How do you make big confessions to T?

There are a few things I need to tell my T really badly:



I've come to sessions multiple times with every intent to tell my T because I KNOW it's important and she can't help me if I don't tell her the truth but every time she asks, "What do you want to talk about today?" I just freeze. I'm too scared I guess. I know once I tell her I will be okay, but I just don't know how to tell her.

Annie Just do it hun. It is hard and scary but you may feel safer and relieved. take good care!

I'm sorry you're struggling, Annie, and I hope you can find a way to talk to your T about this. When I've "confessed" something difficult, I wrote it down and just sort of thrust it at my T before I had a chance to change my mind. It was hard, but worth it.

Hang in there.

Yep, the writing method has been my go to when I can't verbalize something.

I used writing method too.
I know it's really hard. Every time i start speaking i feel scared, almost panicking, i apologize, i mumble and so on... Like "well it's not really important, but maybe i should tell you.. well...oh... you know... i know it's terrible but... well... i'm scared to tell you but... ah nevermind" and so on.

I've never told him I have a drinking problem I just can't


so i understand

It's not really a big confession where therapys concerned.
If you mention it, T might advise you that is your choice as to whether to stop going or not. As therapy can't really work if you are numbing out. It's wasting your time.
Perhaps this isn't the time for therapy for you if it's having such an affect.
I'm an ex addict and T aid from the beginning, if I begun using again, to tell her. Because. It won't work like that. She didn't enter any dramatic rescue role. Therapys not about that. AA or something similar fits that role.

I also use the writing method. When I told her about my secret, I wrote it down on paper and gave it to her. I asked for the paper back afterwards, and asked her not to write it in my file. When I told her I love her, I wrote it in an email.

It has helped me to tell him, "I have something I want to share but I am scared to." Then we talk about what I am scared will happen when I share it. We've done that for several sessions before I shared a big confession.

Emailing, plus what skeksi said. (That way I know that my T will be especially careful in her reaction. Not that se's generally incautious, but if I give her a forewarning it makes me feel secure that she will be gentle with me.)

I usually just say I have something that I want to talk about but I don't know if I can get myself to do it. From there they'll guess the topic, I'll provide a little more info, they guess some more, until it all comes out ��

I'm in the same predicament and then I regret it after my session. I haven't figured it out yet as well. I think it's easier thinking and planning how to tell her abs then when she asks how I'm doing I go blank.

In the beginning, when it was really hard to confess anything shameful to her, i would tell her i was anxious, and she actually is really good at guessing what I am nervous about...but it would take a lONG time, but eventually i would write it down on a post-it for her. I wouldn't let her read it out loud (which she sometimes likes to do with my e-mails, and i am always like NO! I don't want to hear my emails out loud!), but once she did, she would talk and make me feel okay about sharing that, and that she is still there and isn't judging.

How do you make big confessions to T?

Dramatically?
In costume?
Using charades?

I still seem to go for 'telepathically', mostly.
(I'm still working on nurturing the virtue of courage.)

I think you should just suck it up and talk about it. You really do need to and trust me they have heard it all. I know how difficult it is to talk about difficult things I really do. I would feel physically sick sometimes knowing that I needed to talk about painful things. Sometimes it would take me almost until the last few minutes to bring things up. I suggest you try and not do that. Anyway they can't help,you unless they know what is going on. You could always try writing it down and handing it to them. I have done that many times. Good luck and sorry things are so hard for you right now.

Oh my god I was the same way, couldn't stand for them to read anything i wrote aloud.

Oh man can I relate to this. Ive been seeing my psychologist for 2 years and just NOW started building trust. It's nothing to do with her, she's sweet, patient, caring, and everything a good T should be. But I've always been the type to hide/hold in my feelings and never let anyone in. But over the past month or so I've been really having a hard time with my anxiety and it also resulted in having suicidal thoughts which freaked me out even more. Last session as soon as we were ending it, I bit the bullet and said if I tell you something, will you tell anyone (I was worried shed tell my parents). Once she said depends blah blah blah, I couldnt hold it in anymore and said it. I think that session was the most open I was out of the 2 years. We even went past the hour and I stayed an extra 30 minutes. I did keep apologizing for bringing up last minute but she said it was better than not saying anything at all.

My advice, just do it. I know it's scary but it feels SO much better once you're both on the same page. If I could do it, I think anyone can :P

The main issue I started going to therapy for was a drinking problem. My Ts knew it from start as I mentioned even in my initial contact email. Then I often hid relapses but it was not a good idea. I found it was easiest to just simply say it as it is, either via email or first thing in session. Not in a complicated way, just state that I drank again... the discussion flowed from there.

It may help you to NOT look at your T while you confess. I used to do that, many years ago, but nowadays I try to look at her right in her face. I feel empowered that way. But I realize that won't be comfortable for everyone.

When I previously had something difficult to say to my T, he moved his chair further away from me and I took my glasses off - so that he was just a blur. It helps me to kind of de-humanise him a bit...

I used to have to write them down for her to read. I just blurt them out now.

I think, in the beginning, I would just say it without any big deal to it, then I learned that she doesn't react to anything so it has never been much of a difficulty since then, just more of a meh. I don't understand why it is supposed to help to share things.