What triggered your feelings for your T?

If you've developed significant longing, infatuation, or sexual desire for a therapist, what was the nature of the therapist's behavior that triggered these feelings? The longing or infatuation doesn't have to be primarily sexual in nature.

With T1 it was definitely mixed messages. He had push/pull boundaries which seemed to trigger some great desire to please him, and a constant longing for him. It related to my childhood and took about a year to dissipate after I stopped seeing him. I think he was incompetent rather than deliberately abusive.
I do have some level of attachment to current T but it is carefully processed in session and I feel in control of it. It seems to relate more to where I am in therapy and I feel it will pass as we work through this stuff.

I chose the first one but on second thought that's not correct either. None of these have quite the right wording.

For me, my Transference didn't happen because of "The situation" - being in a room with an intelligent caring person who focuses on me is a factor, yes but the root is not that. The root of it is based in my own need. I've had the same feelings before with teachers and older co-workers. So no .

IMO, Transference isn't something that happens 'to me' it's something that occurs as an expression of need from within me.

None of the above, it just started when I first saw her face.

I figured that was a given, or at least that client needs were a major contributing factor. I'm interested in specifically what the T did (if anything) that elicited the feelings.

I think I'd develop significant feelings for a volleyball if you left me alone with one long enough. So...the situation, I guess?

I'd say my T didn't do anything in particular besides being herself. Any woman about 8-15 years older than me who is consistently kind to me and listens to me used to spark my transference intensely. Less so now because I am working that need out with my T. So basically she just did her job-- listened and was non judgmental. It doesn't take much.

Eta : for ME it doesn't take much to spark my need foraternal love is what I mean by "it doesn't take much"

Lol me too. My wife and friends make fun of me because I ascribe feelings and motivation to stuffed animals, vehicles, computers, trees, etc etc. And can become quite attached

I wish I could check the first two because that would exactly describe my experience. Two out of three of my therapists were sending mixed signals, the third one didn't do anything confusing but the feelings still developed and they were also pretty intense. I picked "the T did nothing" option because I think it fairly reflects the fact that even with ethical T I did develop feelings, which means they were triggered by therapy situation itself. However, in other two cases, because of the Ts confusing behavior I ended up seriously traumatized, so the Ts most certainly had contributed greatly in what transpired.

I can't say though that in the third case I was completely unharmed by the inability to resolve the feelings in the way they normally get resolved in real life. Actually, in "real life", most likely, the feelings wouldn't have developed in the first place if I knew that T outside of his professional role. I don't think any other real life situation would've given the conditions for such obsession to arise. So, even in the case when the T was behaving perfectly appropriately within the traditional therapy structure I still got hurt but not as much as in two other cases. The other factor to consider is that the "good T" experience was in between the "bad" ones. If it was the first experience may be I wouldn't have been hurt at all. Who knows..

But back to the question, I guess, what I am saying is that therapy situation itself evoked strong transference in me even when the T was not doing anything to encourage it, that's why I picked "T did nothing". And, on the other hand when the other Ts did encourage it by sending mixed messages, the transference became a traumatic experience.

I can't participate because I don't have those kinds of feelings for my current therapist. I just simply like her as a therapist, and sometimes I mistrust her, but the mistrust is my own stuff.

In the past I had a couple therapists who tried to create those kind of feelings by talking to me like I was a child, and doing dramatic caring facial expressions and vocalizations, but it did not have any effect (except to create distance).

I had transference from the get go. She developed countertransference soon thereafter.
I had maternal attachment issues. She has had rocky relationships with her now adult kids.
She is the same age as my mother. I am the same age as her oldest child.
We both quickly became attached to each other.
This all led to the two of us becoming enmeshed or entangled in some sort of platonic dual relationship.

I picked the first choice. My longing is mainly paternal transference-related thought there is some ET occasionally, which freaks me out. Mostly, it's that he is older, very kind, calm, intelligent. He has many of the very best qualities from the men in my life, without the less likeable attributes.

he did overtly seductive things like ask me about my boobs for no reason at a random moment, tell me to wear shorts, etc to his office, make sex jokes to me, call me late at night, and then basically telling me he wanted to have sex with me

I'm sorry, Wilson! I'm SORRY!

I chose the first option, because it's the only one that feels even remotely applicable. She didn't do anything specific to make me love her; she was herself and I was myself and we developed mutual feelings of love and attachment. We talk about it often, and both understand the significance of it. Nothing was ever forced, it just happened naturally because of the intimacy of the relationship.

ETA: If I didn't want the intimacy, I could have resisted it. I do not have a particularly intimate relationship with my private therapist, but with my uni therapist it felt right. She wanted to love me and I wanted to be loved by her. That's all.

I am very attached to my MacBook Pro. When the first one died because I threw up on it I was devastated. Fortunately I had insurance, so I got a replacement, and have become equally attached to this one. It is my friend and trusted companion.

All he had to do was be kind and focused on me in ways others in my life have not been. I don't have erotic transference with my t, but I feel a very strong relational attachment and miss him greatly when he goes on vacation.

I picked the first option: it was the situation.
I had no experience of positive attachment; she was consistent, calm and dependable. If I remember correctly my attachment to her took quite a long time (at least several years).

That was with ex long term t. I have seen several other Ts with whom I haven't had the same attachment. Ones prior to long term t I guess I didn't attach because I was frozen and immovable; a couple of other Ts I didn't attach to because they were idiots.
I am not attached to current T - I have only been seeing her a short time and, thanks to long term t, I don't have the inner need to attach in that manner anymore.

Edited to say: My feelings for t have been of the attachment / longing for a motherly figure kind.

I think that my feelings were triggered by him in large part, doing subtly seductive things. For example, he would make a few compliments, sparsely placed in the conversation. Just his general therapist nature when I started and I was depressed and so alone, it's something you want to cling to. Then to ratchet up your desire, if you are an insecure abused person like me, just add confusion to the mix. He will be hot and then cold, always leaving me guessing.

LOL! Right on.

These two sentences largely capture what I went through. The poll shows that a clear majority also felt it was the situation. I was curious about this because in another thread someone insisted that therapy was not inherently seductive.

I understand your point, but to me the situation that triggers loving, warm and/or erotic feelings isn't seductive in and of itself. I don't feel like my therapy situation with the second therapist who was the most ethical one was seductive despite the fact that it evoked strong feelings in me. I felt seduced only in my experiences with other two therapists who didn't behave ethically and who kept sending mixed messages. So, to me there is no seduction if the other person's behavior isn't seductive or confusing, even if the situation itself makes me feel a certain way about them. But, I guess, that's a matter of how one defines seduction for themselves. May be my definition of seduction is slightly different from yours, that's all.

I thought it was a good question and the poll results illustrate your point very well. "Seductive" is an interesting word. I don't disagree that the situation is inherently...conducive to attachment? I'm not sure what word I want here, if not 'seductive.' I guess 'seductive' implies intent to me, or agency. Behavior can be 'seductive,' but can a situation? Is it a 'seductive' situation when you're castaway on an isolated island (literally or metaphorically/emotionally) and bond with the nearest friendly-looking thing?

But whatever--**** it, I won't argue semantics when I agree with the principle of the thing. So, good poll.

That's what I was trying to say. Seduction to me implies an intent, may be not conscious but still an intent, which I associate with the behavior, not the situation. But that is a matter of personal definitions, I think.

I chose the first option, but I see my positive infatuation (nothing sexual) for my T to be attachment-related rather than based on transference. All of my transference thus far has been negative. My T tries to discourage transference simply by how active s/he is in the therapy hour. Don't know if this is what you're looking for since feelings such as you polled apply to what I attribute to attachment, not transference.