[FloweringHope]

My T sleeps with me - I can't break free, what's the point - nothing I can do to be free.......................

[pachyderm]

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SleepingSacredRose said:
My T sleeps with me - I can't break free, what's the point - nothing I can do to be free.......................

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Well. Now you have to explain whether this is literally true, or not...

[FloweringHope]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
pachyderm said:
</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
SleepingSacredRose said:
My T sleeps with me - I can't break free, what's the point - nothing I can do to be free.......................

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Well. Now you have to explain whether this is literally true, or not...

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

This is exactly why clients/patients don't report sexual abuse by their T - it's a 'as if' phenomenon

My T told me plainly: "I have written down all that you have said, if you report me, I'll say it was your fantasy, not what actually happened!"

You certainly have no understanding of this issue!

GET over yourself - I don't give a RAT what you think - hope one day when a situation occurs to you that is devastating and painful beyond measure - someone doubts you! MAY WAKE YOU UP TP REALITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DISAPPOINTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 <font color="blue"> </font>

[april15]

Ummm, when I read your post, I too wondered if you meant it figuratively or literally. It's an honest mistake and there is no need to bash someone over it.

After all, it is so shocking that a therapist could do something like that. Asking for clarification is not the same as not believing you.

[FloweringHope]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
april15 said:
Ummm, when I read your post, I too wondered if you meant it figuratively or literally. It's an honest mistake and there is no need to bash someone over it.

After all, it is so shocking that a therapist could do something like that. Asking for clarification is not the same as not believing you.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I made a statement NOT a reference to a figure of speech!!! I don't have to justify myself to you or anyone! I'm trying to deal with this the best way I know how! I am so very angry......

On a another note: I did NOT BASH someone for it - check your semantics! I read what he said 'AS to doubt me' - you're not in this situation, so of course your PERCEPTION AND THE WAY YOU WILL READ SOMETHING WILL BE DIFFERENT!

<font color="red"> </font>

[MyBestKids2]

(((((SleepingSacredRose)))))))

sending kind gentle safe thoughts your way



Dee

[FloweringHope]

Thanks so much, mybestkids2!

I feel I'm in a crowded room screaming - no one can hear me! I feel angry and so very lost inside - I would never mean to hurt anyones feelings!

I NEED HELP

do you feel like you might hurt yourself?

[FloweringHope]

Last night I was really bad - I abused alcohol and took a few sleeping tablets - I did feel like overdosing last night - felt like dying - but I do feel better this morning!

I feel a bit up in the air, one moment I am good, next confused and anxious - don't understand - I thought I was coping ok!

thanks for caring!

[MissCharlotte]

(((SSR)))

Can you call another therapist? It may be the way to begin release this burden.

Take gentle care.

[FloweringHope]

I do have a list of psychiatrists in my area, but I don't know if I would trust anyone!

Have cancelled my next appoint via answering machine, switched off my mobile and thrown away my pager...

I should try and find a good female T - it's just having the time and energy to do so!

Thanks for your advice!

SSR

[recluse1]

(((((((((sacredrose))))))))) i am so sorry that this has happened to you. i couldn't begin to imagine the devastation or the impact this has had on you. i hope you will soon find another T that you can talk to. and i would report this SOB regardless of his threat. there are probably other patients going thru the same thing and will be more when you're gone i'm sure. one person can make a difference, you can be that one.

sending healing thoughts your way
recluse1

[kimmydawn]

((((((((((( gentle hugs )))))))))))))

i'm so very sorry this has happened.

yes, please get with another t and consider reporting.

i'll try to keep a long story short. i was abused by a physician (anesthesiologist). i did report it. the police just took the report and did nothing with it. there was no physical evidence in that sense and it was my word against his...they didn't think to send me for bloodwork to see if he drugged me as I suspect...

anyhow, come to find out that because my report was on file, they took the second, third and certainly fourth more seriously. he was doing this alot. they got him and he was stripped of his medical license, criminally prosecuted and civilly prosecuted (not by me though i still could).

you may be somewhere in that important chain of getting him away from a position to hurt people.

i understand completely if that's beyond your thinking in the moment because i couldn't press at first and it was a while before i was able to close this out. still yet, because of the report, he was no longer able to hurt people using authority.

please get help for yourself first, hon, then consider making him account for the harm he's done as you can.

you're in my thoughts,

kd

[FloweringHope]

Dear Recluse1, and Kimmydawn,

Thank you for understanding me - I need that, someone who will listen, care and not judge me!

I feel guilty in many ways, yet angry and confused - one minute I'm fine, next I cry; then feel anxious. I seem to be going along well for a while, then all of a sudden I hit rock bottom.

Originally went to see this T because of a traumatic experience at work that I was exposed to - required by the establishment. He did not start all of the sexual stuff until payments had finished.

I guess I don't know if it's just the sex or the emotional side of things that harmed me the most. My seasons went from 50 - 90 minutes each week - can't remember what happened within some sessions, just his face and chair in different positions around the room - very weird!!!

He also believed in 'temple sex - goddess worship' which he was trying to get me to be part of (this is the nicest and most polite way of saying this!).

Reporting, I have given his name to the board - but they want me to place it in writing (in case there have been any other complaints, or any in the future - which is what you both are saying to me).

There is also for me to consider other aspects! I just changed universities to escape any daily encounters - so this will hopefully help!

my heart to you both - thanks for listening

SSR

[FloweringHope]

Kimmydawn,

So very sorry that you were abused by an anesthesiologist - can't begin to know how you would have felt!

How long did it take to get over that?

SSR

[InACorner]

i am so sorry for you (((((((((((sleepingsacredrose)))))))))
i have no words to express to you for my deep sorrow for you...you have every right to be angerier than angry...sadder than sad....i wish i could be there for you ..this may sound weird but perhaps instead of seeking a counciler at this moment seek someone you admire respectably..someone like a friend, or religious leader or a community elder or family member that you can go to? Perhaps give yourself some time away from the whole therapist thing...even just a few weeks...and talk to them about the experience and how you felt and how you feel...because if your so upset right now with therapists and you rush into one...even if its a female....you might have a rush of feelings that you cannot handle at that particluar moment...i dont know if im saying anything concrete...but i dont want you to have to worry about going from therapist to therapist in this most upsetting time for you....i hope i have shed some thought for you...if not thats fine hope i just helped you feel alittle better by knowing that you have someone (actually all of pc not just me hehe) that care about you and want the best for you ((((((((many safe safe gentle hugs..or handshakes if that makes you feel better))))))))
love, inny

[kimmydawn]

Well, back then (8 yrs ago) I was a heavy dissociator. I'd put it away in my memory and had no access to it.

When it *came out*, I was shocked and upset. I had to search three police stations to find the report, etc. I had to prove to myself that what I was remembering was accurate.

When I did prove it, I did further investigation and found that he'd been prosecuted heavily and would no long hurt anyone as a doctor...so I guess I got the bad with the good all at once in this one.

Knowing that I was believed SOMEWHERE, and that something was done on my behalf helped me to heal very quickly once I was over the shock of it.

Prosecution, and ppl believing, helps so much in healing...in our time.

KD

[FloweringHope]

Dearest InACorner,

Thanks for your insight and pearls of wisdom - actully considering attending a church near by - must check it out first b4 I leap in head first!

I guess I'm worried in some respects - I'm trying to keep myself together so I can complete my thesis - hard task when I have these conflicting emotions going on!

To know I have wonderful, caring and insightful plp on Psych Central, greatly eases my pain - I feel safe to talk here, as I am in my OWN familiar surroundings.....and no risk of sexual misgivings!

A hugg* back to you - thanks again!

SSR

[FloweringHope]

Dearest kimmydawn,

What's a 'diassociator?'

I could not begin to feel what pain and torment you went through - how you ever got over it is beyond me!

Yes, the fact I feel BELIEVED helps me greatly! I value being listened to, but I also listen and take advice as well - I have a lot to learn and change!

You have a caring and thoughtful disposition, I appreciate greatly!

SSR

[MissCharlotte]

((Sleepingsacredrose))

((Kimmydawn))

Well,

I hadn't thought of this in a while, but after reading Kimmydawn's post I thought of a time when i was pregnant with my first son and a dentist tried to abuse me. I guess that's abuse in and of itself. I pushed him away and he left the room, so nothing really happened.

I panicked and left the office and put it out of my mind, but not until I told my husband what had happened. I felt like I was making it up, becaue it happened so quickly.

About 6 months later he was in the newspaper, having been arrested for abuse of patients. He was prosecuted by the district attorney.

I felt so validated because I now knew I wasn't making this up.

I hope you can find a place or a person who you feel safe talking to. Do you belong to a church? Is there a rape/counseling/crisis center near you? What about a hot line? Just so you can begin to talk this through...

[FloweringHope]

Dearest Sister,

That's terrible what occurred!

I'm considering attending a main line church - a place to socialise and maybe, If I can trust someone, help as well!

I left my previous university, as to not be with him everyday and my supervisor kept equating our relationship to that in T - felt very uncomfortable.

My family are very loving and caring, but my mum just had surgery for bowel cancer (my dad fied 14 yrs previous), my niece just had twins (my sister is busy there), and my brother is almost ready to leave for a conference in the states. I can't really bother them with my problems at the moment!

Thanks for your message!

[OliviaC]

(((((((SleepingSacredRose)))))))

I am so sorry this has happened to you! I gather you are not in the US.....there is an organization that has a website which is for victims of exploitation such as you, exactly, although it is for women in the US; however I am pasting in a link to their "resources" page which could possibly give you some avenues to research in your own country. The link is called Therapy Exploitation Link Line, or "TELL", and here is the url:

http://www.therapyabuse.org/resources.htm

If I am wrong to post a link, well the mods or admins feel free to remove it; however, this woman needs some help!

Keep in touch, Rose, we care.

Olivia

[FloweringHope]

From this situation, I have developed an eating problem!!!

How can I deal with it? I feel out of control in my life. When I eat, I feel I have some power back!

DON'T WANT FOOD TO GOVERN MY LIFE!

[OliviaC]

SSR,

See my post above! Get in contact with a good attorney, or use some of the resources on the link I posted.

Olivia

[FloweringHope]

Dearest Olivia ,

Just read your two posts - thanks for your support! Just went to the URL as well, that is awesome!!!!

I feel very scared to go the next step - my T made it clear to me: 'boys look after their own, your verbal word against my written notes and your fantasies!' This T is very high up, in a position of importance, I am but a university student.

What hurts even more, is that I was MADE to see him to get paid for work - not only have I suffered PTSS from the work event, now I feel hopeless, sad, regretful and left thinking; "what the hell does all life matter anyway!"

Thanks again for being a listening ear!