Couch 117: Come On In and Set-tee A While

Sometimes I THINK I understand you... .but I'm never 100% sure.
I do like you though!

Agreed. It has caused me harm, etc. I need to be in here sparingly but I like my couchies. What it does the most is make me question my relationship with T, which hurts my therapy process. She's a very competent t and I need to trust that instead of letting the board get in my head.

I guess, for me, I think questioning is always good. I don't want to roll over and submit to those guys (I get that others don't see it as that and for those others - then I guess it would not be)
Perhaps I don't find things about specific therapists or their job in general to bother me because I don't consider that I have a relationship, other than in the most perfunctory of ways, with either of them, nor do I think that what others do with their therapists have any bearing on what I use the ones I see for. How is it different than reading conflicting studies or papers or ted talks? I guess I don't see how a forum of strangers could help but cause some questioning unless it was made up of drones. And if questioning does occur, is it really the fault of a forum where one knows others are anonymous, have varying ideas, varying types of therapy, and greatly different reasons for seeing a therapist and for being on such a forum?
Or one could take the approach of therapists and just consider all a part of the ephemeral and opaque process.

I'm severely insecure in any relationship. What my T and I have, is a relationship. Which to work through my life, I need that. However, I am still insecure in it at times and take all the negative things I read on the board and project them onto her. It delays my therapy while we work through it. I do not find the board at fault for this, it's my head and my decisions and how I misinterpret everything.

Are there good parts of being on the forum too?
It is useful and fascinating for me to read about how others do therapy.

Maybe I'm missing something but I can't imagine how terms of safety could apply to a forum such as this one where everyone is anonymous -- I mean, the only way I would think of it as safe / unsafe is if there was a threat in terms of my real identity getting compromised. But, that's pretty much it.

As for being miffed, hurt etc by other posters' responses, again this may be just me but I can't possibly take an anonymous forum terribly seriously -- sure, sometimes I get a trifle irritated (or overjoyed) if someone disagrees (or agrees) with me but other than a brief burst of adrenaline that makes me (hastily at times!) post in response, I don't see any other issue.

If I did find that I was feeling really out of sorts with stuff being said here -- other than potentially very specific, serious trigger warning stuff -- I would personally want to figure out what's going on with my emotional life that a random, anonymous internet forum has the power to make me feel that way. But, then again, I do understand that I process emotions etc rather differently from others and so, I may not be seeing something (correctly).

And yes, I do agree that as far as anonymous web forums go, this one is remarkably Kumbaya-ish (and I mean that in the best way possible i.e., without any snark!). I also absolutely love it that despite the anonymity and lack of detail about people's lives, somehow people's "voices" come through loud and clear -- to me, it feels like a near-perfect blend of "knowing" and still being at a safe (read anonymous) distance.

ETA: I got on to PC about 8 months after starting therapy -- for me, it's made me much less irritated with my therapist!

I also like unaluna. But she fired me as her official translator because I didn't understand her.

I used to read political blogs and fora. Believe me, there is nothing even approaching that level of nastiness here. Most of the time (not all), to me the whole forum just seems like a group of mature adults of varying opinions and backgrounds discussing therapy and therapists and trying to be supportive of each other, each in their own way.

eta: I can totally see why reading the forum would affect one's own attitude towards or perceptions of one's therapist, but I don't see the safe/unsafe.

I love you and how you live. But I will need a few more reincarnations before I personally could do all that. Here's hoping! That's how I feel about many people here. Like maybe coming back as an ant or a bee would teach me to be more communal. Or a hyena. If you could hear my laugh, you'd understand that!

Yes but don't I always offer to smooth over every of your life's bumps twists and roadblocks by arranging a companionable couchie road trip? And who else uses words like companionable?! Well besides Crocus.

Unaluna -- I like you too but right now, I'm a bit obsessed wondering about the exact type and extent of cuteness of your T's shoes (did someone say shoe fetish?).

I attribute that entirely to the forum's evil effects on my (easily influenced) psyche (or at least the shoe obsessed part of it).

Seriously could someone pm me? Crocus? Stop? The hankster?

He EVEN has shoes that are like the bowling shoes the first Mr Luna and I got like 40 years ago. I especially like those. I was so happy when I got those shoes - it was the best part of bowling for me! So every time he wears them, it's like finding the shoes for the first time all over again. Plus I once hit on a 7-10 split. I should have gotten a badge for it but I didn't realize it was such a big thing. That's one of many reasons I hate Mr luna.

What are you talking about? My life is perfect, I'll have you know!

I think we need a Couch spa weekend. Mud baths all around!

Oh gosh, LoL. My T was tickling me Friday and said " the whole office is empty today, so I can make you squeal as loud as I want and no one will call the humane society about cats being tortured!!"

I was like " I do not sound like a tortured cat!!!"

She said "according [t in the next office] you can't hear the giggles, just the high pitched squealing. So yeah. You do. She asked if I.had a pet in.my office"

ROFLMA!!!!

I have found this forum tremendously psychologically helpful, especially in the early days when I felt in a vacuum with everything that was going on with T1, and panicked about what was happening. Coming here helped me to gain some perspective and understand what was happening. Advice from this forum has also helped me make good decisions (it was stopdog, over 18 months ago who suggested I went on a break from T1 and tried out another - turns out to have been a lifechanging positive decision for me)
There are times when I feel miffed or put out by a response or a mod's decision, and sometimes it helps me to take a couple of days off but there are far more pros than cons for me at the moment.

I also find it helpful much more than harmful. Mostly I protect myself by avoiding certain threads or not engaging with certain posters.
But NO ONE in my regular life understands how intense and powerful therapy is and it helps me a lot just to be able to post somewhere where people understand how powerful the emotions are

I second that, Bay.

Sent from my SM-T550 using Tapatalk

I would use phrases like not uncompanionable.

I've just received a telepathic message from Madame T. She said:

"So long as you are determined that the problem is me, you are not going to solve it."

Ack.
----

Getting along with people we don't understand is an important life skill!

Yes but sometimes the drone caviar delivery is slightly delayed. Maybe you don't mind, but junior cat gets miffed.

Eta - taking a break from dishwashing. Drain is running slow. I'm out of vinegar and baking soda. I just poured some straight ammonia down. That should chew up any gunk.

You are drawing the wrong conclusions from my post. I disn't mention other posters, inter-user conflict, or disagreements between people on the forum. It would never occur to me to think that disagreement between ideas was a negative thing and I sincerely hope that you don't think that's my opinion.

Well, geez, I'm sorry to read RedSun is leaving PC. But I understand, if it's best for him/her.

I like Breadfish's idea- if I ever plan to leave PC, I'll let someone know in pm and they can announce it, if they want.

Did you mean "cavalier"? Just imagning fish eggs delivering a punchline...They culdn't hear it in the back roe...