him as well about my weight loss plans, and his reaction was beyond anything I could have hoped for. Not only did he seem totally non-disgusted, he offered to support me, and he even discussed specific goals that might be reasonable - I have no idea what I've done to deserve a friend like that. It feels weird to say this, but having somebody else know about this does feel like a good thing.