I know I've been waiting for psychotherapy for so long, yet I am struggling with it. I never had so many triggers, bad dreams, flashbacks, I really feel guilty about posting this, my pdoc is the most understanding person who has been through the same as me, yet I feel so anxiousand scared right now. I also feel scared about being back here after 3 weeks, I feel as though I have been gone too long and don't feel at home here right now.Please bear with me, any rejection is so triggering. I'm scared I may have upset people a few weeks ago on the post of jessica. I never meant to hurt or upset anyone.

Jinny

[Pita]

Therapy is scary - took me forever to really talk. Anyway, I took no offense from the Jessica posts and I doubt any one else did either - we are all in this one way or the other together and everyone is entitled to their own opinion. The world would be pretty boring if everyone thought the same. Take care of yourself. No worries.

i feelcrappy and invisible. i dont feel welcome anymore. it doesn't feel the same. I wish i wasn't such a %#@&#!.

jin

[smiley1984]

yeah, counselling can be crappy.
everyone tells you to go because it will help, you get this idea in your head that it is going to fix things, wait ages to actually get an appointment and then you go and it is a bit of a disappointment.

People say it gets worse before it gets better, but like you I'm still in the worse bit and it is not nice.

I'm only new so anything you might be worried about having done in the past, I have no idea but you should stop worrying about it (I know easier said than done)

Anyway I feel for you, try to hang in there a little bit longer

[sidony]

Hey Jinny,

Well I never read the Jessica posts as far as I can remember, but I wouldn't hold them against you -- I know I've written a few threads on here where I wished afterward that I'd created a whole new forum identity before I'd written them (assuming we're allowed more than one username which I don't know about) because I knew people might look at me differently after them (or take offense, etc.). Sometimes it's hard. My T is trying to get me to be less careful about the things I say, so no doubt I'll be offending people in the near future if I take his advice.

Therapy's really hard in the beginning especially. But hang in there. You'll find it helpful eventually. I'm glad you've gotten in!!!

Sidony

thankyou so much everyone. I feel i am slipping backwards at the moment. still, tomorrow is another day.

love you all, jinny xoxoxoxoxoxo

[WinterRose]

(((jinnyann))) Hi Sweetie - I'm so glad you've been able to get into see someone and that you are working through things. Therapy is kind of 3 steps forward and then 1 or 2 back. Hang in there. It's worth it. It comes and goes in waves. My prescriptions help me so I can face the pain and bounce back more quickly. I'm sending you my love.

[debbie_tabor]

I was really glad to see you back. I hope you feel more settled soon.