[Sarmas]

Finally today it's an end with my T. It needed over something stupid but things weren't working beforehand. We had multiple issues before with her starting session late and having her phone go off during session multiple times.

I was previously going to take a break and I cancelled my session. The day prior to when my session was originally set I went to my Ts office for my sons to see their T which is in the ask place. She asked me if I wanted to talk and go back. She said she had a cancellation. I said it was unexpected and that I had no money on me and so then she said that I could pay her next week. I said alright not noticing that it was 20 min into the hour. She ended at the hour anyway so I got 40 min out of that. I was a little upset and thought that she's just trying to make a dollar. Then I said well maybe I'm reading too much into this.

Recently I had issues in life. It was several things that came up at once. I was upset and was going to use my own coping skills to handle these situations. Then I thought that if I went to session this week that she would just tell me how wrong I am and that I exaggerate. I tried canceling a few days ago and she encouraged me not to. I followed along.

Now today we were suppose to eat lunch during session in her office to help me with my eating disorder. I communicated with her before that I couldn't make up my mind as to where to order from and that I was having a tough time and she insisted for me to choose. Today she contacts me 3hrs before our session and asked me what I decided on. I said nothing that I'm having a tough time eating today. She then got upset and said that she's heading into session. It was 11:55. I'm thinking she never heads into my session early. She's always late for mine. She said that if I didn't choose then nevermind. I responded and said that I told her two days ago that I was having a tough time deciding and I told her today. She can pick the restaurant and I'll pick my own food. I then said but if she's going to have an attitude then forget about it. She responded and said to me that we can't keep doing this which we never have before. She said that she only brought a snack thinking that she was eating with me. I said forget I'm just not going into today and that I'll pay her next week for last week's session and today's no show from me. She said ok. I told her that maybe I'll see her when I come back from vacation. She said to let her know when that is. We spoke many times about when I'm going on vacation. I told her that if she doesn't remember then I just can't deal with this. She said that she doesn't remember exactly the date. I didn't ask her to remember the date. She said she's not doing the work for me. I said to her that all I wanted was guidance and that today didn't have to end up the way it did. I said that I'm taking a break and I didn't hear back. That's that. I'll hand her the money next Tuesday. I'm not sure what I'm paying her for? I was upset because I was going to cancel Originally and she encouraged me not to and I should've. I didn't want to waste the money in gas to go see her on top of the session fee. If I originally stuck to my cancellation I would've saved myself $90.

[AllHeart]

I'd start by paying her for the 40 Minute session only. Pro rate it --do not pay for the full hour. It's fraud if she tries to make you pay for the whoLe thing. I also would just not pay her for today and see what happens. Sounds like This t Is a fiasco.

[Sarmas]

Originally Posted by AllHeart

I'd start by paying her for the 40 Minute session only. Pro rate it --do not pay for the full hour. It's fraud if she tries to make you pay for the whoLe thing. I also would just not pay her for today and see what happens. Sounds like This t Is a fiasco.

Well she was sitting the whole time in her office and comes out and tells me to go in. I'm even wondering if she knew beforehand that this one client wasn't coming and she just wanted to get texts out of the way and then call me in. Also I know that she's having issues with this trump medical insurance changes and she's afraid of certain programs being discontinued because of personal issues in her life and also she's afraid of clients losing insurance and her income not being as great. I pay her in cash. Previously if I tried to cancel she would say whatever. Once or twice she would encourage me not to. Now she has gone above and beyond to get me in her office and not cancel. Today was the only day she didn't argue but I think that's because I told her that I would pay her for the last session and for today's cancellation. i think she's okay as long as her pay is guaranteed. Perhaps cancellation has nothing to do with the therapeutic work but it's about her financial gains. I understand it's her career but at least seem interested. Then I though well with my break she loses me as a client where there's no insurance or paperwork involved. She's really bothered about the future of health insurance in the U.S. So how would you take that chance to screw up if you're that afraid to lose clients. It's a contradiction.

I am sorry about what happened. Sounds like you haven't been getting on with her for a while now. How are you feeling about it? She sounds very pushy, you have to be ready to eat around someone when you have an eating disorder pushing you into having lunch with her is cruelty as it is pushing you out of your own support. Also, only having 40 minute sessions and charging you is fraud. I would contact your insurance company.

[Sarmas]

Originally Posted by monalisasmile

I am sorry about what happened. Sounds like you haven't been getting on with her for a while now. How are you feeling about it? She sounds very pushy, you have to be ready to eat around someone when you have an eating disorder pushing you into having lunch with her is cruelty as it is pushing you out of your own support. Also, only having 40 minute sessions and charging you is fraud. I would contact your insurance company.

I didn't mind the eating. It was actually helpful until yesterday. I was really having a tough time and I was looking for her support or guidance or whatever it is I pay her to do. I thought when I hit the wall that she would either pick the restaurant or guide me any other way. Instead she got upset and placed all fault in me. The she blamed me for doing the same in the past of which I didn't do. I told her that this whole blow up yesterday was unnecessary. I actually had things to address yesterday and instead I have to pay her for the session because I did cancel three hours before and I honor that . I wasn't about to drive 30 min to see her and waste gas when we are having issues already. Basically I lost out and she got a paid lunch and free time to order whatever she wanted. I'm still upset. I'm upset that she didn't think anything I said had any value. She was okay with how everything ended. I pay her in cash so no insurance involved. I was so upset that she didn't own up to anything or didn't even try to communicate after the fact knowing how upset I was. I feel like I'm just a number after 5 years of being with her. I'm not sure who to trust anymore.

I can really understand not knowing who to trust when we can't even trust our ts. Sounds like she is taking advantage of you and perhaps there is an over familiarity because you have known her for over 5 years!

[Sarmas]

Originally Posted by monalisasmile

I can really understand not knowing who to trust when we can't even trust our ts. Sounds like she is taking advantage of you and perhaps there is an over familiarity because you have known her for over 5 years!

I agree. I thinks she's grown comfortable enough and she's taking advantage of it. She probably knows that it won't work with others. I'm okay with adjusting to certain things but when it comes to cutting my time and not acknowledging that I'm upset at yesterday's situation. I pointed out how silly it was to have an argument over food. She didn't even touch that subject and she stands behind what she does not caring how I was affected by it. As long as she got paid then she's okay with it. She will write that off as something that was my fault and that it was my cancellation and my choice so it's okay. Really after 5 years I expect more consideration if anything. She's great at turning this around and placing the blame on me. She's an expert at it.

[feileacan]

Considering all above, why are you still staying with her?

[Erebos]

What I can't figure out is how you even know about financial issues?
That right there is bleeding boundaries that causes issues.
A clients only financial concern should be their own arrangement with their T. A T has no business dropping breadcrumbs of info about their financial situation.

Is she specialised in eating disorders...Because guilt tripping you about how ' She hadn't eaten because she was expecting to eat with you,' sounds like the opposite of not making food an issue.

I do wonder sometimes exactly what it Is T think they are doing.
Fingers crossed you feel better soon and kind find someone who knows what they are doing.

[Sarmas]

Originally Posted by feileacan

Considering all above, why are you still staying with her?

I just left her. I was with her for 5 years. I took a break last year and decided to give her another try after a 6 month break. I don't see anyone during that time. When I went back she did change and there were certain things that were better than before I left. She finally started getting me but obviously not enough that this happened. I don't think she sees that her comments and actions are hurtful and frustrating. She doesn't care how it affected me. She reacts a certain way and its okay according to her and I'm the one with the issue. I was considering not seeing her for a few sessions but then I changed that. I can't return with how things were left and how She reacted.

[Sarmas]

Originally Posted by Erebos

What I can't figure out is how you even know about financial issues?
That right there is bleeding boundaries that causes issues.
A clients only financial concern should be their own arrangement with their T. A T has no business dropping breadcrumbs of info about their financial situation.

Is she specialised in eating disorders...Because guilt tripping you about how ' She hadn't eaten because she was expecting to eat with you,' sounds like the opposite of not making food an issue.

I do wonder sometimes exactly what it Is T think they are doing.
Fingers crossed you feel better soon and kind find someone who knows what they are doing.

She says certain things during session. She went on the news here complaining about the healthcare system and how itwill affect her in a negative way. She speaks about her fears. She mentioned it to me during session a few weeks ago and said that the news crew went to her house to interview her about healthcare. I already knew she was involved in that fight but I didn't respond during my session. I didn't want to make my session about her healthcare fight or look at me I'm voicing myself and making myself known. I'm not sure if she was waiting for me to question her about it but I didn't need to since she already made it public.

As for the food I count chooses at all. In fact i was having such a tough time that perhaps if she chose then I would pick from there because it would narrow things down for me. Instead she made the whole thing into something else and put the blame on me. Now the eating was it about me Or her???? Again I don't mind how she perceives it but I expected a little more guidance from her but what I dot was anger and frustration from her. Then I voice myself and later say how ridiculous this is and she disappears.