Couch 144: The contact-miked cactus couch

291 "guests" currently on the psychotherapy forum? Why wasn't I notified about the convention?

Art! Glad to see you back!!

About your session...
It reminds me when I left California while my adult daughter stayed behind....she was constantly angry with me while I was preparing to leave.
My T at the time wondered if it was easier for her to be angry with me vs. admit her sadness..

I was missing granite, too, and I'm glad to see her post.

I really want a cigarette NOW!

In effect.

Anyone ever experienced that..
- you wake up out of a nightmare,
- Feel relieved, whatever
- You go on with your day
- Things start to get weird and creepy and... like nightmare material
- you wake up out of your nightmare
- Repeat.

Basically like... You're having nightmares in nightmares in nightmares and everytime you get out of one, you feel that you're finally back in reality when actually you're still stuck in a dream?

I had this problem about a year ago... I could "wake up" 5-7 times and more. Very creepy.
It still happens sometimes. Today, for example. I was very scared and thought I went insane

It's been interesting, these temps... my car doesn't have air conditioning, so driving home from work in the afternoon with the windows open feels kinda like sitting in front of a blast furnace haha! it's actually not so bad, only like a 20 minute or so drive, and I either jump in the pool or into the shower as soon as I get home!

Hi, Art!

It's Friday. It's Friday. It's Friday. It's Friday. It's Friday.

So happy it's Friday. Happy being more of a figurative term. On Friday's I get out of work 2 hours early, see the Duchess Mal, have my dry needling appt (has anyone done this?). It's amazing. It's actually teaching me how to feel, and not dissociate from it, as well as helps some of my ailments (migraines, neck pain, etc). Then home. Home until I have to leave again on Monday to start the whole 'adulting' process again.

Probably spot on in my case too! I sat there watching myself acting like a brat and I felt helpless to stop it. I think it was her saying that she had already started grieving the loss is what, well, undid me. She made it real. Even though it was a mutual decision to end, I hadn't been prepared for the reality of it yet. Or something. Well, anyway I am fine this morning. Will probably call her today at some point and apologize for acting out. Although I did read something somewhere about this kind of thing, this regressing or whatever during the termination phase, maybe it's normal who knows....

Did she just mention that she'd already started grieving the loss without any prompting from you? Because it seems like she shouldn't have said that--talking about her feelings instead of yours. And focusing on something you're probably not ready to focus on yet--November is still pretty far away! I don't think you have to apologize for acting like a brat--if anything, she should apologize for what she said. I think you should definitely tell her about why you were acting that way though...

Also, I'd always get in fights with my parents (and I rarely fought with them) when going back to college after winter or summer break. I think it made separation easier. I suspect I'll start acting the same way if T announces her retirement or we decide on a termination date with MC.

Art - why not wait till next week to apologize if you feel you should? (I don't think you need to, myself, but can see why you might want to.) It just seems like maybe you shouldn't be contacting her between sessions as you ease into a life apart from her?

Oh, and how is the writing class going?

Maybe we're dreaming together! Sorry this happens to you too... As if single nightmares weren't enough.

And for ellahme and friday:

I love that! So cute, and oh so accurate - although much cuter than I look today ha.

Here's the deal with t and me..

It's been a rough couple of weeks for me. I saw t twice this past week and have been seeing him weekly now for like two months after switching to every other week.

We have a plan to stay safe - when I am not doing well is to reach out to him. I can email, but if it is more immediate I can text and he always reassures me/ and even asks me if I will contact him if my thoughts get worse.

So, Wednesday I posted about how my h and I got into an argument and he said some hurtful things to me. After that, I texted t told him h said some hurtful things and it had pushed me to the edge and was not in a good place. I sent that text at about 3:30ish.. the text was read at 7 something then he never responded. It was a rough night and I wasn't really upset at t.. I was more upset about my life/marriage. I made some plans for me to live with friends on and off / and called my bff purposely to help me stay safe.

The next morning when I woke up was when I was pissed at t. He didn't respond to my distress text, even after we confirm what I should do in those situations. So, I did impulsively email him and said I am done with therapy and you pretending like you care and I quit. I know, not my most mature moment... but that is truly how I felt. He emailed back and said you are upset about something, what is is that triggered the anger with me and therapy. I emailed back and said I feel like you don't take me seriously when I tell you how bad I am doing, or when I contact you out of session.

His response was that he always takes me seriously, but he can't always be available. I lost it with that reply. Because I constantly talk about fearing I am too much, and worry about brushing up against boundaries. He reassures me time after time that I am fine and don't worry about any of that. So, does he really think I expect him to ALWAYS be available?

And- anyways, if he tells me to text or email anytime, then am I wrong to expect some kind of response? So, I emailed him back and told him I don't expect him to be available always- I do however, think of he was too busy he could of said something like- If it's that bad, to to ER. I haven't heard from him since. And being mature, and responsible I don't expect a response this weekend because his son graduates today and he has family on for it.

Soooo- tell me, is it an irrational expectation for my t respond to a text when he tells me I can always text him?

I mean if I was just sharing my thoughts I would have emailed him and I don't expect a response from those. But and text message is different.

I went thru something similar with my T last year. He was always there to text me back and then suddenly it wasn't okay anymore and he is "not on call for me every second of every day".really not a graceful way to implement boundaries. I just sent back ok and then I guess he got all worried and sent another text saying he still cares blah blah blah. Yea it hurts a lot esp. When we have these feelings already that we are too much. I don't think your reaction is illogical. I would be very upset too... And I was last year. When do you see him next??

Well guys I failed my exam

Fml

Really considering going off the deep end on a drug binge but that would be dumb and counter productive but this is what the child part does

So sorry... Can you repeat it?

Hang in there. Please try to stay safe and without drugs. I know it's hard, I failed my exams a year ago. That was awful. You can do it though

They offer a free retake

They said the AAPC would tell us our weakest areas in the exam but it just says fail in all caps. Thanks guys

Ugh, that sucks
Were you close to the passing score?
I would encourage you to take it again, even if you take some time to study.

Your scores are probably hidden in there somewhere. As i remember from my nail exam, they dont have the most user-friendly reporting results. I had to retake acrylics

And the thing is I rarely text him.. I save it truly for the times when I need a little help grounding myself.

He just responded to my email saying we will talk more about it on Friday. So, I get to wait a whole 7 days to stew more about it. I think I will wait until Monday when all of his family is gone and he is back to work and tell him that we won't talk about it because I am done. I have enough relationship trouble in my life- I really don't need to have one in my life that I pay to have so much drama around.

Also, I am going to graduation tonight and will be seeing him. Which will be fine because we generally don't talk to each other when we see each other at school functions, but I am sure it will be a little awkward.

Sorry to hear that!! Don't give up, try again!!

it doesnt even tell me the score i got. it just says

FAIL
****ing failure.