Couch 124 - Discussions & more!

Oy! I've been having heart palpitations and feeling winded doing nothing the last couple days. No pain. Think it's just insane family drama stress. Ugh! Scary though especially w/ family history of heart disease and heart attack etc. My chest seriously feels like it might explode any time. Not likely though.

At first she just stood there and told me it was okay she just wanted to make sure I was coherent as she heard the water running. I was in the staff restroom - with the door open. I'm the only one there on that day (no other staff just me and her), and it's a single restroom. I started crying harder and said I wanted to stop and she gently came over and asked if she could turn the water off, I nodded. Then she handed me some paper towels and led me to her office where we talked about what triggered that - and I didn't know. She was very gentle, comforting, and kind. Understanding and we just worked through some things and focused on relaxing and calming down my brain.

Hasn't this happened before? Didn't you go to the ER?

That might still be important. It's a stressful situation anyway, but it might be compounded by ancient unacknowledged pain.

You should have it checked. It might be tachycardia, which isn't necessarily dangerous unless you're a MKAC () and ignore it.

OK My new downstairs neighbour is scaring me a bit. I went away for the weekend and when I got back he seemed distressed and a bit angry and said "What happened to you?" in a demanding way (almost like my ex, but I could be imaginign this) He seemed to be concerned that I went away and left my screen door open. Its just the screen door to the foyer area before my front doors. I feel kind of weird now. I just said I went away for the weekend. He kept going on about it as i went upstairs. He also tied up all the gates again while I was gone.

Is it possible that he was genuinely worried about you?

Why would he be worried? I hardly know him. He has only been here 3 weeks and I only say Hello and goodbye and never spend more than a few minutes listening tohim. And all I do is whinge at him about the garbage bins, gates and stuff. I see him maybe 2-3 times aweek.

I woke up at 4:45 with one of our cats wedged as far under my legs as possible. He accompanied me on my bathroom break, then attempted to trip me on the way back to my room. Now he's purring and sprawling on my belly. His ears are cold, I'm softer than the floor near the heat vent, and I guess Himself deigned to grace me with his presence for the morning.

BCM that's weird. I'd be freaked too!

Yikes. Creepy.

Oct 17 New Yorker has a review of a new bio of Shirley Jackson. I snagged it from ts office. It was too juicy to leave behind. Apparently mine and Art's mom took parenting lessons from Shirleys mom. "Ive just been sitting here this morning, so upset at your appearance" stg like that

Unbelievable. Can you call your bank and tell them you did not approve the charge?

Hmm. I might have to read that. Kind of helps explain "The Lottery" a little.

Morning couchies! I got a very restful night's sleep last night, didn't wake up to write down any dreams or even to go to the bathroom! That's a rare thing. I did some really good work yesterday at my training, follow-up work to what I talked about with t on Wednesday.

Oh, that's out? How awesome! I knew it was coming but didn't know when.

Another reason to live is always good.

Plan to, when I'm sure I have every last thing I still need from her and have taken some other steps for self-protection.

Can't afford to get it checked. I don't feel it right now. It was annoying more than anything else. Sorry went to bed shortly after I posted it kinda hoped I wouldn't wake up but here I am. Anyway, I'm ok right now. Hibernating in my room...avoiding everyone! Family drama is really old almost 3 weeks since grandma passed. Gonna cut all ties with family if it doesn't end soon. Got some plans in the works for that...different state, change my name, start over. See what happens.

Her name was even the same as my moms translated to english. Talk about spooky. I read that, then t came and got me and i tried to erase it from my mind oh and shirley is into occult.

Eta - i am binge watching "wiseguy" on decades tv. Never watched it before. Very interesting cop show. It was written by stephen j cannell, who i think was hill street blues? Interesting to see the progress of his work.

Decades tv - i wonder if I have that? i recently downgraded my cable pkg so i'm still discovering "hey I like such and such channel" wonder if i have that one.

My favorite Shirley Jackson quote, from a book of new material published last year:

“Margaret stood all alone at her first witch-burning. She had on her new blue cap and her sister's shawl, and she stood by herself, waiting. She had long ago given up on finding her sister and brother-in-law in the crowd, and was now content to watch alone. She felt a very pleasant fear and a crying excitement over the burning; she had lived all her life in the country and now, staying with her sister in the city, she was being introduced to the customs of society.”

This is exactly what I needed to see after a few days of stress-eating. Just substitute chocolate peanut butter ice cream for tamales.

ah yes tamales! the tamale festival is coming soon here...

Nobodys ever kidnapped me! and i loooove tamales!

AY and I will stage a kidnapping of you if you like.

By the way, Roman and Spartan brides had to be symbolically kidnapped for the marriage to be legal. Your trivia fact of the day.