Scared my T might change

After reading so much on here lately about T's changing, I'm scared that mine will someday too. I feel bad for even worrying about this, because she is so amazing in every way and I can't imagine her doing some of the things you guys have had your T's do. But I bet in the beginning you couldn't imagine your T doing that either. I don't know what I would do if my T turned mean or changed rules on out of session contact or started to act differently. I don't think anything like that will happen, but what if it does? How will I cope? Right now the only thing I can think of that I'd do if something like that happened is not something that's good. I would be completely devastated and lose all hope. I really don't think she would change, but the idea of her burning out or getting sick of me scares me to death. How do I deal with these worries? I know worrying won't help, but I can't help it that I am. And I can't talk to my T about this, because I don't want her to know I'm worried she would ever do this. I think it would be insulting and rude. And right now she's totally wonderful and has given no sign that she would ever do something bad. But what if years down the road something changes? What do I do?

I think you try to get as well as possible now so that you'll be able to deal with that should it happen.

I have been feeling very similar and am afraid that I have no answers. The only thing I think that I can do for myself to try to help is to stop using this site. Honestly, I have had the discussion with my T and she didn't say that she wouldn't. I am glad about that because she should never promise something that she cannot predict but it leaves doubt that is only intensified by reading on here.

I have started an email which I was planning on reading her tomorrow and in it is this issue, again. I am unsure whether to share it or not or whether I should just focus on what we have right now, possibly stopping using PC for a while.

I wish you well.

I just wanted to say that my therapist has not changed. So there's at least one positive to hopefully demonstrate that not all of them change for the worst. I've been seeing her for almost two years. I wish you continued success with your T!

My therapist has not changed in the 4.5 years I've been seeing her. I felt the same way, now I hold on to her words promising me she won't. And realizing if she ever went back on her word, it speaks to to her credibility and integerity not on me.

T1 has gone 9 years without changing. Well, he has changed but not in horrible ways. Over the years we have renegotiated out of session contact but it has always been a negotiation and it has always been ok.

T2 has gone 5 years without changing. I am now cutting back sessions with her. She is pleased that I am able to cut back. I suspect there is part of her that doesn't like it, but she is too professional to show it.

I'm sorry you feel this way. But it's understandable given all the horror stories we see on this forum. I can't exactly tell you that my T hasn't changed because well she HAS. She went from being caring and compassionate to being punitive and righteous. I think she also reached her limit as I'm not exactly an easy client. But there are therapists who don't change, there are therapists who practice self-care and don't suffer compassion fatigue. Your therapist may be one of those, I hope she is. Can you ask her perhaps?

I talked with my T a bit about this today, about her realising that she may have made a mistake working with me, about my stuff being too much for her etc. She listened to my stories of the Ts I saw when I was searching and really understood how they must have had an effect on my trust of this process.

She said, quite clearly, that she hadn't made a mistake, T that she knows why she is doing this and believes in it, is quite clear in herself about where she is coming from and has a supervisor who supports her in this.

Very early on we discussed the amount of outside contact we would have and I put forth several situations that may or may not arise over time. I asked what would happen if I emailed every day or text every day etc and she said that this would be too much. It hurt me at the time because I heard that 'I' would be too much but it sunk in and actually I realised that this was more about my T being hibet with me about what she could take. If what I did was too much then it wasn't my fault as such, rather that she was not 'up to the job'. This was a great revelation.

I guess the upshot if it is that the hard discussions are the Ines that are needed, to keep everything in the open. For me, when things are left unsaid, the doubt and negativity creeps in and will sit festering, building, affecting me and then ultimately my relationship with T. If I talk about it with her we can actually see where the other is coming from.

I am very lucky that T always says she will be honest with me, even if she thinks that what she has to say will be hard for me to hear. For now, I believe her.

Been with my T 6 years..he hasn't changed...well...he grew a beard.

My new T. hasn't changed in over a year. I think you still need to talk to her about it. She will completely understand. perhaps you're more scared that she can't promise she won't change? That's how I would feel and I asked my T. many many times to make sure she really won't.