Couch 140: Knocking pans

It's a FM tuner

That's the one i have but it's Broken

We use a portable speaker in the car that has no other way to connect.

ETA: we can't use the FM tuner in the city as there are too many radio stations and we get cross talk as we move around (this is with an older FM tuner that only had 5 options).

Is that loud enough?

Portable speaker is what I meant. Sorry. Audio box seems to be one of those "it sounds like correct English" we use in everyday language

The one we have, with the windows up, yeah.

We use a goal zero
Portable Rechargeable Speakers - Goal Zero

We have the basic one Rock Out 2 Rechargeable Speaker

Oh, right, where it plays over an FM station. I remember having that with a car that had a CD changer in the trunk! Sometimes didn't work so well because I was near a major city with lots of radio stations.

I remember having an 8 track tape player.

I ****ed up.... Really intense self hatred going on right now.. Why can't i get my crap together

Told a friend that its like I've gotten to the finish line and say down just before it... Throwing a tantrum and wanting dad to pick me up and carry me

Lots to chew on.

Hmm I've definitely experienced the kind of apology where the apologiser uses it as a weapon. I used to do that (my parents always apologises that way eek) but then I googled "how to apologise" and practiced and practice.

I can give a calm, non defensive apology now and am working on not always blaming myself automatically and not automatically apologising too.

T however wants me to get emotional when I apologise to her which is weird.

Honestly I think balance is good and I'm not a fan of how she wants me to be less intellectualised and more emotional.

Dang, the discussion here makes me want to journal to my T, haha.

I do see SD's points too and others along similar veins.

(I know they weren't directed at anyone specific just that they reminded me of points I understand but forget when emotional)

It reminded me that I could increase how often I TELL my partner about the positives of my job. I suddenly realised that while every day I am deliberately grateful for my job (which though I complain about, is really a job I can't afford to leave unless I get better opportunities), I don't often tell my partner that.

And I keep quiet about the regular job hunting I do too (job hunt isn't going well but he doesn't need to know that). So I'm presenting a skewed view.

Does anybody ever have a day where every little sound makes you crazy angry? Everything is bugging me today. The sound of the dog licking his paw, the birds chirping outside, cars going by, babies whining, cat coughing, the sound of my boss eating, toys sound 10 times louder than the norm. I just want to scream at the top of my lungs "MAKE IT STOP" That wouldn't go over well.

Yes - that happens to me sometimes.

I believe others get to find partners who agree with your position if it is what you want.
And I do agree with responsibility of it - I have found that certain types of people ignore me even when clearly announced and still follow me around, react and make it about themselves.

I need a partner who does not want the description above. I don't want it to become an "us" thing when it is an "I" thing. It is mine or it is yours. It is not to me - ours.
Happily I rarely get that involved with someone who needs to make a lot of things "us" - I am just not going to do it. I can't imagine many things more horrible (in relationship terms) than too much ussing. And more than tiny little bits is way too much for me.

But I also never choose to live full time with a partner. So, it is easy for both parties to get away when one or the other needs or wants it.

I loathe it when people park across two spaces to preserve their paint job or some such.

It makes me want to park the same way next to them and then open my door into their paint job really, really hard. Several times at least.

Is this about drugs or something else? You've been making great progress. You can crawl across the finish line if you have to--it's just about getting there.

Yep.. Drugs. These stupid *** drugs.. Tomorrow is another day

My h just turned down a delivery to china! Holy cow.

His job is starting to sound interesting. Where do i sign up?

"Couch 140: Knocking pans"

What are knocking pans?

Enquiring minds want to know!

Something inner children like to play to make noise? Knocking pans together?

Or punching something?

God, yes. For me this happens most every day. I am more tolerant in the beginning of the day (usually), but then it tends to get worse as the day goes on, especially if I have had a lot going on that day.

Like right now I just got back from the vet with my cat (the one who turns into a freaked out furball there; the other one is ok with it), and my neighbor is doing that thing where it sounds like furniture is being thrown against the wall. SHUT. THE. ****. UP. And what the **** could possibly be making THAT much noise besides, literally, an ELEPHANT?

No idea. Felt like someone hit my head with a pan. Thought that was too dramatic, so I tried to think of synonyms... Knocking was the first thing that came to my mind

Knocking pans makes me think of the foil pie pans my father would string around the garden we had in the backyard (when I was a kid) to scare the deer away from eating everything. I don't remember it working all that well.

I really really wish it was Saturday