Couch 144: The contact-miked cactus couch

Hi couch. I ended up going to dinner for father's day yesterday. I offered my dad lunch, we agreed, then I got a call from another CVS other than my store needing someone because they had a call out, so I went to work there, then dinner. My step-mom had to tag along. I guess she "is his wife," but why couldn't she let us have father's day without her?!? Oh well.

Today was my grandma's 81st birthday. My mom and I treated her to a late lunch/early dinner at Carrabba's. My mom had a gift card that would cover her food and some of my grandma's, so we used that and I paid the rest (mine and the rest of my grandma's). We went to the Carrabba's near my CVS since I had to work 4-8, they met me there and I went straight to work from there.

In other news, when I got home from dinner with dad last night, the lady I rent from asked when I was going to pay my June rent. WTF?!? I already paid it. I tell her this and she swears I haven't and to double check my bank account to make sure it's not still in there. Ummm..... She wanted me to pay the entire amount (again) because she never received it according to her. I got her to agree to half of it instead. I put it as we both take a hit that way. I am paying over what I owe and you are not getting what you normally get (even though I know I paid already). I hate cash payments for this reason. I also said that from now on I either wanted a receipt after I paid her or wanted to pay her with a check, so it has to clear my bank and I'll have confirmation of payment. She chose the check option. Thank goodness, I do not want this to happen again. Grrrr.......

Teacher finally posted grades for the first week of assignments this morning. I have a total of 12.5 out of 13 points so far. I'll take it. I would rather have 13 out of 13, but I guess I still have an A and that is all that matters.

I need to finish up discussion posts for this week's material (week ends on Monday for school and starts on Tuesday). I have 5 more hours before it closes out.

I was supposed to be off from my CVS on Saturday. I get to work today though and pharm manager says, "Sooo....Squirrel...what hours are you currently working Saturday and where?" I said I am off, he told me wrong answer. I looked perplexed at him and he says that corporate is requiring us to redo our last waiting bin scan because we were off from where we should have been, so I need to be there to prep and scan it. I asked if he wanted me there all day because that would be a lot of extra hours to his budget for the week. He goes, "You mean you weren't scheduled at all?" Ummmm....nope. "Could you do a split?" What do you mean by that? "Come in 7-9 to prep the bin, go home take a nap and then come back 4-6 to scan the bins?" I need the hours, so I agreed. I will just have double the gas as normal used that day driving there, home, there home. But, there isn't enough to do around there to fill up from 9-4 during the day, so going back home is the best option really. *shrug* It really isn't that far.

I just realized that I still need to take my evening meds. It's not too late to, so I guess I should go do that now.

Ok, meds taken. Can't stay up too late tonight as I have T in the morning. I just remembered that too. Heh.

I got notice from my university's aid office that my additional student loan funds would be sent to the school on Friday, then for them to process them against my account and send me the excess for getting a better computer to do my schoolwork on, I just have to use it for educational purposes and a computer is a valid one. I don't want to fraud the govt using it for something else. That would be illegal and get me in trouble.

Geezus, Squirrel, your landlady sounds like a crook. I'm glad you are insisting on a paper trail for the future.

Truth!
Yes please!!
It is totally a thing. High heat yes, but extreme humidity...UGHHHHH. I live in the wrong state for my hatred of it, but minus summer, I love it here.
I'm glad it went okay! Also awesome you got to wear scrubs. Did you get to keep them?!

No. But I thought about it. However, they don't make scrubs to fit da booty that well, if you have one. Ha. I should stay away while still a little high, a least I'm not texting DM. Ha

Hi, couch.

I played around on FB a bit, still need to make a few more discussion posts for my class. Better go do that now, so I can be in bed before midnight (25 minutes away). Need to shower still, but that can wait till morning.

So when things start to go bad for me.. I have this insatiable need to read up on every mental illness that I have been dx with... and I think it makes me feel better, but I am not sure sometimes that it is a healthy thing to do. Anybody else ever feel that need??

Still up... can't sleep... not tired... probably because I slept in till noonish today.

I do this sometimes too... I also read up on the medications I am on when I am in bad spots to remind myself that studies have shown they work.

Thought I have about myself, dunno if you feel similarly : the punitive part which exists to punish me is trying to protect me by hurting me through harsh punishment. So I won't do the Bad Thing which got me hurt by the caregivers.

I'm upset. Read something that was triggering. Reminded me of hurts I do my best to forget.

SO told me to get over it and forget it. I can't despite doing my best for years.

Hugs... urgs, that "poem" is so full of pain. Those things aren't easy to forget and one can't just "get over it". I'm sure you wouldn't think of it anymore if you could

Hugs. Hugs. Yeah, it's "just" words on a screen but they took me off guard, sigh.

My SO has never experienced verbal sexual harassment, but he's experienced bad physical and verbal bullying.

For me, personally, the sexual component to the verbal harassment is something I struggle to come to terms with. Because I don't understand why some women I was friends with hated me enough to enjoy saying I should be raped and other things. Maybe I'm naive but what could I have possibly done to warrant that kind of glee? I think one factor was they suspected I wasn't straight but still, I don't understand why I was a target.

I know he's right that "dwelling on things" isn't helpful, but I'm honestly not looking for upsetting things, you know? I just happened to be reminded of some experiences mentioned in the poem and that poem is indeed raw in its pain.

I feel slightly better after lunch and a cup of my fav matcha latte. I got a $2 coupon to use on Starbucks ready brew as well.

He's had a hard day chasing flys and rolling in the smelly weed.

I'm kinda thrilled that T2 is an outspoken advocate for LGBTQ+ in my nation, but not sure how awkward it might be if I actually run into him at LGBTQ+ events. In the meantime, yeah, nice to hear him and another counsellor at the counselling org talk in a video about how he believes a particular law will be repealed in his life time.

There's literally nothing you could have ever said or done that would justify those statements. Nothing (whether you're straight or not!). I do not understand why anyone would say such a thing. You're not naive for thinking the same.

Everyone handles different things differently. I don't know your partners background, but I know that you already had to handle a lot. There's only so much a single person can take

Hugs. Aw, now I'm trying not to get misty eyed at work again. ((Hug))

I know I did what I could to be assertive, to walk away amid jeers and stuff (they wanted to get reactions), so I'm able to tell myself I did the best I could.

I'm thinking I'll eventually bring the story to T and maybe LGBT T. T would probably suggest imagery work, and I know LGBT T would understand why I took the harassment so very personal.

(T is great and I love her as my T but she thinks instances of possibly LGBTQphobic-motivated bullying is something I can just...see as "it's not personal" when I am still at the stage where it is indeed really personal to me)

I really don't like all this "imagery work" thing. I don't get what the point of it is. I think it's... impossible to not take such a statement personal, especially not (at least for me) from another woman.

Hugs...

Hugs! Yeah, I'm a big skeptic of imagery work, much to my T's frustration. I keep telling her that imagery is imaginary, fake, not real, fantasy, and that as a kid I escaped into fantasy and it didn't help me since no amount of fantasising made reality better. It's what I truly believe, though T thinks it's how I'm resisting, being stubborn, looking for reasons to disbelieve

Schema therapy is HUGE on imagery exercises, it's one of the main tools, together with gestalt chair work. I otherwise like schema therapy but I'm not a fan on chair work and imagery.

Oh my God, I hate Gestalt chair work so much. T knows that I do, because I piss and moan every time he asks if he can bring out the Evil Chair. Yet he persists because I typically have some decent insight when we do the work.

Also good morning couch!

Good morning, Daisy

Morning daisy!

ETA: That was kind of identifying, so I removed it... sorry

There is something to be said about the squeaky wheel. It needs to be oiled. I could imagine my T saying something similar. I can't have my needs met by others if I don't express what my needs are. That why he's genuinely happy when I've told him about recent experiences with setting boundaries.

Sorry if I also missed the point. It's early and I'm sore from my workout yesterday.

Some people ignore the squeaky wheel though