T tomorrow

have to go to a new T tomorrow...very nervous...very scared....

so much going on lately....dealing with being hospitalized two weeks ago, my fairly brutal SI-ing, going to my for exam and admitting what i'd done to myself, worry about losing my job - which is inevitable, wondering how i will pay my bills, not being able to stop SI-ing....

i'm so tired right now...i barely slept in two days...i think i need sleep now...

i want to hide from the world...

I'm sorry that you are nervous and scared and I can sort of relate to how you might feel. I was in the hospital last year and know I felt really scared when I went back to work. Paranoid that someone would find out why I was in the hospital and scared for my job too. But things went better than I expected and I finally got over it (mostly). It was very embarassing to have been put in the hospital and it took me while to work it out in therapy. I still have " flashbacks" to that time even now but things are better. Hang in there and make sure you share with your new thearpist you feelings of being scared and all. Hopefully they can help you express those feelings and work throught them. We are here for you...get some rest and let the past be the past.

LittleMouse

((((((((((((((((( gostryter ))))))))))))))))))

thanks littlemouse 'n fuzzybear

fuzzy i wanna come crawl 'n your cave and hide!!!!! i'm scared!!!!

i'm thinking of writing a few things down and giving it to him so i can't back out of saying what i need to say....

cause right now i'm feeling like i don't want to talk...

i just want to hurt myself some more...i hate myself

I think its a great idea to write these things down!!
(((((gostryter)))))

Hi Gostryter,
Im glad your hanging in there.Going to T,even after a year,still gets me anxious.I hear ya.Best to try to keep busy so you dont think about it too much.
You sound so much like me sometimes its scary....the self talk and threats to yourself......I find ,if you can,engage in some conversation with a friend,take your dogs for a walk just try not to concentrate on anything but the moment.
Thinking of you,feel free to pm.