[20oney]

Sooo my T decided to abruptly go away (it wasn't really that abrupt) but it resulted in a 4 week break between session.. the first week and a bit I was fine, then it sunk in and I was a wreck. After a few days like this, I decided that 'feeling' my emotions was not going to work for this long, so I resorted to the usual - push all the emotions down and put a lid on them.

Anyway, she's back this week and I am due to see her in a few days. But I'm stressed about how it's going to go. I feel like I made a bunch of progress, gained a lot of trust, and now it just feels like I have gone backwards. I know I've gone backwards.. I just don't know how it's going to go - I'm dreading it.

Just wondering what your experiences have been like after a longer break?

[Schizoid_1]

My t went on a 37 day break this summer. When she came back, I was angry inside I guess and had thought of termination. But I guess, that's just my issues. She said that acting up and demanding her attention after a long break is not that unnatural.

[Elio]

My T's vacation was only a week, then we did a move.. I've backslide so much it is unreal. I have no advice on how to get out of the place where you are. I'm in a similar place.

[20oney]

Originally Posted by Schizoid_1

My t went on a 37 day break this summer. When she came back, I was angry inside I guess and had thought of termination. But I guess, that's just my issues. She said that acting up and demanding her attention after a long break is not that unnatural.

Yeah my mind is telling me to cancel the session this week.. I donno, if I can make it this long, why not continue on my not so merry little way...?

[tosca203]

Originally Posted by 20oney

Yeah my mind is telling me to cancel the session this week.. I donno, if I can make it this long, why not continue on my not so merry little way...?

I understand how had this is for you. What was your relationship like before your T went away? Do you journal? If so, can you look back and see if you felt the relationship was good? If it was, I suggest going back for one more session to talk about your feelings with T. I just did this, and it helped me feel closer and more connected to my T, when I was thinking of terminating going into the session. If you find it hard to talk, you can write a letter to her. But (assuming you have felt helped by your T before), I think it may be valuable to give this letter to her in person so that you have a chance to hear what she has to say in response. For me, this was a really positive experience.

Originally Posted by 20oney

Sooo my T decided to abruptly go away (it wasn't really that abrupt) but it resulted in a 4 week break between session.. the first week and a bit I was fine, then it sunk in and I was a wreck. After a few days like this, I decided that 'feeling' my emotions was not going to work for this long, so I resorted to the usual - push all the emotions down and put a lid on them.

Anyway, she's back this week and I am due to see her in a few days. But I'm stressed about how it's going to go. I feel like I made a bunch of progress, gained a lot of trust, and now it just feels like I have gone backwards. I know I've gone backwards.. I just don't know how it's going to go - I'm dreading it.

Just wondering what your experiences have been like after a longer break?

I'm sorry you were struggling & suppressing your feelings is just your old coping mechanism, so not surprising really as that was the way we managed to cope in the past. I also really struggle when my T goes away. Although when he returns & I see him, I'm excited to see him, I'm always quite nasty & sarcastic to him. My T says it's because I feel abandoned by him, so I have to make him 'pay' in some way. By the following session I'm usually ok again. You say you've gone backwards, but I don't think you have at all. All you have done is manage the best you can during that time. You are aware of your feelings now, whereas b4, you just did that without realising. Good luck in your next session & talk to your T about exactly how you feel & how you've managed.

[20oney]

Originally Posted by WorriedWell23

I understand how had this is for you. What was your relationship like before your T went away? Do you journal? If so, can you look back and see if you felt the relationship was good? If it was, I suggest going back for one more session to talk about your feelings with T. I just did this, and it helped me feel closer and more connected to my T, when I was thinking of terminating going into the session. If you find it hard to talk, you can write a letter to her. But (assuming you have felt helped by your T before), I think it may be valuable to give this letter to her in person so that you have a chance to hear what she has to say in response. For me, this was a really positive experience.

So our relationship before was getting to a high level of comfort in that my walls were starting to come down a little.. I agree with you, that it will probably go well and provide some sense of connection. But yeah, it's just like, 2 steps forward, 3 steps back. Is it all really worth it? There's going to come a time where I'm going to have to make it on my own anyway..
I have written a bit of a vent, which I'd normally send by email, but it's a bit different this time.. So I doubt she'll ever catch wind of it..

Thanks for the reply! It is good to hear from some positive experiences

[Sunflower123]

I've been having breaks in my therapy because my therapist took a full time job at the VA and only sees me a couple of Saturdays a month. She has said she can't provide the level of support her patients need. I have an appointment with a new tdoc on Tuesday. I need to see someone every week. I'm going to hate losing her. She really helped me a great deal.

[20oney]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I've been having breaks in my therapy because my therapist took a full time job at the VA and only sees me a couple of Saturdays a month. She has said she can't provide the level of support her patients need. I have an appointment with a new tdoc on Tuesday. I need to see someone every week. I'm going to hate losing her. She really helped me a great deal.

Gosh that sounds really tough! Hopefully the new one is a good fit for you

[porcelainboy]

My T takes at least one week off every two months. Around Christmas/New Year he takes about a month off, which is pretty understandable since he wants to be with his family but I hate that he takes so many vacations outside of holidays. I was unable to get an appointment this week despite the fact that I desperately need one because he's on vacation. I suppose if you're in that line of work you want as many breaks as you can get, but seriously...

[Chummy2]

I had this too, with prevT, two years ago. She had a vacation of about 2,5 weeks, but I didn't saw her for 4 whole weeks. And it was a hard time for me. Not just because she went on vacation, but having no one to talk about my stuff maked it that more difficult.
I was also a bit angry at her, because I had no back-up or something. I think she thinks a little bit too easy about this sort of things, like it's not that of a big deal for clients. I've never said this to her.
She also hadn't told me this that long it advance. Maybe a few weeks before her break?
An other time when she had one week off, she told me the week before that week. I think that's just too short notice. Especially because I was really not doing well, then it just causes a sort of shock.

But back then, after I had a session after several weeks of not seeing her, it just felt normal a few minutes into the session.
But last year, I didn't saw her for more than 5 months and it felt weird. And it was still like that at the 4the session.