The Couch 116: Puns Tsar Terrible...

Headed to bed. I was listening to a song and just wanted to put it here for whoever wanted to hear it. Thank you for being here!



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I am still under the no sleep situation. I will fall asleep in about an hoir and then I will either wake up at 5:30 or the young dog will get me at 6.

Hey couch!
It's all misty here in the valley...

Ellahmae are you okay?
SD, hope you get some sleep. Do you nap in the day? A daytime nap is my favourite thing ever, after a nice cup of tea of course.

Hugs to all of you.

((Breadfish))

You're not despicable.

W said to her mother, "Take us and go!". But she never did.

((EllahMae))

Are you going to call her on it?

I remember my mother, in one of her very rare moments of talking about anything remotely related to emotions or interpersonal relationships, telling me that she often just wanted to leave home and move somewhere else, and at least I was not yet at the age where I'd rebel against her (my siblings are considerably older than me, and I must have been quite small at the time). I recall the feeling of panic that 1) perhaps Mum would just be gone one day, and 2) I was inevitably going to turn into a monster as I grew older. (As a matter of fact I never rebelled in any way, so there's that.)

I guess I ought to feel grateful that she would share those thoughts with me...

I had a similar situation in that I was by far the youngest; my closest sibling was eight years older than me. When my parents divorced, I was eight and became the primary emotional support for both my mom and my dad. At the time, I did feel special that they would rely on me in that way but I'm coming to realize it was not healthy at all.

On top of that, I was always getting the message that I was too emotional and my feelings were not valid...but apparently their feelings around the divorce were completely valid and I was not in a position to question them. I just gave unconditional support to both of them. Very confusing for a child.


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I don't think ought enters into it.

Morning couch.

I slept in...ooppss.

Oh well, I have nowhere to be until CVS tonight. I do need to clean my room and clean out my car, yes I know I always say this. I just can't keep them clean.

I did take my medication this morning. Hopefully, I can get back on track with it. Not to please pdoc, but to better my health.

Just went out to get a drink and the house owner was up and out there. She asked if I wanted to switch rooms with the other renter to help me keep my room more clean (since that room is smaller). She said it would be $50 less a month. I told her I needed to think about it. I'm not sure if a smaller room matters, I'm not sure all my stuff could fit into a smaller room. I'll think about it though. It was a nice offer. She has been kind about trying to help me keep my room clean...she has even offered to help me clean it occasionally. I always decline her help as I don't want to make her sort through my mess. Maybe, I should take her up on her offers. I dunno. I truly have to think about it.

Great, SO blew up at me over my ongoing struggle over whether or not I am a survivor of childhood physical abuse.

Well, clothes are put away. Now to move on to something else. This is a daunting task.

I don't want to go to class today. But I really should because it's the last class before a test. I just don't want to go shower though. Or brush my teeth. Or get dressed. I have no motivation today.

It is actually something that doesn't matter - and after sleeping on it I'm not sure she really lied or if my head just took what it thought it should hear and ran with it.

I asked a question, and she gave a response that seemed out of the norm and not accurate but it doesn't matter anyway. Hard to explain without the details and I don't want to post the details here.

I'm okay after a lot of calming, grounding, and writing it out rationally.

Yes, I am because I need to know and discuss it out, still doesn't make sense so, yes, today I plan on asking about it and why she never said anything earlier if it's the actual truth.

YAY! I'M QUITTING YOGA!
I do so hate yoga. I told my pdoc yesterday how much I dislike it (my father, who I do yoga with, was with me at the appointment) and today my father proposed we quit. This evening is our last lesson.

You're a person after my own heart. Cannot stand yoga. Not enough violent sudden movement for me.

Pots, pans, and cooking utensils have a home. I may ask if there is room in the kitchen though, so I can free up some space in my room. The joys of cleaning.

And guess what I'm replacing yoga with? Something like self defense or martial arts.

Need to dump out all my half-empty, flat soda bottles, so they can be recycled. I will do that tonight after work though, when housemates are asleep. I don't want them to see how many I have.

Good show. I'm thinking of finding a rockclimbing gym when I return to the US.

I might break a leg, but I won't put an eye out like SD always claims!

Well, you don't really need 2 legs. Nor 2 working hands. Nor 2 working eyes.

I do not like yoga either. At all.

How would a SMALLER room help you be neater?? But glad to hear from you again!! It's like having the kid home from school between semesters

Bowing out for awhile. I've lost patience. Off to do some nurturing activities. I'll return when I get when I can.