I think I'm a stalker...

Ts are people, and each T will react differently. My T told me she felt scared when I confessed that I drove past her house. She kept asking me "what if I would have been out side walking my dog!" She also said I didn't understand that she had feelings about it.

On the other hand, she didn't kick me out or treat me differently. She was curious about why I did it, and I think she accepted my reasons of wanting to know more about her and be closer. She knew I wasn't a stalker.

I had another T whose house I drove by also. She didn't say anything negative to me but when I stopped seeing her she said at the time she wasn't sure if she wanted to keep me as a client.

I don't think I told my first T that I drove by her house. I wasn't seeing her anymore when I started watching her in her office, and I understand her being scared and upset with me when I told her.

Fortunately my other two Ts did therapy in their homes!!!

My T also worked from an office built onto his house. It would take me a long time to pull myself together enough to actually leave so I would be sitting outside in my car. In fact, in the first year or so, I sometimes had to page after an hour or two after the appointment was over as I seemed to get STUCK. After he spoke to me for a minute or two the anxiety would subside and the *paralysis* would go.

Once he drove out, saw me still sitting there and just happily waved goodbye!

As I improved these episodes stopped occurring.

I drove by t1's house once. I believed that I had pushed a boundary and never told T about it. I only did that once. I was too scared that he would take issue with it and I believe that I did no harm.

I have stayed in t1's waiting room and stayed in my car outside his practice when having a bad time after a session. I don't think that is at all stalker-ish. He knew and didn't have a problem with it.

Funny thing: today t1 told me how to get to the house he will be moving into. As in directions from my house to his. I may drive by there and would not hesitate to tell him that.

I've sat in my car in the parking lot for quite a while after a bad session, too. I think that's probably pretty common. My T (and MC's) office is in a strip with other doctor's offices, so it's not like I'm always parked right in front. Pretty sure if either of them saw me, they'd just ignore me (T) or wave/make some sort of joke about me still being there (MC).

I'm freaking out, we have our session tomorrow... I don't know what to say, I don't know where to even start! Im worried 50 mins wont be enough!

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You can do this Loco. You have done nothing wrong. Breath and take your time. I quite often have trouble starting so I try to say it in small bites and sometimes I start in the middle! Eventually all the words come out. And remember, you are not a stalker. Wanting to be close to your T is normal.

Thank you Wheeler, I really appreciate that

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I agree with all of this. Thinking of you, Loco.

Hope it goes well--let us know!

You will feel better after you tell. You're not a criminal! It's just information that will help your T help you better. Good luck today.