Couch 122 - Doin' what we do!

I've been off PC for a week which has been a welcome break. Hope I haven't missed anything important, and hello everyone and hugs to all who want them.

So tired all day at work. Come home to rest then can't fall asleep until the wee hours of the morning. Grrr.

Had to delete and reinstall tapatalk to get back in. Now have to create a username and password I can't forget. Trouble is I forget everything!

Hope you all had a good day!

I helped run a 2 hour long meeting today. So strange having people think of me as a meeting leader. Exhausting though

I can hear Sparky cheering for you, growly.

Haha I was channeling sparky who channels Ted talks and Tony Robbins combined. He really was good at teaching me at least the trappings of confidence and assertiveness.

Spent the day in bed recovering from the physical aftereffects of yesterday's shot. New cat was very solicitous and snuggled up to me. Junior cat strolled in a few times and gave me a look that said, "oh, are you malingering again?"

Got some work done today. Not enough work, but at least it was more than I'd done the previous three days. Had a good session with T this afternoon. Another marathon 12-hour day ahead of me tomorrow.

You sure that look was directed at you and not new cat?

Vent:

its sad, that i am up late at night because of my therapy session.
everything in my life is running smoothly, except a few hiccups last week.
today had been a great day in the morning. i was happy, excited, and motivated. life seemed beautiful once again. i had figured out what i wanted. i felt like i could achieve anything. i had mentally planned what i needed to do this week, to get closer to my goals, to make myself better.
and then my therapy session happens. He forgets the last weeks discussion. even with my cue, he doesnt recall. i need to explain furthur and he catches on.
rest of the session was forced. dragged on. not helpful. he would ask me something, i would answer thinking it would lead to somewhere...but nope...no where...he will ask another question...hmm..okay...i answer as honestly as possible...and it was hard...but hey i am there and he is not supposed to judge.
i got absolutely nothing out of the session.

i am left wondering....that today everything seems well...my family, my frends, my co workers...everything is in place....except my T.

i feel like he doesnt like me for my honesty and thinks i am stupid. he doesnt know what to do with me, yet sees me again and again every week. As long as he is getting paid to sit there..its all good for him.

i read so many posts here that T for so many years...just abruptly ends it. for whatever reason...3 years of work ...4 years of work? just like that ...relationship ends. i read on one of the threads here... that we all think ...that our T is not gonna terminate..or will not turn out sour...or our T is great...and then out of the blue...one day..it hits...omg..my T just did this to me...i thought he was different.

leaving this T is hard. i have shared SO MUCH ! its hard to let go and start again. in a few days...i will blame myself...that this is my fault...i must have done something wrong..or my crisis..was minor..no big deal...thats why he forgot. it happens. i dont deserve any better. i will go back to him, hoping it doesnt happen again. but it will ...and same thing will repeat.

This T forgot to get me from the waiting room . iwaited 20 mins...and went in..he was on his laptop working...
????
he apologized...i was too upset to stay and just left.
i had sworn to myself i will not go back...this clearly shows he simply does NOT care...yet i went back again.

i hope the "new" "strong" invisible can break this off.
not only break it off...but maybe even tell him off in an email ... no way i am paying co pay to do this face2face.

i am gonna go to sleep..cuz my life is good except for my T. i am gonna try to not think about it..and focus on the positive.

Goodnight.

invis, I hope you managed to sleep. Your t seems really out of touch. Maybe he does care but is socially awkward or stunted somehow. I had a t like that in my teens and it was awful. The only thing I can suggest is try telling him in the strongest terms possible that he has hurt you over and over again and you are done with it. I'm guessing that you may be too polite with him so he thinks everything is ok.

If that doesn't do it then sure by all means drop this t.

You are absolutely right. I am too polite with him. I give him benefit of doubt that he means well. I have never been confrontational with him. I have agreed to everything he has said. Never questioned.
I may tell him off in person, but i ll not return again. I dont think i would want his pity session afterwards.

Just figuring out , if being upfront will benefit me or not. I dont want to do it for him.
Right now i am so upset that stepping back into that office feels like disrespecting myself .

I would email him, but he never replies no matter what the content. He does read them though.

Hi couch. I have t today and I'm scared. Scared she's going to hospitalize me. I am safe I just think I may appear unsafe so I hope she doesn't read it wrong and send me inpatient. Though I must say I have worried this before and was never sent inpatient. Just having a really rough few days.

Hang in there butterfly... Hope your session goes well

Good luck

Thank you!

i know its an old record but things are miserable today

Feel free to talk about it here granite.

Talk about whatever you feel like talking about

I've machine washed a lime green sticky-note. Traces of said note cling to the drum of my machine, the otherwise clean clothes, and the dryer lint trap. Fun times.

Awfully quiet on the couch. Well wishes to all!

Look on the bright side - it could have been a $20 bill.

What would you say to someone on a psychotherapy course who dreads practice sessions and feels this might not be the right course for them? I am apprehensive because if you don't like it you could hurt clients, but she may well be seeing clients soon!

I guess I'd ask why she dreads practice sessions - is it being judged? Is it interacting with a client? Does she not like role-play?

And I'd probably ask why she thought this was the right course for her. Is this just a momentary crisis of faith or a real change in outlook?

That's what scares me about schooling. I know I'd be a good T, and my T thinks that as well, so do those close to me. However, role-playing is NOT something I feel comfortable with at all, so that intimidates me some. I do think by the time I get to that point I will have been able to 'dig into' my issues with role-playing and why I don't like it. I already have an idea as to why, but now isn't the time to work on that for myself. Sorry, I miss the couch so I'm awfully rambly.

Isn't the coach for rambling? (Even if you're not rambling, in my opinion)
How do you like the course in general Ellahmae?

LOL Im only comfortable when Im role playing

I think the couch is for rambling.