Dear T : I Need To Tell You Something, but Don't Know How... (Part XXVI)

I'd like to think so but I do live out in the country, where (at least my) pickings are rather slim....

Please tell me I matter.
Please tell me I'm special.
Please tell me that you'll miss me when I'm gone.

Something, anything. Please

You're special. You matter.

I do have a plan. We're moving in a few years time to a smaller apartment and I wasn't included as a household member when they applied for it (public housing) as they expect me to be married and therefore out of the house by then.

I'll probably rent a room from a friend or have to rent with strangers or rent a room from an aunt in the extended family.

hey t, well of course i'm looking forward to seeing you after work today, but you know i still haven't filled out that goals for therapy sheet. the only goal i have right now is ending. i'm hesitant to write that though because i don't want to hurt your feelings. which is dumb, because you already know this.

i know what i said when i came back after quitting in that stupid email. is it wrong that i might want to revisit ending and possibly do it sooner than November? It doesn't seem to matter anymore my whole reason for choosing November.

Ah t... I need you to help me leave you. Do you have it in you? I think you do.

You're the best. I can tell you anything and trust you not to judge

C,

Thank you. For being here. For caring. I don't know why you do, but you do.

T-

Sitting in your waiting room. Do me a favor, can we please not talk about the emails I sent?? Let's just talk about current things. Or focus on the good parts.

Thank you for your emails

I have an idea for how to go about doing the "homework" you asked me to do. Not sure if I'm brave enough.

pdoc,

You feel more like a parent than my real parents.

What does he want you to do?

I've been feeling/thinking exactly the same thing this week.

J,

Thank you for a lovely final session. It really was wonderful. I'm sad. You're a very good therapist. It's hard to say goodbye. Thank you for telling me that you enjoyed working with me and that I was a refreshing client. Thank you for leaving the door open for me to come see you again if wanted or needed...and for telling me I can email you updates on my life as well. (Also, thank you for opening the windows for our session today -- you remembered how much I like that, and that meant a lot to me.) It really was a lovely "see you later." Even if a bit sad.

TMC

I just want to wax lyrical about how much I love you but nobody wants to hear about that so I'll just write it here. I love you.

I really like hearing about therapy that's going well. It counterbalances some of the discouraging posts from people who are struggling. So wax away, if you feel the urge!

Thanks I don't really want to start my own thread or hijack this one but I'll just say this...
We've had a bit of a ruptury time of it and it's been hard. We haven't really had a good routine since June and that's been difficult for me. But today was a reminder that he is an incredibly accepting, kind soul who takes me as I am and shows me love and care always. He genuinely cares about me. And he understands me probably more than anyone else ever has. Ahhhhhh I love him. And I am so very grateful for him.

I love the phrase "having a ruptury time of it." I know exactly what you mean, as I've been there myself. I'm glad things are back on more stable ground for you now!

Dear MC,
I felt kind of sad for you when you were telling the story about which kind of dog your wife wanted vs. the kind you wanted (though the kind you got seems more suited to you--at least as I know you--even though you grew up with the other kind). Plus the story about the adoption inspection for your son. Though maybe it means you're in a better place if you can tell those kinds of stories now?

Part of me wanted to at least briefly address the reassurance thing, since you said we could talk about it in session. Glad when I mentioned it at the end you said we could talk about it whenever I wanted (so it's not like I missed my chance). I do think it's better we had the session we did--it made me feel really connected to you again. (Though maybe that's not such a good thing, I don't know...)
Love,
LT
PS--I can't believe you brought up that beach thing!

Ok let's see if this works it would make my afternoon a lil brighter if you'd text a reminder for today's session....

Dear Dr. S,
Tomorrow, I get to see you tomorrow! I do like having only 2 days (48ish hours between sessions). I don't know if that will make this weekend harder. It is making today easier. I love you.
-me

Umm T...your track record on getting back to me is getting rather rough. What happened to the phone call during lunch today? Its fine, i will probably do it...but, urgh.

Love me, please. Pretty please.