Hugging/Touching in therapy?

Anyone's T ever hug, hold or touch them (like pat on the back, etc)? How often? Who initiates?

My T and I have hugged 4 times now, he always asks and gives me the chance to say no. It's due to a lot of issues I have being hugged but I feel safe with him so its been helpful so far

He has said that due to my other issues with touch, he is willing to work on safe touch exercise with me but we didn't get time to discuss it more so I'm not sure what that involves.... anyone know?

I kinda have a desire to be held by him... as I have never experienced that with a person but I'm far too scared to ask that, it feels too creepy... does anyone do that with their T?

My T would offer a hug at the end of sessions. Particularly after really heavy sessions. I only ever asked once. I think that was a need in her!

She would hold my hands to ground me and once when I was having a really bad panic attack she knelt down in front of me and rubbed my arms to calm me down.

She was an incredible T and I always felt completely safe in her presence.

I have not hugged my T. I think she's grasped my shoulder a few times.

Dang! I want your T! Lol

I hug my T fairly regularly. I always initiate. He initiated the conversation about touch which came a couple of months before the first hug.
We've held hands a few times. I've always initiated that too.

I do this with M... after about a year of working together he started offering to hold my hand when I started panicking or shutting down in session.

I was nervous about it at first because I have many issues surrounding touch and hadn't allowed anyone to touch me in several years at that point. But it felt secure and safe-- and I had always had a desire to be held, which to me felt secret, wrong, and shameful.

At one session I was doing particularly badly so M moved his chair over to mine and reached out for my hand as we'd been doing. But I was too upset to even hold myself up and I sort of collapsed into him. When I realized what happened- that he was holding me- I got very uncomfortable. But I did a little checklist in my head and everything felt logically safe and ok, so I decided to try it out. He asked me to check in with my breathing, and to listen to his breathing too, to help regulate myself. It was very healing and I was surprised by how relaxed and easy I felt at the end of the session.

Now we've done this several times-- the routine is that if he notices I'm becoming disregulated, he'll offer to hold me. We go to the floor and he puts a pillow in his lap for a little separation, which I am very glad for, and I climb into his lap any way I like and he holds me. It is very important to him that I am comfortable and being held exactly the way I want. It is sort of like a massage in that he asks about pressure, placement, etc. At the end we separate slowly and conscientiously.

A few sessions ago I made a big change-- I didn't wait for him to notice I wasn't doing well, I went ahead myself and asked for a hug. It felt big and risky but of course he said "of course!"

We don't do any greeting or parting touch, except once in a while he'll put a hand on my shoulder or something.

I feel much less ashamed about my need for touch now, and I've noticed I'm beginning to be less weird about touch from friends/ acquaintances/ colleagues, too.

Current t hugs almost every session. Sometimes at the beginning and end. It didn't start this way. But once we had the conversation about if I would want it or not and what it means we were good to go. I love his hugs!! He is a tall broad shouldered guy so they feel all encompassing. Other ts offered touch in a limited way but I feel lucky to have a t as tactile as I am.

With L we don't touch at all, ever, and it's never come up, though I think I would like a hug from her. I would probably be in the same place with M if he didn't make the first move. I hate the idea of asking for touch. It brings up all sorts of sad memories for me.

I told my T from the beginning that touch is really important to me. I wasn't ready for hugs in the beginning though. It took me about six months. Then we talked about it. She said she only does hugs; no hand touching or rubbing a shoulder or sitting next to me. She then wanted to know why it was important. For me, touch is a way to guage the relationship. You can tell a lot from a hug: how they hold you, how close, how tight, how long, etc. And it's a way to let me know that everything is alright. Then a couple weeks later, I finally got the courage and asked for my hug. Ever since, we've hugged at the end of every session. We don't ask each other. We just get up and hug.

Well I seem to be in the minority here. I have never touched my T in any way, not even a greeting handshake, I also can't imagine her even offering or myself ever asking.
That's not to say I don't want it, I would love nothing more than for her to hug me, hold my hand, anything! I just am going off my gut feeling which tells me if I was to ask her answer would be no, and I'd be too distraught to face her again.
I have brought up the occasional hint but all have gone unnoticed or unmentioned by her which leads me to further believe the answer is definitely no!
It's such a deal for me right now. She has been an amazing help throughout my time with her and I would say she is almost the perfect T for me, but she's not because of the lack of touch!
Please read my mind when I see you next!

My last therapist and I hugged all the time
And he would sit next to me with an arm around me and hold me while I cried
Took 2 years to get to that point, but yeah

There's no physical touch with my current therapist

After the first few months, she always held my hand, held me, and hugged me. It was an either or thing on who initiated touch each session dependent on where I was at that particular moment. Now, I would not need that kind of intesity utilizing touch in therapy if I ever went back continuous therapy. I will say that I missed it for a while after termination when difficult issues came up, but I was and still do call on those memories to comfort me if needed. Previously in my life nothing good could hook together or come to mind to provide comfort. I was a repository for bad memories and my physical body was keeping score. It was extra painful to have a mind and body that failed me. For me, touch hastened the therapy process.

Before, I never knew about touch in therapy, but now I would never go to a therapist who did not at least offer hugs at the end of a session.

Touch is so healing! My t gives hugs every session! And on hard sessions, she holds my had, or pats my leg.

Hand holding is one of my biggest anxieties.... I ASSUME this falls under the safe touch plan so he probably is thinking of it, it would be very hard for me but maybe I could get there. I also don't know if I can ever initiate any touch. You are brave there

Did you just outright ask him to hold you? Thank goodness for the pillow haha, would be a bit crazy otherwise. That is awesome he does that for you though

One of my most healing experiences came with handholding. I have like an internal trembling when I discuss trauma that you wouldn't be able to see. When I held his hand he felt that. It was a part of me nobody else had experienced before. We just sat in silence until the trembling subsided. I felt I was sharing something which had previously been a very lonely experience.

That is awesome.... was it weird at all to do that?

The idea of holding anyone's hand is so anxiety provoking for me and I'm unsure why I feel like it would probably be helpful/healing like hugs have been but I feel like I'd be too scared to do it. It sounds dumb but it feels "wrong" to me to touch people.

Not quite outright that last time, I believe he said something like, "is there anything you can think of that would help you feel safer right now?" and I said "I think I want a hug." He'd asked me that question many times before and my usual stupid answer was that I didn't know.

But yeah, I'm glad for the pillow thing. Otherwise nuh uh no way no how, it'd be awkward side hugs for me. It's also good because I can't like, accidentally knee him!

I guess I'm a weirdo, but I prefer no touch! Lol

You can share my T then, as she seems to be one of the few that don't touch on these boards haha!

You might be surprised if you ask. I asked my ex-Pdoc for a hug. I never thought she'd be okay with it, but I had to ask. She said so long as it was beneficial to the client it was okay! I was shocked. We didn't hug every appointment, but every time I asked, she gave me a hug. And my ex-Pdoc did not seem like the hugging type at all. She was very professional and kind of stern. But I had an attachment to her anyways and wanted a hug.

I believe it is better to ask and get a no then to not ask and possibly miss out on the touch.

I agree with the better to ask than miss out part. Good advice for sure!

Calilady-- I am usually a no touch type but I do have a desire to work through my issues. It has held me back from so much in life... but right now all I can allow is hugs with permission.

We use touch in my therapy, quite a lot. I looked for a T who was aware of the importance of it for some people, and who was willing to do this with me. She initiated it at first, asking if I would like a hug after a few sessions and asking if she could hold my hands while kneeling in front of me during a pretty tough time.

We took tentative steps along the way, with both of us adking at times, but eventually it just became natural and spontaneous from either side.

We hug at the end of every session, and in session we hold hands, and hug, and she holds me.

I find that it really helps me access emotions, and express them. I don't think that I would be able to do that without the touch, though I am making progress and it is becoming easier to do now without it.

Recently, things have been very difficult, and what is in me is really hidden right now, but in session today she reached out her hand and asked if she could hold mine (after a few sessions of no physical contact between us because I have not trusted her). I remembered in that moment that she was safe, and that she was there, so I leant in and put my head on the shoulder as she held me and rubbed my back. I really felt everything that had no words in that moment. All the hurt and the sadness that was locked away was allowed a place, right there, and I cried silently on her shoulder. I would not have been able to do that without the touch. It allowed me to express that.

Ask your T about it when you next meet, and I hope that you can work with them how you want to, in a way that is healing for you. Practicing safe touch with someone 'safe' can be very powerful, I think.

We hug hello and goodbye.

i plan to. its in my notes for tuesday

i am so terrified though. i don't even understand why it feels so wrong to me, i have no sexual abuse history.... i feel like I'm just insane.

the issue i worry though, is say i do become out with it with him, how do i transfer that to people i dont trust or feel safe with?

I rarely hug my parents. I feel like they are "off limits"...so I just kinda say,
"I only live once and I want to feel all of it" and sometimes will hug them.