Couch 140: Knocking pans

She never explained or apologised. This was the beginning of the end for us. It remains at the top of my list of complaints against her.

You could be the bride if you chose.

Ugh.. I am having issues with dissociation increasing over the last week or so. I can generally ground myself when I notice t happening. But it keeps happening and it is causing my anxiety to increase.

Jersey, you will clean the house today as you said you would. Jersey, you will clean the house today as you said you would. Okay. Going to clean.

Also gonna be cleaning today, since my mom is coming over after we go to lunch.

No cleaning today but I will tackle that monster spreadsheet, I swear

*crying and rocking*

I am fantastic at cleaning. Cleaning is lovely. I will gladly clean anyone's house top to bottom if they sit down and do this spreadsheet for me.

Deal! Me and excel get along much better than me and bleach. (((anais_anais)))

I am on my way!

Is that good or bad?

I'm next after SM.

Darn, Jersey made the deal before I could!

Good morning, couch!

I'm on a field trip today with 5 classes of 7th graders. I'm monitoring the back of the bus.

Pray for me.

Actually SM beat me to it, but I thought maybe I could divert Anais this way. Ha.

Kinda nervous about going to lunch with just her, just the two of us (no buffer of my daughter, H, or father). She wants to discuss family stuff (I think her siblings) or something. And she hasn't been to the house in a long time. At least when we get back to the house she'll be distracted by D after we pick her up, and probably won't notice what a giant mess it is.

Definitely having a beer with lunch (which isn't till 3:30), even if she makes a comment because I got a DWI 12 years ago. But one beer + lunch = fine! (That was...many more than one beer back then...)

Oops, you're right! It's a long line!

Yikes , good luck!

I'm at work wishing i were back in bed. Feeling stupid and sad about the relationship w t that exists only in my mind outside of my sessions. Not mad at her, it's not her fault that's how it's designed. It's just finally getting thru my thick skull i guess... Oh well.

Time to make my life more meaningful apart from her.

For how much I don't want to do that sheet, no worries-- there's time for everyone's houses, I'll do a tour!

You could always have a beer before lunch / seeing her? Avoid the comments that way and yet feel the pleasantness, so to speak?

AY, good idea with the pregaming.... unless of course there is value in antagonizing the woman, which would be my personal approach.

I feel weird seeing "the woman" not in reference to the t that SD hires

Yeah, maybe I'll just do that. Though part of me wants to be like "I'll do what I like, I'm an adult, I know my limits."

She initially wanted to meet at my house and have me drive her, but she also tends to be critical of my driving (speeding ticket 15 years ago--the horror!), and I'd likely be an anxious mess on the 15-minute ride, so I said I'd rather just meet there. She's concerned about finding the place, but it's literally one turn off the highway exit.

This is just weird timing, too, since I doing this inner child work in therapy and trying to figure out why I have so much paternal transference for marriage counselor. So of course there's been talk of my mom in there... T had suggested I talk to her about some stuff from childhood (like how she felt when I was dealing with anxiety and OCD), but NOPE! At least, not today.

I must say "unless there is value in antagonizing the woman" sounds pure SD.

Really, it's more the double standard that she's fine with my dad or H having a beer or two (often two) with dinner when we're out and driving, but not so much me.