[hopealwayz]

Should I send it?

[captgut]

It depends. What do you expect? Do you post there smth you want your T to read? It's better say it out loud.
Of course you can send the link. But I doubt your T will read everything. I also doubt your t will like/retweet your posts, because it looks like breaking the boundaries for me.

So the main question is - what do you expect?

[Pennster]

I think it might be easier for you if you don't send your T anything. It sounds like things get hard for you when you reach out and have to wait for a reply. Maybe you could think of something to do to distract yourself- a bit of Netflix maybe? A hot bath? a nice snack and a cup of tea?

I just think you might find coping easier if you aren't waiting for a response from your therapist.

[Trippin2.0]

Curious about your thought process, what makes you think its a good idea?

[hopealwayz]

Originally Posted by captgut

It depends. What do you expect? Do you post there smth you want your T to read? It's better say it out loud.
Of course you can send the link. But I doubt your T will read everything. I also doubt your t will like/retweet your posts, because it looks like breaking the boundaries for me.

So the main question is - what do you expect?

What do you mean by treading boundaries?

[hopealwayz]

I Guess I want to give him an ideas inside my mind.

[insideoutside]

I process better in written format than verbal - it allows me to see what lies beneath and make connections - I get many revelations from writing. I have been emailing T - he has been encouraging it even tho' I asked for boundaries - he said my writing is moving and profoundly beautiful. But.... I wish I had never started. It makes me feel closer to him than is true. And then there is waiting for the response. I agree with what is your thought process? What do you expect? Can you write and then discuss at your next session?

[captgut]

Originally Posted by hopealwayz

What do you mean by treading boundaries?

I mean crossing therapeutic boundaries. Nevermind... I do not think before I post.

Originally Posted by hopealwayz

I Guess I want to give him an ideas inside my mind.

He can't read everything. He can miss something important. Maybe he will read it very rarely. Are you ready for that? I'm afraid you're expecting too much. Sorry if I'm wrong.

[ScarletPimpernel]

I think you need to keep your relationship with him as professional as you can. The relationship with your last T got blurred. It seems like you keep trying to replace that instead of trying to have a healthier relationship.

[Mully]

Have you clarified out of session contact with this T yet?

I wouldn't expect my T to read anything outside of session. I'm allowed to call and leave vm but she will only call me on work days. In a crisis, my choice is the ER. Sometimes I do write things, but I bring them to session.

In the past, you have talked about boundary issues with Ts. Reading your recent posts, it seems like you want more and more contact. I worry it's a slippery slope for you.

[feileacan]

My opinion is that you can send him this link, BUT you cannot expect him to read it. If you're ok with that then go ahead!

Otherwise, have you considered looking for a T who can see you much more frequently? It seems to me that this could be something you need. The current situation looks to me like you're a person who has starved for so long and now you get some food, but these are only crumbs and not enough to get you full and so you keep starving. Have you ever thought of looking for a T who could see you 2, 3 or if possible, even 4 times a week? In psychoanalytic/psychodynamic circles it is nothing extraordinary, it's just a frequency that allows to do deep work and is often necessary for people with attachment wounds.

[Trippin2.0]

Originally Posted by hopealwayz

I Guess I want to give him an ideas inside my mind.

Isn't that what your sessions are for?

Talking f2f works better. Thoughts can be questioned in the moment that can lead to more focus, different ways of thinking about something.

I agree with others saying you might want this to push more contact. I think it's unrealistic to expect a therapist to follow a client's social media posts and spend their time learning about us outside of session. I think if they are interested, it's fine, but not a fair expectation. You might be setting yourself up for future disappointment.

You can take it to session and share it then if you want. I agree with what others are saying. Blurry boundaries were the problem with your last therapist and you seem to be trying to find ways to push and blur those boundaries already, maybe to recreate what you had with old T which ended miserably. Keep this therapy as professional as possible and save outside contact for absolute emergencies or you are going to fall back into that pattern again.

I don't think it's a big deal to send a twitter link to someone. But why not talk to him about it and explore issues surrounding this urge instead of sending it?

Tell him next session how you wanted to send him a Twitter link then discuss your feelings about it such as why-do you want to open up to him? Do you want to share of yourself-intimacy? Do you want to be connected to him? Do you want to test him? Are you self-sabotaging? Just common reasons. I see you want to give him ideas inside your mind-why? That is really good subject material for therapy-you can talk about that alone for an hour!

Since this has been an issue for you-

Texting/emailing/calling people too much, when out of context with the relationship pushes them away. That's why i suggest talking with him about it so you can work on issues.

Or you could start that route again and work on it as it comes up. It just seems like your putting yourself through pain and rejection that way. All the kind of stuff some of us are in therapy for, right?

[Salmon77]

My impression is that therapists generally try not to have social media connections with their clients. Everybody needs time off from work, to take care of personal stuff or just relax and have fun. If a T is constantly reading posts or tweets from clients, they don't get that time off and then they burn out and aren't as good in session.

So your T would probably not read your Twitter feed much, if at all. Chances are you will post something that you think is important, he will not respond (probably won't see it), and you will get very upset and feel rejected and ignored.

Truth is you need to accept that this T is available to you only in sessions, he is not thinking about you 24-7. If you need comfort or to talk between sessions, can you reach out to someone else? A friend, a family member?

[AllHeart]

Originally Posted by hopealwayz

I Guess I want to give him an ideas inside my mind.

Maybe consider writing down those ideas inside your mind and bring them to session to discuss. It would probably be a better way to track what's going on for you. Your t won't be able to catch every Twitter post you make (if he even does Twitter), nor will he likely remember them. I think it would be highly upsetting to you to make a post to Twitter and not have your t acknowledge it at next session. I think you are not going to get out of this what you expect to get out of this and that will cause you too much pain.

[itisnt]

IMO, the best person to ask about sending a tweeter link is your therapist!
He's the one who can tell you definitively whether or not this is something he's open to. Plus, you and he can talk about why you want to send it and what your expectations are regarding him reading the link. We can all weigh in with what we think, but we're not the one who is going to receive the link.

[precaryous]

Think about how you would feel if T did not react to your twitter content as expected. I think you are setting yourself up for disappointment.

My experience is I have way more time to read, research and reply to online content than any of my Ts. If they looked at my social media at all, I imagine it would be a cursory glance.

I like the idea of collecting your thoughts and taking them into session so you can personally give weight to the topics that are most important to you.

[kecanoe]

Since you asked, I think not.

One reason is that if it were me, and I thought t might be reading, I would likely shape my posts with that in mind. And then I would wonder what t thought, and then wonder if t read, and then my mind would be off and running...

Another reason-and I in no way want to sound like I think prev-T's behavior was your fault-is that it does seem wise, in light of your last experience to pay attention to boundaries. From what I know, people who abuse persons outside of their family "groom" victims. They slowly suck their targets in so that the target thinks that what is going on is ok. From what I have read here, your prev-T did exactly that. And it was absolutely excruciating for you. And again, from what I understand, abusers look for certain qualities in their potential targets. A person who has those qualities probably needs to be extra careful. And that sounds like I am perhaps saying some of the blame lies with the victim. Which is not what I am trying to say.

Take me, for example.I have a tendency to get involved with people who are addicts. That does not mean that it is my fault if a partner drinks/uses-that is about them and their stuff. But it does mean that if the first two dates the guy gets drunk, that I probably ought to look elsewhere. And I probably don't want to hang out in bars to meet guys. So if new-T shows any signs of trying to suck you in, I would run for the hills. I think I would be very careful about outside contact and if it is within professional limits and I think I would be more rigid than might be necessary.