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#1
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I love my therapist so much and I wish she was my mum. I've sort of discussed it with her before and I know it's because my real mum didn't meet my needs. Still, I can't help but want more from her than the relationship can give.
I like to think I am special to her too. There are a few reasons I think I might be... if I can't have a session one week she will call or email me to check in, when I couldn't afford to see her she would let me come in for free, she spent a lot of time becoming registered with this organisation to allow me to see her through them and they pay for it (I'm her only client she does this with), she lent me a book, she spent time trying to find a new psychiatrist for me, and sometimes she braids my hair for me (which she doesn't do for any of her other clients), I also once told her that I wished she would adopt me, and she said she would if she could. I don't know if these are things she would do for anyone or if she really likes me. But I know I can't get anything more off her than this and it makes me so sad. Especially because I know she's going to have kids one day and be such an amazing mum. I feel so sad that I met her in this way because our relationship is so limited. I wish I had met her some other way so that she could have been a friend or mentor to me. I guess this is pretty common? Was just wondering if other people feel the same or have any idea how to deal with it. |
![]() Ankh91, Cinnamon_Stick, growlycat, kecanoe, mostlylurking, precaryous, therapyishelping777
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#2
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Give therapy time.what you need from T changes. The intensity and impossibly changes.
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![]() kecanoe, mostlylurking
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#3
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I think it is great that you feel a connection with your T and feel safe and supported, that is important when working through tough issues. I just want you to be careful though because although it feels amazing to have someone fill that longing for a mother, your T is not ethically going to be able to do this and I am concerned by reading about your T doing your hair as the beginning of a slippery slope that could lead to you getting hurt.
I to have had these feelings and as much as it hurt to have my T tell me that they could not fill this role I now understand that by having t try and fill the role I was not working through my need, I was just prolonging it and keeping it in the unrealistic realm. I know how much it hurts to be abandoned by someone who says and does everything you want and need only to change and I don't want that to happen to you. Your T needs to have boundaries and I'm concerned that your T is lacking in this vital skill. So just take care |
![]() 1stepatatime, bounceback
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#4
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Quote:
I agree with Teddy just be careful. She could decide in a heartbeat to stop seeing u. It happened to me 2 times. I was hurt and devastated. It took years to get over. |
#5
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I think talking to your t about what you are feeling and experiencing might be a good idea. She should know how her actions affect you. Talking to her about this will hopefully help clear up any confusion you have. Also ask her questions about anything you feel you need an answer to.
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![]() therapyishelping777
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#6
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Therapy can be very seductive. Especially when a therapist does anything to make a client feel special or singled out. I think it's important to try to visualize where it's going and whether it can possibly end well. Therapy is supposed to be a means to an end. Sometimes it's more like a trap and an end in itself.
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#7
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It is quite common to feel love for your t and to wish that your relationship was more like a friend or family member. And it is quite common to look for evidence that you are special to your t. And it is quite common to feel hurt/sad that it can't be "more".
Some people will tell you that it is all part of the process and others will tell you to run for the hills. I don't know which is the best advice as I am still in the midst of that kind of relationship with T1. I just wanted to let you know that your experience is common. |
![]() mostlylurking, precaryous, rainbow8
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