The Couch 148: Boby

Awww I've sort of always wanted to have chickens

My youngest sister and I used to amuse ourselves by looking at those mail-order live chick catalogues and designing our dream flock, with all the most outrageous looking breeds.

Yeah, we had a very stimulating childhood.

You're joking, right? Please tell me you're joking.

nah, I was dead serious

(Of course I was joking!)

I just woke up so my sarcasm detector wasn't fully warmed up. I was irrationally triggered

People who say those kind of things for real...i just can't.

It's the perfect chicken soup day, I would like to venture out for ingredients.... but it's scary weathertimes outside

I'm thinkin celery, leek, scallion, carrot, jerusalem artichoke, parsnipities
And chicken, duh

Thanks for the laugh.

I had four different nightmares last night. And I didn't even take anything to sleep.

In my dream last night I could tap my fingernails 5 times and they would be polished lol

I think it just means I been thinking too much.

Sorry you had so many nightmares.

Aieee! Youre a manicurist's nightmare!

My apartment's all full of nice chicken soup smells

Mostly veggie-ful smells because I'm trying not to cheat and add consomme flavoring

But I forgot the celery!!!

Maybe throw in some dried dill?

There's an entire bunch of fresh dill, roots n all

I added a little celery seed and coriander to try and make up for it

It was really cool, though. 5 more taps would change the color, too. I actually tried it when I woke up. You know, just in case.

Finished at the doctors office. Not pregnant, boo. He refilled my prescriptions, now I'm off to have lunch.

Hugs to all who want or need.

Cool. Free Amazon prime for 6 months cuz I'm a student. Already ordered something lol

And I'm sending out hugs to those who want/need too. The feels keep sneaking up on me but I'm dealing. I know in the grand scheme of life this is just a little thing. It only feels big in the middle of it.

At random moments they (the feels) hit me and I tear up a little. Then I'm ok again. It needs to stop.

I think this is what SD meant the other day when they were saying that you dismiss or distance yourself from the emotion. I can't quite remember how they said it. But it's okay to feel how you feel. RoboT says that the more you push against something you're feeling, the stronger you're going to feel that thing.

It makes sense that your feelings are coming in waves. You're in the process of trying to let go of a relationship that has been very important to you. There's going to be grief with any loss. You're okay, Art.

In random news, some random Spanish speaking person started texting me. They were asking me who I was, and I was like, "who am I? WHO ARE YOU??"

Thanks daisydid. You're right of course. An ongoing piece of my work in therapy was letting myself feel. On one hand I'm all about feelings and trusting them above all else but at the same time I tend to become them when they're strong and that's when I push against them. I don't know how to "just" feel them without becoming them, which t never could understand, maybe because I can't explain it any better than that. It's good though that they are coming in waves because I am feeling them in little chunks today between calls at work, cry a little then get a call and dry my eyes and carry on, until the next time. It helps a lot to talk here. Thanks for putting up with me.

Trust me, if I could give any actual advice about accepting your emotions, I don't think I'd be in therapy myself. I'm the person who becomes engulfed in my feelings, and because I fear that intensity, I try to push back on the feelings.

It's a process for sure. I can't speak for everyone else, but I'm always happy to listen. I'm glad we're able to be helpful

I use Terro brand liquid baits...or Terro anything. Can't let your animals get ahold and chew on them, tho..

Terro works for me.

Art, I saw this on fb and I'm not sure of the source. "If you focus on the hurt, you will continue to suffer. If you focus on the lesson, you will continue to grow."

I know, simple but not easy. It helps me, though.

That's what E was saying yesterday, I guess huh. Thank you!!!
Eta the seeing it as a gift I can use for growth.