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#51
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Go for it!!! You may be surprised. Even if its only once.
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#52
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My T does not hug/touch me & if he came even remotely close to me, I'd freak out!!! I don't even like my T coming up behind me to shut the door when I leave. I need to be in my own space, touch free.
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#53
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Once will do me
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#54
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We hug sometimes. Not all the time or not even often, but sometimes. Both me and her have initiated it. I love hugging her, but once in a while is perfect.
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#55
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I have no idea where mine is with this sort of thing. It hasn't come up.
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#56
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My T shakes my hand when I come in, and does it again when I leave. Sometimes he'll pat me on the back if the session was really stressful.
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#57
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We had an extremely awkward handshake after our first session. Other than that... no.
Given our particular situation I don't think it would be at all appropriate or ethical for him to touch me. Much as I sometimes fantasise about it. Also, I would have a heart attack, probably. Or... something else... ![]() |
![]() Anonymous37961, Argonautomobile
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#58
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Quote:
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#59
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My T hugs me after every session, unless I refuse it. She used to be very touchy.... when I got upset and cried, she would sit by me and rub my leg, or put her arm around me, pull me in and hold me, but she quit doing that after about 5 months (I see her twice a week). No warning, no discussion, she just quit, and let me figure it out. And she wonders why I have issues and fears now of her taking anything away. For lack of a better word, her actions retraumatized me seriously, and two years later I'm still a mess. It seemed to provoke a downward spiral in me, and I can't seem to get myself out of it.
__________________
~It's not how much we give but how much love we put into giving~ |
![]() DodgersMom, growlycat, precaryous
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#60
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i do not blame you at all for how you feel after. i sometimes don't think they realize how much stuff like this can mess with us |
![]() Anonymous37961
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#61
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My t is psychoanalytically trained and is kind of a blank slate. So, essentially she is not very warm and a little rigid perhaps. I experience ET with her and have told her about it. She is also about my age. I don't think touch will be a possibility at all. I yearn for it though. I suppose I would give her a bear hug if possible and not want to leave her for as long as I can!
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#62
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My T will hug me if I ask him to, but he never offers. It took a long time to get to that point and it only came after I got mad and accused him of treating me like an untouchable. Not my proudest moment in therapy.
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![]() Anonymous37961, growlycat
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#63
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I wouldn't be comfortable having a panic attack in front of anyone, I would be embarrassed probably. But less so in front of my T, I think, as she would understand what was happening. I wouldn't need her physical touch to comfort me, but I do think it would help. (My hands shake a lot when I panic so for her to grab them and hold them steady would be nice.) But she is comforting with words alone.
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stay afraid, but do it anyway. |
#64
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Well he and I did not discuss safe touch, topics went elsewhere so I am still unsure but he kept my notes about my touching issues to continue next week so maybe then
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![]() Argonautomobile
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#65
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We hug at the end of pretty much every appointment. She initiated it when we started discussing painful stuff. She asked if she could give me a hug and I accepted. After a few weeks of her asking we just started ending each session with a hug without her asking. Although we didn't last week but it wasn't until I was driving home that I realized it. We were talking as we we were walking to the door about non therapy stuff. AsI went to walk out the door she massaged my arm a bit...which she sometimes does after a hug. So I don't think it was an intentional that we didn't hug. Touch is a hard thing for me. She knows I will never approach or ask for a hug. I don't want them to feel obligated or to infringe on their personal space.
With newT she did put her hand out for a handshake...
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![]() DodgersMom
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#66
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i struggle a lot with touch too. i also struggle with the feeling of being judged so i wont let him hug me if ppl are around. |
#67
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We never ever touch. I think that boundary is there for safety and security. Not that my T would ever touch someone inappropriately, but this way there are no misunderstandings. Also I think I had to take a very big risk to trust T, and adding touch into the equation would be too much for me.
I'm interested to know whether this is different between the US and the U.K. I'm just saying because when I have visited the US I had the impression that people hug more often! not meaning to offend anyone, it was just my impression! On a few occasions I was hugged by people I didn't know all that well. It surprised me but I was ok with it. |
#68
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![]() Anonymous37961
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![]() DodgersMom
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