Does your Therapist drink?

WrkNPrgress · Mar 28, 2017, 11:07 AM

What do you know about your therapist's drinking (or otherwise) habits? Do they drink? Are they sober? Are they recovered? Have you spoken about it?

Therapists deal with addiction issues as part of their job so I've always been curious as to whether or not a therapist might withhold their own drinking (or otherwise) status in order to make their clients feel more comfortable- one way or the other. Unless they're both in recovery, of course.

My T has made passing references that made me think she was recovered or didn't drink, but then I found a picture of her online where she was holding a can - I'm 90% certain- was a beer. I'm not bothered by it but surprised by my own assumption that she was totally sober. I really had no solid reason to think that.

I'm very self-conscious about how often I drink or how much so the subject has come up but I've never just asked her, "do you drink? Are you sober?" I feel like it's too personal a question and not really my business, I guess?

atisketatasket · Mar 28, 2017, 11:16 AM

DBC announced baldly on her website that she is a former alcoholic. And I too have seen a web pic of her when inebriated.

Most US states, if it's reported to them that a therapist has a substance abuse problem, will investigate and will yank the license if the practitioner doesn't get treatment.

junkDNA · Mar 28, 2017, 11:18 AM

No he doesnt. For personal reasons. He's never used drugs either. Sometimes I feel he can't really understand my struggles with addiction, even though he is trained to help with it

Mar 28, 2017, 11:18 AM

Yes, my therapist drinks socially. He does not have a history of alcoholism. His big vice was cigarette smoking. When I first started seeing him, he was still smoking and he stopped cold turkey about a year into knowing him. He hasn't smoked since.

Mar 28, 2017, 11:24 AM

I point blank asked my old therapist if he drank. He said he'll have drinks to be social, but he said he doesn't really like it.

I don't know if this really "counts", but he admitted he smokes 2 packs of cigarettes a day. That's when I asked him if he did pot.

He claims he "used to" smoke pot, but I don't know how true that is or isn't. He could be using cigarettes in lieu of pot. But his specialty is substance abuse, so I wouldn't be surprised if he had a history of substance abuse.

Not sure about my current T. She's relatively new and I literally don't know anything about her background.

11:42 AM

I don't know.
T1 drank. I saw a pic of him drunk on Facebook and I think he was drunk when he messaged me at 2am.

MobiusPsyche · Mar 28, 2017, 11:25 AM

I don't know one way or the other. It doesn't bother me even though sometimes I struggle with substance use as an unhealthy coping strategy.

WrkNPrgress · Mar 28, 2017, 11:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

DBC announced baldly on her website that she is a former alcoholic. And I too have seen a web pic of her when inebriated.

Most US states, if it's reported to them that a therapist has a substance abuse problem, will investigate and will yank the license if the practitioner doesn't get treatment.

Maybe I should clarify; The picture of her drinking from a can didn't make her look 'inebriated' by any means. The photo was just taken the moment she was taking a drink of something at a gathering, that's all. The conclusion I would draw is that she might have a beer on occasion, socially.

I just kind of assumed she didn't drink for her own reasons, I guess. I wondered if she could have had a problem in the past but — my point was that I had assumed something that might not have been the case at all. The conclusions I drew from the picture was more about my own erroneous jump.

Then again - the picture was taken from a distance and maybe it was a (blue) soda can, so I could be jumping again.

awkwardlyyours · Mar 28, 2017, 11:33 AM

Current T said she hardly ever drinks and apparently, never hard liquor -- she made a rather disgusted face when I told her I got well acquainted with a bottle of gin over the weekend. So, that's when I asked her about her drinking habits.

I don't know if this is true or not but she seems hell bent on portraying some ridiculous goody two shoes image -- she only got one speeding ticket in her life and that was a mistake on the part of the cop (she's 45); has tried to get me to agree somehow that sex in a long-term monogamous relationship (presumably like the one she has after getting married at 23) is superior to casual flings etc; concernedly asked me if I'd tried a specific (addictive) substance that I'd expressed interest in, when she was away (I sarcastically replied that it isn't strong enough to deal with the devastating pain of her absence).

I usually just roll my eyes and steer the conversation back to my specific issues rather than listening to her little morality lessons.

Myrto · Mar 28, 2017, 11:46 AM

How do people even know this about their therapist? I have to say I'm always astounded whenever someone here mentions that they know what their T experienced in life (mental illness, divorce, etc.). None of the therapists I have seen have ever mentioned the harships they faced in life, either in session or on their website. Honestly I'd like to know: it would make them more human and relatable. The only thing I know about my current T is that I found a pic on FB of a bottle of rosé announcing "first spring barbecue!" so I'm guessing she drinks socially. Someone who doesn't drink at all is rare in my country. Most people drink. If you don't drink at all, you're looked at with almost suspicion.

leejosepho · Mar 28, 2017, 12:08 PM

I had never known my long-ago therapist ever drank, and he and I had never talked about drinking in relation to myself or anyone else. Now fast-forward just a few years...

I had lost all control over my drinking while drinking, I could not just "put the plug in the jug" and leave it there, and I knew nothing at all about alcoholism and therefore had no idea how or why those two things had become true about me. I had not seen my therapist in quite some time, but then my ex-wife told me he had asked her to say "Hi!" the next time she saw me and to let me know he was "sober". I immediately dropped everything and went to see him, and he helped me begin to understand those two factors about myself while also telling me where I could find help just as had happened for him since the last time I had seen him!

satsuma · Mar 28, 2017, 12:19 PM

I don't know, but I would assume my therapist drinks alcohol, yes. Here in the UK, and in most of Europe I think, almost everyone drinks. It would be very unusual for an adult not to drink alcohol at all. Some people don't because of religious beliefs e.g. Strict muslims, or because they are recovering alcoholics.
I don't see it as a dichotomy between "someone who drinks" and "someone who is sober". A very small proportion of those who drink alcohol will go too far and binge drink and make themselves ill. and an even smaller proportion will have a problem with addiction. The majority of adults drink alcohol socially and for relaxation and social occasions, and I assume that my T does too.

satsuma · Mar 28, 2017, 12:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Echos Myron

I don't know.
T1 drank. I saw a pic of him drunk on Facebook and I think he was drunk when he messaged me at 2am.

Yikes! He needed to read the message on the couch! Ts, don't drink and text!!

WrkNPrgress · Mar 28, 2017, 12:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by awkwardlyyours

I usually just roll my eyes and steer the conversation back to my specific issues rather than listening to her little morality lessons.

Okay yeah, that would drive me nuts.

One time I spoke of just quitting, so it didn't become a factor in my old relationship fights. My T asked how much I was drinking and cautiously told me she didn't think I had a problem. Then she kinda checked me, saying, "As long as it's your idea... " Well, it wasn't. I was just a reaction to feeling shamed and controlled by my Ex, who used my drinking — and the inhibition I had in speaking back to her— as an excuse to wrong me in our fights and ignore her own culpability. That was more about her own history than anything I actually did.

Though self-medicating stress is an issue I've come to take a serious look at. I appreciate that my T didn't moralize me in that case, I would have felt even more shamed and manipulated by my Ex.

Nammu · Mar 28, 2017, 12:32 PM

No idea if any of my T's drank was never an issue and I never thought about it. I imagine most of them were social drinkers.

healed84 · Mar 28, 2017, 12:49 PM

He has admitted that has had a problem in the past with alcohol. Though, I do think he drinks in occasion. I think it colors his impression of me and my drinking. I don't drink very often, but when I do it's because I am in a bad place and I just need to escape. And he always starts to question my drinking habits a little more when he knows I not in a good place.

stopdog · Mar 28, 2017, 12:59 PM

I don't know specifically. The second one once said something about not having smoked pot since the 70s so I would guess she also drank some. I don't think she was someone who struggled with addiction issues from what she has said. The first one once said she did not drink but also talked about wine a different time - she contradicts herself a lot. And while I feel certain she has a pile of issues, I don't see any indication that addiction is her struggle either.

I never heard of dividing the world into sober or alcoholic until I dated a recovering alcoholic. My mom was a moderate drinker and my dad did not drink anything until his 30's and now only drinks wine moderately - I grew up thinking people just drank moderately.
I don't think about or care if therapists drink or not or use other substances.

Argonautomobile · Mar 28, 2017, 01:15 PM

I never asked, though sometimes I have this image of him coming home to an empty apartment (and perhaps severely neglected cat), pouring himself a glass of scotch (neat), and raising it to his lips with shaking hands and a muttered "I can't do this anymore."

I'm kidding. I have no idea.

Mar 28, 2017, 01:42 PM

My t specials in the impact of addiction on families so I am guessing she has had some experience with that. She does drink but only socially. I am a t and I don't drink or smoke and here in Ireland you need specialist training to deal with addictions so not all ts will see people with addictions, I would have to refer to a specialist.

TishaBuv · Mar 28, 2017, 01:51 PM

It was never discussed with any t's because I don't have a problem with alcohol. But, I'll bet they feel like taking a drink after listening to me for an hour.

Elio · Mar 28, 2017, 02:07 PM

I figure my T drinks occasionally, but I don't know and I haven't asked. She has been able to roll with my discussion of drinking (which I do like 6x year or so and usually only 1-3 drinks at a time). I did tie one on about 2 months ago.

I can't say I imagine that she uses drugs, even pot. But who knows since it is legal in my state.

bounceback · Mar 28, 2017, 02:41 PM

My first and second therapists were both recovering alcoholics who specialized in addictions. My next therapist mentioned enjoying wine. The next one didn't drink at all not even coffee. The one after that I have seen pictures of her online with alcohol. I rarely drink myself, only socially and on special occasions.

atisketatasket · Mar 28, 2017, 02:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Myrto

How do people even know this about their therapist? I have to say I'm always astounded whenever someone here mentions that they know what their T experienced in life (mental illness, divorce, etc.). None of the therapists I have seen have ever mentioned the harships they faced in life, either in session or on their website. Honestly I'd like to know: it would make them more human and relatable. The only thing I know about my current T is that I found a pic on FB of a bottle of rosé announcing "first spring barbecue!" so I'm guessing she drinks socially. Someone who doesn't drink at all is rare in my country. Most people drink. If you don't drink at all, you're looked at with almost suspicion.

In my case, DBC trumpeted pretty much every issue she ever had on her website. (It didn't stop with alcoholism.) And the one she didn't post online - mother issues - she told me about in session, a few too many times.

The others, I don't know about. But they were very different from DBC since they generally did not insert themselves into my therapy.

InnerPeace111 · Mar 28, 2017, 03:27 PM

I do not know anything about my therapist's drinking habits. If I had to guess, though, I'd say she only drinks socially or rarely and that she's sober 100% of the time. Of course, I could be very wrong. I don't imagine this is something we'd ever discuss and I would never ask her about it. I just wouldn't. It has nothing to do with my own therapy so I would feel like I was crossing a boundary if I asked.

Like Myrto said:"How do people even know this about their therapist? I have to say I'm always astounded whenever someone here mentions that they know what their T experienced in life (mental illness, divorce, etc.). None of the therapists I have seen have ever mentioned the harships they faced in life..." This is true for me as well. It even astounds me when people mention they know their T's birthday. My T discloses extremely little information and many sessions nothing at all. I'd like to know more about her but I can't see that happening.

healed84 · Mar 28, 2017, 03:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Myrto

How do people even know this about their therapist? I have to say I'm always astounded whenever someone here mentions that they know what their T experienced in life (mental illness, divorce, etc.). None of the therapists I have seen have ever mentioned the harships they faced in life, either in session or on their website. Honestly I'd like to know: it would make them more human and relatable. The only thing I know about my current T is that I found a pic on FB of a bottle of rosé announcing "first spring barbecue!" so I'm guessing she drinks socially. Someone who doesn't drink at all is rare in my country. Most people drink. If you don't drink at all, you're looked at with almost suspicion.

Well, I know in my case.. it was disclosed 5 years into therapy and he has always made personal disclosures when appropriate. In my case it was appropriate at the time.

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