Couch 127: The Wayward Couch

At least he's not pretending to apologise.

Thats what i was gonna say.

He missed the lesson where we learn we don't have to say everything we feel out loud

no, that isn't it at all. i haven't seen either one of them for two months.

it is more about the fact that we haven't hung out much lately, and that apparently we only hang out when it is convenient for me, but not caring about their interests as much. He has a point, though i think he over-reacted today.

but whatever. this is going to be a long effing weekend.

A lake effect snow band has set itself up in our area, started yesterday not supposed to end until tomorrow evening. People are measuring snow in feet. Kids had a snow day today and will probably have one tomorrow too. I have baked (and eaten) way too much this week to keep myself and the kids occupied. I may just go crazy if the kids to indeed have to stay home again tomorrow!!

im sad and weird and sleepy. and my mouth is dry

I'm still looking. I just thought that SMART did not hold actual meetings I could be wrong

Hugs! Here to listen

i'm extremely sad right now. always weird. not sleepy (even though i should be) mouth is not dry due to alcohol.

Yeah!!!!

Hugs hugs hugs.

I start off on my one hour commute to see T soon.

It'll be my first session of the year, and the first after my holiday with my partner in Norway.

I hope my session goes well because I'm feeling disconnected and like I've "used up her quota of care for me".

If I fall asleep right now I'll get 3.5 hours for the night. Wtf brain, get with the lights-out program!! I'm watching YouTube videos of pixie cuts and I want one, but I'm too shy/fat/old/ugly to get one. So then I'm reading blogs where women of all weights are rocking short hair. Instead of feeling empowered I'm feeling ashamed of myself for being weak and shallow. Grrrr.

i just want you to know that none of this is true . you would tell me this is more about him .so im saying the same to you. you are amazing and caring ,insightful , helpful,and very genuine . you say it as you see it . clearly this person seems to be quite intimidated by you. seems very insecure to me . love you bunches and you dont need to take this on

yesterday at work i was standing by the self checkout register. my main manager walked by... he said cheer up junkDNA...it's ok. he said "its ok" in like this weird caring voice. it was weird because ive never heard him speak like that before...especially to me. i have a tumultuous relationship with this manager, which is mostly in my own mind. he called me needy one time which i DID NOT like. ever since then ive hated him... i dont think he dislikes me , i think ive created this negative relationship in my mind once again. he jokes around with me, and has even done very nice things for me.

anyway, him saying "its ok" was strange to me but it felt good...like...wow someone actually notices i am not doing well. that both comforts me, and freaks me the F out. because if i can't hide my mental illness at work...then to me that means i am not doing a very good job of getting a grip on it.

what was strange to me as well was that i didnt think i looked overtly depressed...but you never know. maybe he had been watching me or something

I went to Al-Anon meetings for years and found them really, really helpful! There are all types of meetings, some are just open discussion groups where the steps are only discussed in depth once a month (for instance, on the first or last meeting of the month.) There are also groups for adults children of Alcoholics which I found very helpful. If you don't really like the steps and step meetings, look for the codes that say OD for open discussion and also AC for adult children of Alcoholics. You could also go to Closed Discussion (CD) groups since you have someone in your life whose drinking bothers you.

I have found Al-Anon to be completely open and welcoming to newcomers. I've met so many amazing strong people through Al-Anon and it pretty much has shaped who I am today. For instance, I no longer worry about anything that I can't control including an alcoholic or any unwanted presence, circumstance or person in my life.

Please feel free to p.m. me with any specific questions and good luck finding and getting what you need!

morning couch! i got to sleep in this morning, which was nice. at work they offered the 15 of us on this special project to "slide" our schedules later, because we get a majority of our calls later in the day. so today i'm working 9-8. Still 2 hours overtime, but i didn't have to get up at 5:30! so that was nice. And they changed my sunday overtime to be only 4 hours instead of 8, so i'm glad of that, too. and i'm ready to see t tomorrow - and ready to be assertive about taking a break. she is not going to talk me out of it this time! go Art!!

On the t note also: i had a dream about her last night, she came to my house (that wasn't my house) and my Dad was still alive and was there, my Mother, my brother and my son. t was talking with them and taking notes. When she got there I decided I needed to take a shower and wouldn't come out until she left, said "hi" and "goodbye" through the bathroom door.

Weird! Have a good day couchies and hugs to those who want!

I'm in the er....something is wrong with my hand. I'm pretty triggered bc last time I was here I was handcuffed and ankle cuffed with police watching me

Hugs, Junk. Hope they can see you quickly and that it's nothing serious. Could you text your T to deal with the triggering?

Yeh I texted him, we talked some. Dr said it's inflammation but I don't agree. By the time he came to see me I was so freaked out..I didn't say much to him. So it's kinda my fault. I woke up in excruciating pain in my hand, numb and tingling, can't move it how I want to. He gave me naprocin. I just wanted to get out of there...I tried.to leave twice but they talked me into waiting more

Thank you so much for this information!! Yes I might pm you after I try a meeting. I don't understand all of the acronyms What is the difference between open and closed discussions for example?

Open meetings are for ANYONE, including the media, doctors, social workers and alcoholics etc...although most of those folks would never go, they could go. A closed meeting is only for people whose lives have been negatively impacted by someone's drinking.

My ex husband was a self admitted alcoholic and my Father's drinking was excessive and problematic to me, but he never gave himself the label so I could never call him that. Most people in Al-Anon will be careful not to assign labels to others..at least that is what I found. If it's your Mom's drinking that bothers you, I would look for a meeting with "ac" in the title which stands for " Adult Child" of an alcoholic.

I'm happy to answer any other questions you may have.

Lake effects snow in Texas? Who knew?

I know right?? They let us out of work early and I thought they were being pussies about a bit of snow. I lived in both Boston and Minneapolis so I found this all amusing. Until I realized that they have nothing to salt the roads with and a pothole took out the front panel of my car. Ugh

It is getting ready to snow like crazy where I live and everyone is losing their s*** & buying all the bread and milk available.