Tonight in session I felt unheard and misunderstood. I wondered was it the way I communicate things to t as often she perceives it different to how I am describing. I just have up in the end and cut off contact with her. She asked what was happening and I told her that she didn't understand and wasn't even trying. She said she gets frustrated when I throw all of my toys out of the pram and throw a tantrum and she copied the way I did it, it looked nothing like me and she said I reminded her of a child so then I really gave up.
I was disappointed that I can't see a way forward with her and a part off knows that it's over. When I get mad with my parents they just ignore me, they change the subject and no one ever wants to see me when I get angry and it felt like t can't contain my anger. I told her this was hopeless, she asked me to say I felt hopeless so I said I do in this situation with her. T said she cares about me and wants to try understand me but I felt it was too little too late. I said she wasn't even trying with me only trying to change me. T looked really upset and said she was sorry. I think she knows she messed up but I can't carry her guilt around this. She did mess up and it bloody hurts that she really doesn't help me at times. I would really like her to tell me she can see why I am angry and hurt right now but she didn't, she said but that wouldn't change anything and I said it would because I would feel like you were trying to understand me and hearing me, all of me and not just the parts you want to hear from. I am just feeling really sad right now and please don't blame my t, or bash my t. I think I just need a little kindness and understanding if anyone has any to offer I would be really grateful

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[Waterbear]

It can be so difficult not to feel or to be seen or heard, especially if that is how you are used to feeling. I know I am in therapy to be seen and heard, all of me, just like you. Sorry you aren't finding that right now.

Originally Posted by Waterbear

It can be so difficult not to feel or to be seen or heard, especially if that is how you are used to feeling. I know I am in therapy to be seen and heard, all of me, just like you. Sorry you aren't finding that right now.

I hope you are finding it in your own therapy? If so, how does it feel! I think this is where my healing lies and t thinks differently. Thank you for hearing me

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[Waterbear]

On and off with the new T. I felt it so much with Old T and it was truly healing. It was as if she really understood me, because she listened, put herself in my shoes etc. At the moment I am trying to forget that to be honest and work with new T. I think I am still a little closed to her responses to me and maybe that is why I do not feel it as greatly, or maybe she just isn't as good at that as old T. I don't know. All I know is that it is so very difficult to feel like you don't have a place somewhere.

What happened with your old t that you stopped seeing her? I don't mean to open any old wounds or trigger anything but I am curious as to why you moved to a new t when your relationship with old t sounded very healing

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[Waterbear]

Its OK. She worked for a charity. I started seeing her when I lost my Mum but could not continue because the charity did not fund the long term work we both knew, deep down, was required. I think we were both very sad about that but she has left the door open in case this does not work out with new T. I will never be able to do this work with her but she will always be there for me if I need some help while I find someone who can. But, I believe that this is possible with New T and, when I am able to accept that I can't work with old T, maybe I will see her again just to catch up every once in a while. She said that would be OK. But for now, to see her would be too difficult.

[Out There]

She doesn't seem to " hear " you she shows you what it looks like. I can imagine how that feels. It must be frustrating. I did some work with my T last night that had him sitting forward in his chair along these lines , he gets it. I'm sorry you're not finding it with your T.

[Argonautomobile]

That sounds dreadful, MLS. I'm really sorry this is happening

[rainbow8]

Mona, I'm very sorry you're feeling so sad and frustrated with your therapy. It sounds like you're disappointed too, which is understandable. I hope that you will find a T who understands you better. You do deserve that. I'm not blaming your T. I just think the fit wasn't right.

[1stepatatime]

Sending hugs your way,Mona😊😊😊😊. Take a trip across the pond and let's go to the beach🌴🌴🌴🏊🏊🏊

Originally Posted by Waterbear

Its OK. She worked for a charity. I started seeing her when I lost my Mum but could not continue because the charity did not fund the long term work we both knew, deep down, was required. I think we were both very sad about that but she has left the door open in case this does not work out with new T. I will never be able to do this work with her but she will always be there for me if I need some help while I find someone who can. But, I believe that this is possible with New T and, when I am able to accept that I can't work with old T, maybe I will see her again just to catch up every once in a while. She said that would be OK. But for now, to see her would be too difficult.

I am very sorry that you feel you can't do the work with your new t. It sounds like you and your old t had a very special bond. It sounds like it take a while for you to accept that you can't do the work with old t and perhaps this is preventing you from developing a relationship with new t. It sounds very painful

Originally Posted by Out There

She doesn't seem to " hear " you she shows you what it looks like. I can imagine how that feels. It must be frustrating. I did some work with my T last night that had him sitting forward in his chair along these lines , he gets it. I'm sorry you're not finding it with your T.

Thank you Outhere, I wish my t would try harder sometimes. I need a t to really listen and not contradict me. She really didn't get why I was angry and that's ok it's hard to understand people's emotions and reactions sometimes but I felt she got defensive and blamed me. Anytime I criticise the counselling profession for something that everyone knows is crap she will blame me. Like how are you angering yourself about this Mona!

Originally Posted by Argonautomobile

That sounds dreadful, MLS. I'm really sorry this is happening

Thank you

Originally Posted by rainbow8

Mona, I'm very sorry you're feeling so sad and frustrated with your therapy. It sounds like you're disappointed too, which is understandable. I hope that you will find a T who understands you better. You do deserve that. I'm not blaming your T. I just think the fit wasn't right.

I agree the fit is not right, we will never fit together and that's a great loss for me. Sometimes it feels as though we are from different planets.

Originally Posted by 1stepatatime

Sending hugs your way,Mona. Take a trip across the pond and let's go to the beach

Oh that sounds lovely because it's July, windy and lashing rain here 1step. T would say how am I depressing myself but sometimes the outside environment plays a big part.

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