i sat on the bus today with my forehead against the glass, watching objects, people and earth move by. Slow, fast, stop here, stop there. All the faces, all the people. Cars, colour and sunshine.

i sat there and i knew. It didn't even scare me. My thoughts were more about what to do for my beloved dogs.

No need to call the police. i have no immediate plan. i just know.

What is different is the lack of impact, the lack of fear or strong reaction. It is just calm acceptance.

WHat is really ironic is that now would be a good reason to call my T... but we have dismantled that bridge now haven't we?

i am so trapped that i can't even die to escape.

[winterbaby]

Don't do it, it's not worth it.
Not a supportive touchy feely answer, but don't.
Lots of us care.
Maybe those who pass this way only infrequently too.

((((gerber))))
Hang in there!

[bipolar_bear]

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((gerber))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Please take care.

BB

[silentlyscreaming]

((((((((((gerber))))))))))

Hang in there and stay strong

[okiedokie]

Hey Gerber,
I'm sorry you are in such pain. You described the feeling very well. I, too, have felt like you do now.

Please don't give up though. It got better for me and it can for you too.

I don't know your situation with your T, but now would be a good time to talk to someone IRL. Friend, pastor, priest?

Please keep talking to us. It's true that there are a lot of people here who care very much about you.


Okie

[Soidhonia]

((GERBER))). I am sorry that you are struggling at this time. There should be a hotline number to call in your area when you just need to talk to someone. There are many support groups in many states and countries you can attend such as NAMI and DBSA in most major States. Having a crisis plan helps as well as someone to contact to talk to or get you out of the house when you are feeling suicidal. Feeling suicidal is just as important in getting the help you need as wanting to committ suicide. It is very important not to be alone when you are feeling suicidal because that is sometimes when you need the help and understanding the most because everything becomes so confusing at that time, and you need comforting to get through the confusion and isolation. If you do not have a crisis plan it can be made simply by making a list of things to do when you feel alone, depressed, or when you feel suicidal so that you can use in when you in a crisis to help keep yourself safe. Take care (((GERBER))). soidhonia

i just don't know what to do in the long run. i make through this day or that... but the problems don't change.

thanks for caring

[SecretGarden]

Believe me I understand .... really.... lately. I have been trying to have FAITH that things will get better and hold on day to day for good things. I have two cats that I love. That rather helps me though not always. Tonight is a better time but waking up is not so kind. Hang in there Gerber. Hang in there. I just hope that the problems will change in time and not be so overburdensome.

Peace...and HOPE...and strength. Wishing these for you though I know they can be illusive.

[Mouse_]

((Gerber))