[nottrustin]

How do you know what topics to discuss in a session? 2 weeks ago we discussed some deep issues. It brought up lots of thoughts and questions. We were supposed to discuss it last week but she was sick so we cancelled. The easy answer would be to continue where we left off. But between the holidays and all that brings as well as dealing with the uncertainty of her continuing to work abandonment issues are really becoming a problem. One hour will not be enough and part of her changes is sure will imply be withing 1 day a week. Appointment in 1 1/2 hour...

[skeksi]

It helps me to ask myself, "what will I be upset about not mentioning at the end of the session?" That usually guides me to what I find most pressing. I have also sometimes made myself a prioritized mental list, like "must discuss #1, hope to get to #2, and #3 if there's time or I will wait until next session."

[Elio]

I typically go in with a list and I sit there at the beginning of the session looking at the list and making decisions on comfort level and readiness level and like Skeksi said, what must I talk about to feel OKish when I leave the session. I just go with my gut in those moments.

With my next session though, I am thinking of asking her where she'd like to begin. We've talked about me needing that from time to time though I haven't actually done it yet. The closest we have gotten to was me listing out topics and having her pick which one to start with.

[nottrustin]

***trigger warning*****

I ended up going in and talking about my holidays. And then talking about my kids, avoiding anything really stressful. I really regret it now the last few sessions I have discussed frequent passive SU thoughts. I really should have brought it up tonight but didn't which makes matters worse because of feeling like a failure.

[Elio]

My t says there are no right or wrong things to talk about and sometimes it is good to just float. Take care of yourself. When do you see your t again?

[LonesomeTonight]

Sometimes, for my T, I have a list, other times, just talk about what's on my mind. If there's something I definitely want to bring up, helps to have it written down. I also pay attention to the time, and if there's something I want to discuss, try to bring it up by the 30-minute point.

With marriage counselor, it's generally pretty free-form, like recapping the past week. Though I do try to think of things beforehand that I might want to bring up. If H and I had a big fight or some other issue, then that's an obvious topic (though sometimes H doesn't seem to remember fights, so it's up to me...)

How did your session go?

[nottrustin]

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

Sometimes, for my T, I have a list, other times, just talk about what's on my mind. If there's something I definitely want to bring up, helps to have it written down. I also pay attention to the time, and if there's something I want to discuss, try to bring it up by the 30-minute point.

With marriage counselor, it's generally pretty free-form, like recapping the past week. Though I do try to think of things beforehand that I might want to bring up. If H and I had a big fight or some other issue, then that's an obvious topic (though sometimes H doesn't seem to remember fights, so it's up to me...)

How did your session go?

It went okay. Didn't bring up some things I should have.

[ScarletPimpernel]

Can you email? I email my T on the week I don't see her. Mostly it's just what happened during the week and seeking reassurance and encouragement, but sometimes I include things I want to talk about. When I go into session, somehow we always find a quick topic to talk about, and then it's the dreaded "So what do you want to talk about?" If it weren't for the email, I'd be stuck with "I don't know". So she usually pulls up my email from her phone, goes through the topics, and I pick one. We don't talk about them all, but it lets her know what I'm dealing with, and she can get a feel for what's more important.

However, with us, she tends to ignore most of the SUI stuff. I guess because it's been there for so long, and I'm not usually in a crisis. So hopefully if you do need help with your SUI things, your T will put those concerns first.

And if you can't do email: write a list like others have suggested. Just a bullet point summarizing the topic/issue. Then give it to your T.

[InnerPeace111]

I write in my journal all week and then I'm able to decide from that which topics I want or need to talk about with T. I limit my topics to two or three things per session.

[nottrustin]

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel

Can you email? I email my T on the week I don't see her. Mostly it's just what happened during the week and seeking reassurance and encouragement, but sometimes I include things I want to talk about. When I go into session, somehow we always find a quick topic to talk about, and then it's the dreaded "So what do you want to talk about?" If it weren't for the email, I'd be stuck with "I don't know". So she usually pulls up my email from her phone, goes through the topics, and I pick one. We don't talk about them all, but it lets her know what I'm dealing with, and she can get a feel for what's more important.

However, with us, she tends to ignore most of the SUI stuff. I guess because it's been there for so long, and I'm not usually in a crisis. So hopefully if you do need help with your SUI things, your T will put those concerns first.

And if you can't do email: write a list like others have suggested. Just a bullet point summarizing the topic/issue. Then give it to your T.

Email is part of the issue right now. She is found through some major life changes. She sold her house and is moving of state. She will contorted her practice here but
Cutting down the number of days she works and cutting down the number of clients she sees. She also lost a close loved one over the weekend. The last thing she needs is to deal with any of my issues outside of sessions. So while we have always emailed between sessions when I am struggling and I have messaged her asking her to bring up topics, I really don't think it is appropriate right now.