is there a point?

All we have been able to do is crisis management because my life is in constant crisis. i asked him last time if in the 6 months that he has known me if there was a week in which there had not been some sort of crisis and he smiled and said that no, none really jumped out. And it's true. Not emotional meltdowns, although they are a side effect, but real crisis around me. Fact of my current existence. Unless i find a way to deal with that, and i have none, then that's what my sessions will be.

So then... i have to ask myself... is there a point to paying $140/hr to just put out fires every week? Sure, it feels a bit better, but is it effecting real change in my life? Nope. It can't.

i am really wondering about discontinuing temporarily... begin again if and when the rest of my life changes. i hate the thought at the same time... he is an anchor for me. Would i drift? Would the fires in fact be worse?

i am so confused.

It's hard to make real changes in yourself when so much of your energy is going toward putting out fires. That doesn't mean life will always be that way for you, or that there's no value in having support through your crises and learning new ways of dealing with them.

It sounds like you're disheartened, discouraged and feeling a little hopeless things will change for you? I think 6 months is not long, that we all go through rough patches in our lives, and that it won't always be that way, although it may seem like it.

So sorry you're feeling down, Gerber. Gentle hugs, if okay.

The first nine years I was in therapy with my therapist I realized later in life was just for "support" and didn't really "do" anything besides help me form a base. I would think that learning good crisis management skills and knowing there is support, would be worth a great deal to me. For me, a lot of crises occurred because I wasn't very good at avoiding them or they weren't quite as hard as they seemed to me. Not everyone responds to crises the same way and/or has as difficult a time with them as others might? I'd use the crises to perfect my responses to events that occur in my life and be grateful for the support of having someone around to bounce things off of/witness my struggles with compassion/caring.

been with this T for 6 months, 6 months with another one before that... and before that a year and a half of living nightmare. The constant crisis now is bad, but that was much much worse. So, in a sense it has been all going on longer than i made it sound at first.

6 months in T is not a long time and i know that.... even though i am always afraid he is going to kick me out because it's taking too long.i just have great concerns over money issues right now.. HUGE concerns... and so i have to take a harder look at what i am paying for.

i don't know. Sometimes i feel like the guy is the best expediture i could have, but i have to be objective... that's part of growth too... right?

there are so many things to juggle... *sigh