[Demunie]

So, I was wondering.

When (if at all) did you start talking about sex with your T? Did you bring up the topic? Did he/she? How did it go?

There are some issues I think I should be talking about, as they are affecting my relationship with my bf, but I'm not sure it'd appropriate Even thinking about it makes me really nervous. I'm really uncomfortable around this topic anyway, so even imagining talking with T about this... (even though I do trust him deeply).

Oh well, I was just wondering how your experience was... I'd be glad if you shared

[itjustis]

I was in therapy for 5 months before I raised a sex issue with T. I felt really awkward and embarrassed but she didn't bat an eye!!
After that talking about it didn't bother me as much.
I just imagined I was talking to my best friend, I even told her that lol in fact I think I started with "if I imagine you're my best friend it won't be as awkward." She rolled with it.
I'm sure your T has heard it all before and more. I don't mean to invalidate your issue, I'm just trying to make it seem easier for you to bring it up.
Maybe you could start with something like "I have an issue I need to discuss but I'm really nervous about it." Then hopefully your T will take some of the lead for you.
Good luck!

[WrkNPrgress]

I have a hard time talking about sex in general. I've made passing references to "intimacy" with my ex-partner but ... not so much sex. I'd like to get there but I guess I don't have that as a pressing issue at the moment.

(ETA
I will add that my Therapist made a comment once that gave me a clue as to how it would go if/when the subject did come up. I made a joke about how my phone sometimes wants to grab her name out of my contacts instead of my partners when voice texting (they both start with similar letters). So, I told My T, if she should happen to get an odd text from me about bringing home groceries, or when I'll be home, to ignore it. She laughed and said she had a friend of hers accidently send her "Sexting" text meant for that friend's husband. T used this anecdote as a way to show that she wasn't in any way flustered by other people's sex talk. I should expect any therapist SHOULD be good at talking about sex and be able to make the client feel comfortable - that is basically their job— but it's good to hear how she would handle the subject even in a round about way.

I'm gonna say if your therapist is remotely worth his salt, he'll be fine. Ask for what you need, tell him how you're struggling with it and then it'll be done.

I had a dream, maybe 10 months into seeing current T where I borrowed a book from him called "How to Talk About Sex in Therapy". I took this as my unconscious telling me the time was right, so I told him about the dream and started to discuss it. I've taken it quite slow so there's a lot more to discuss, but we're headed in the right direction. He knows how hard it is for me and never pressures me to talk about anything I'm not comfortable with.

I don't quite remember. I'm pretty sure it was quite a few months into things before we actually talked in terms of my sex life with my husband. Previous to that we had probably talked about sex, but more in terms of my sexual abuse, which was the more pressing matter early on. It was a process.

[Waterbear]

Not yet. Too many issues surrounding the topic for me to even imagine bringing it up. Lots to do before we get there.

[therapyishelping777]

I get anxiety just thinking about talking sex with my T.... my face would probably turn shades .. but I know he would be calm and collect and maybe animated or have some type of analogy. If I needed to I know once I got past the initial step he would be awesome to talk to about it for whatever reason

I once brought it up, about 1-1,5 year in therapy We discussed possible reasons for my lack of libido and the fact that I've never been attracted (either sexual, romantic or aesthetically) to anyone. (possible options: sexual assault at a young age, autism making puberty take place at a higher age, being seriously ill during the time in life most people start to experient, or being asexual)

[LesFleursDuMal]

I waited more than 2 years and a half to talk about it... Still have progress to do

[SoConfused623]

I probably started talking about sex with my T about 2-3 months into our relationship. I was getting out of a serious relationship when we started and one time I said something like, "I still fantasize about M all of the time" and next thing you know she said something about "Masturbation" without even batting an eye! That is a tough word for me to say and even harder to talk about but she made it all seem like we were talking about walking down the street or chewing gum. From then on, we've had lots of conversations about sex and it's been much easier and I feel less weird about it. I really think that any T with experience should be able to handle any sexual conversation just like any other conversation.

Maybe if you can't get the words out, write it down and have her read it the first time and then discuss it. I found that once she said the tough sex words aloud, it was easy for me to say them. Good luck!

[Demunie]

Thx for your answers and your support!
And don't worry, I won't take anything as invalidating or something...

I'm glad others had/have the same problem. I've been working with T for around a year now. Writing it down or refering to it as "intimacy" sounds like a great idea.

It's just that

Possible trigger:

having or even talking about this is such a huge trigger for my SH issues... I guess I'm kind of afraid what he'll think of me? I fairly dislike the questions talking about it'll raise too, especially as I'm not having an answer to them...

[runlola72]

I desperately need to talk about my sex life (or lack thereof) with T, but it is super awkward and extremely tough as there are lots of repercussions from my childhood and as I found out from last week, that topic is too hard for me right now. So I wait.

[jeremiahgirl]

I'm not sure when I began the process, knowing I was new to EMDR it had a process therefore, I just basically spoke about it when it came to my remembrance. Most T's know talking about sex is an uncomfortable topic, I wouldn't push anything just flow, that way there's less stress. If you let them know how you feel before hand it will make things easier.

[nottrustin]

probably 6 years. My sex life wasn't an issue I wanted to discuss with T. However, hubby wanted me to. Never really intended to bring the subject. One day T had planned for us to have a 2 hour session do to issues going on. I was exhausted about 3/4 of the way to and made a bad joke about my lack of sex life. She questioned my comment. We discussed it briefly then tabled it until the next session. At that session we discussed it briefly but I decided I wanted to change the subject. She tried at a few other sessions to bring up the topic but I really didn't engage.

I started very early on with this t. Well on our first session I was telling her my partner had been abused and she then asked straight out if I was abused! So the topic of sex was brought in very early on. I told t that I had feelings for ex t and she asked if I fantasised about her. I started to giggle and squirm and she said its nothing to be ashamed of Mona we all have fantasies. I still couldn't tell her that I fantasise more about her than ex t.
I remember one day ex t asked me if I masterbated and I was taken aback. That's such a huge personal question, of course I didn't answer because I would never ask anyone that. So sex has always come into my therapeutic relationships but I didn't not bring it in first it's always been the t. Sometimes it's difficult talking to t about sex, I don't know why but I get so embarrassed and clam up. I will point to areas rather than say it and t will say it then for example "breasts" !
I am not like that with anyone else only t.

[Lauliza]

I started soon in but used terms like "intimate" or "romantic" because I tend to be shy at first. Not because I have a problem talking about it, because I don't, but because sometimes I'm too open and worry about making others uncomfortable. My t and pdoc both ended up being fairly easy to talk to talk to. Conversations are never graphic but I've asked advice from both.

[kecanoe]

First session. And pdoc asked about "libido" every time I saw him. It really is their job to be ok with talking about sex. If you feel like it is something that needs talking about, I would go ahead and say it. In my experience with other ts it doesn't get any easier by just waiting.

[Bipolarchic14]

AboGou got a year t a year in. We actual joke about my issues, not in a hurtful way.

[bounceback]

Don't worry too much about it. I honestly think it is one of their favorite subjects to talk about even though at times it is humiliating for the client.

I don't remember.... well, beyond it being at some point during the first year. I'm not even sure who brought it up.... probably her... it was a slow process for me to open up about it. It's still not a comfortable topic, but I'm getting there.