[dancinglady]

I need some support. I got really triggered today. Brought up huge painful memories that made me cry. It was about being vulnerable to a professional and then they used the information to destroy me. I guess I have not resolved it but I guess all the years in additional therapy did not take care of it. I would never be that vulnerable again to another professional. I just have to let it go but some days it is much harder to do. All I say again be careful with professionals they have their own baggage and agenda.

Looking for support here? Everyone here has baggage. It's the risk we take. Here or with professionals.

[jeremiahgirl]

Originally Posted by _Mouse

Looking for support here? Everyone here has baggage. It's the risk we take. Here or with professionals.

True...good point ☝️

[Argonautomobile]

I'm sorry you're hurting, dancinglady. I hope you find some relief soon.

[here today]

Originally Posted by dancinglady

I need some support. I got really triggered today. Brought up huge painful memories that made me cry. It was about being vulnerable to a professional and then they used the information to destroy me. I guess I have not resolved it but I guess all the years in additional therapy did not take care of it. I would never be that vulnerable again to another professional. I just have to let it go but some days it is much harder to do. All I say again be careful with professionals they have their own baggage and agenda.

I'm so very, very sorry that this happened to you and remains unresolved.

I do not think that people who say "It's a risk we take" can understand the level of vulnerability and the destructiveness this kind of thing can have on people who didn't have a solid sense of self going into therapy.

It is not realistic to expect that (already damaged) people can understand the risk going into therapy. Thanks for posting about your experience, dancinglady. Maybe some other people can learn from it. Maybe the therapy profession can too, eventually.

[BudFox]

Originally Posted by dancinglady

I would never be that vulnerable again to another professional.

Nor would I. Seemed like a good idea at the time. Now it looks positively insane.

[itisnt]

I'm sorry that it was so painful for you, dancinglady. Personally, I think it takes a LOT of courage to do what you did. Does that make it easier or less stressful, absolutely not! I often think that people who have no trouble or concern about releasing personally painful information to a T have no idea . .. .no real concept of the degree of pain and anguish that someone goes through when they open up and get honest about their personal pain. A lot of people have no trouble just dumping out their issues to others (whether that is a therapist, a friend, a family member or whatever). You took a chance and you were brave. I'm sorry the professional you talked to wasn't mature enough, trained enough, compassionate enough, intelligent enough or empathetic enough to handle the information you revealed to him/her. I'm sorry that others here might not have been mature enough, compassionate enough, aware enough or empathetic enough to have extended you the support and care you might have wanted on the forum! Sad

[missbella]

I certainly never had a psych provider mention, much less explain possible risks of therapy, and I've run across very little consumer-oriented literature from them about risks or evaluating harm.

Instead they encouraged me to surrender my judgment completely and treat them as infallible shamans. I believe I would suffered much less damage had the relationships been more realistic. Each truly was a folie à deux.

[BudFox]

Originally Posted by _Mouse

Looking for support here? Everyone here has baggage. It's the risk we take. Here or with professionals.

One of the selling points of therapy is that therapists have sorted their baggage sufficiently to keep from using the client. I don't believe this, but it's what they promote. If it turns out not to be true, and the therapist gave no disclaimer up front, that would be fundamentally dishonest.

Originally Posted by BudFox

One of the selling points of therapy is that therapists have sorted their baggage sufficiently to keep from using the client. I don't believe this, but it's what they promote. If it turns out not to be true, and the therapist gave no disclaimer up front, that would be fundamentally dishonest.

I don't believe I have ever heard of a t who doesn't have baggage or has fully sorted it out. I don't think they promote it that they have their baggage sorted out because how could that ever be through. Life is ever changing, we leave some baggage behind and when we move on we collect more along the way. Therapists are human too, they are flawed and come with baggage, to say that you have worked through yours would be a lie and how could it be measured? It's a work in process, never finished and never ending. I agree it should come with a disclaimer. They are human and they will make mistakes.

[virgill]

Originally Posted by dancinglady

I need some support. I got really triggered today. Brought up huge painful memories that made me cry. It was about being vulnerable to a professional and then they used the information to destroy me. I guess I have not resolved it but I guess all the years in additional therapy did not take care of it. I would never be that vulnerable again to another professional. I just have to let it go but some days it is much harder to do. All I say again be careful with professionals they have their own baggage and agenda.

I am sorry for your pain. I wish I could offer some advice but I cant. I have been hurt really deeply by a T and it doesn't completely heal. I have spoken to another therapist and filed a complaint. The therapist helped a bit, the complaint did not. What hás helped is accepting this pain, sadness, hurt and anger. These feelings keep popping up, just now I was watching girl interrupted and started crying when Winona Ryder spoke to her shrink, the other day a shop lady reminded me of her and I teared up. Anyway accepting that I feelings this way has made me feel better and has cut down the shame for having "allowed" myself to feel that hurt, angry and sad. I hope you will be able to be vulnarable and trust again I think it is neccesary for any kind of recovery

[missbella]

I was most helped by examining the ways my therapists' gained their dominance over me and the illusion they actually possessed some mastery I lacked. The signals and manipulation was subtle (as they are in most human relationships.)

Though the truth was painful and jolting, it was necessary for my self-preservation. I felt like a fool for being so fooled.

I've changed my concept of trust now. I (hope I) no longer completely surrender my judgment to ascribed experts. I gather as much information as possible on my own and refused to be awed because of someone's accreditation or title.

I think being vulnerable in therapy is not a good idea. I think clients often get lulled into a false sense of security that the therapist actually cares beyond what is required by their professional role and many of them are extremely unprofessional and have no idea the harm they cause to clients. I think if you feel you have to go to therapy then never, ever fully trust a therapist. They don't care as much about you as you do about them, in general.

[here today]

Originally Posted by puzzle_bug1987

I think being vulnerable in therapy is not a good idea. I think clients often get lulled into a false sense of security that the therapist actually cares beyond what is required by their professional role and many of them are extremely unprofessional and have no idea the harm they cause to clients. I think if you feel you have to go to therapy then never, ever fully trust a therapist. They don't care as much about you as you do about them, in general.

It would have helped in my last therapy if that warning had been part of the disclosure. I'm careful in other business relationships, but in therapy I feel like my willingness to hope and believe "the best" about the therapist definitely got me in trouble.

[missbella]

I didn't logically think how many limits there were to what the therapist knew about me. In fact they only saw me in present constrained circumstances. They didn't see me function at work, interact with a peer or manager, know what my rooms looked like. They couldn't know my past better than the description I provided. They sometimes pretended that "causes" were knowable and that knowing them would release me from the past like a steam kettle.

They had no magical transformation wand. They never said changes would be my own rearrangements or that seeing through people's acts,including theirs, would be a big part of change.

Neither they nor I were rational.