Is anyone else afraid to swear in therapy?

I want to be able to swear in therapy! I know that sounds so damn weird, but I want to do it! Swearing just lets me get my TRUE feelings out and gives me relief. For example, there's a huge difference between "I'm very angry with my mean boss" vs. "I AM F_CKING ANGRY WITH MY G0DDAMN BOSS"

I'm just afraid to swear because I don't know how my therapist will react. (She's a total girly girl and looks high maintenance.)

Now, that's high maintenance thing isn't necessarily a bad thing. It just makes me uncomfortable with swearing for some reason. Like, maybe she'd be disgusted with it because it's not a girly girl thing to say? (i'm a girl.) idk. I feel like I might be able to get away with "sh_t", but definitely not "f_ck" or "g0ddamn" or "b_llshit". I'm afraid she might be put off by that and think negatively about me.

I used to swear with my old therapist (he was a guy), but I ditched him for him being unethical. But I did start off with saying "sh_t" a few times. I did that to test the waters. I gradually worked my way up to "dammit" and then "f_ck", but I only said f_ck once or twice. But with my new T, I'd feel awkward asking if I can swear. "Mrs. T... Can I swear?" lol. I just don't know if I can get away with saying "sh_t". I'm scared! Help!

[atisketatasket]

Every therapist I saw swore - usually way more than me. And the girlier of them were the bigger swearers. Just do it when it feels like you should and see what happens?

[lucozader]

It might be awkward to ask for permission to swear (she can't really stop you from doing it anyway), but I don't think it'd be awkward to just ask what her feelings on it are - find out if it bothers her at all. I very much doubt it does - I think therapists are used to hearing a lot of swearing.

Personally I swear in therapy a lot... really a lot. I never asked if he minds it!

I'm not much of a swearer. I'm mostly a cuss-when-I-stub-my-toe-on-the-coffee-table kind of swearer. But I've been known to cuss in therapy on rare occasion; so has my therapist. I'm not afraid to swear; just not me.

[SoConfused623]

I completely know what you're talking about. I had the cleanest language ever and then one time I was upset and blurted out, "I feel like such a F*cking Loser!" and immediately said, "I'm so sorry!" and covered my mouth. As I was apologizing she said, " A f*cking loser?! You are NOT a F*cking loser! Why do you think that you're a F*cking Loser???" So she said it 3x in about 5 seconds so I knew that it was ok to say it. I've only sworn a few other times and she does NOT seem to mind. I have never heard her swear other than repeating my swears, but I honestly do not think that she cares one bit.

I would recommend that the next time you feel like swearing, do so and see how she reacts. If she seems to mind, simply apologize. I really think that we should be free to be who we are in therapy.

Good luck!

[QueenCopper]

I actually swear more in therapy then I do any other time. 😀 It is a problem for me not to. I have never asked if it bothers her. If she tells me it bothers her I would try to stop but I am pretty angry and upset in therapy most of the time so I cannot make her any promises.

[Wonderfalls]

I don't swear to my t and he doesn't swear back, but he's an adolescent pdoc/t and my guess is he hears plenty of it. I like the idea that if I do want to shock him into realizing something's very important I can. The rarer the more powerful it is.

When I was in therapy I swore all time. I'm pretty sure I swore in every session-several times.

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

Is anyone else afraid to swear in therapy?

I want to be able to swear in therapy! I know that sounds so damn weird, but I want to do it! Swearing just lets me get my TRUE feelings out and gives me relief. For example, there's a huge difference between "I'm very angry with my mean boss" vs. "I AM F_CKING ANGRY WITH MY G0DDAMN BOSS"

I'm just afraid to swear because I don't know how my therapist will react. (She's a total girly girl and looks high maintenance.)

Now, that's high maintenance thing isn't necessarily a bad thing. It just makes me uncomfortable with swearing for some reason. Like, maybe she'd be disgusted with it because it's not a girly girl thing to say? (i'm a girl.) idk. I feel like I might be able to get away with "sh_t", but definitely not "f_ck" or "g0ddamn" or "b_llshit". I'm afraid she might be put off by that and think negatively about me.

I used to swear with my old therapist (he was a guy), but I ditched him for him being unethical. But I did start off with saying "sh_t" a few times. I did that to test the waters. I gradually worked my way up to "dammit" and then "f_ck", but I only said f_ck once or twice. But with my new T, I'd feel awkward asking if I can swear. "Mrs. T... Can I swear?" lol. I just don't know if I can get away with saying "sh_t". I'm scared! Help!

I'm a very girlie girl but swear loads! In fact my language is shocking at times! I haven't sworn loads in therapy but I have an occasional swear word .. but then so has my T which made it feel okay for me to! I don't think therapists are going to judge you on anything so I would just say how you feel

[Unrigged64072835]

My T has sworn before, and so have I. I don't swear a lot, but if it gets the point across I do.
I think Ts should be conditioned to that kind of thing anyway because they're supposed to help people, whether they cuss or not.

When I was IP one time we had this therapist trainee run the sessions (supervised, of course). She had the shock of her life when we talked about PTSD experiences and we swore a bit. We felt she had a long way to go.

Recently my T said f***, c*** and s*** in one session and to me it felt like a triumph!
Of course it's all appropriate and relevant but we have to be our authentic selves in therapy in order for it to be effective, and if part of that is swearing, that should be okay.

I'm not a big swearer but I do sometimes both in therapy and in everyday life. I don't feel that I need to ask permission for it though. I would think that if the idea of therapy is to be able to say anything and everything, then why would swearing be an exception?

[velcro003]

i swear sometimes in therapy, though nowhere to the level i do outside of therapy. i think she dropped a swear early on in therapy, and inside i was like "YASS"

[Elio]

The first time I swore in therapy was to actually tell t "F*** Y** and your beliefs that my life was worth living". I was reading to her a journal entry and got to that statement and stopped. It took a good 5-10 mins before I could say it, we even back tracked on why whatever I was struggling with was a struggle before I went back to the entry reread the previous statement and plowed right through that line. And then I slightly disassociated for the rest of the session and was not able to completely track what she was saying. She did tell me they are powerful words that convey lots of emotions and she too repeated them to try to normalize their usage. Now, well I am not a huge user of profanity in my life so I don't say any of them that often. S*** is the most common. I have cussed her out one other time, again in a letter when I was really pissed off at her. This time I didn't read it to her but had her read it.

[ScarletPimpernel]

All my T's have said upfront that it's okay to swear. I don't swear a lot, but I do agree that sometimes it better expresses the emotion. It's so weird for me though. I hear them cuss and I'm shocked, like how could that ever come out of your mouth! But it also provides comfort because I know I don't have to filter myself. T and I don't cuss that much. Very rarely. But in group...wow, there's a lot of cuss words. More than I'm used to.

[junkDNA]

I swear
My T swears
We swear

My T is always professional dressy so I am always slightly surprised when she swears: f_ck, b_tch, pr_ck, sh_t etc.

Swearing isn't allowed by my fundamentalist Christian parents though I'm an adult and all, so T being Christian and swearing helps somehow though I'm not a Christian anymore.

I used to get punished for swearing so being able to swear in therapy and have it normalised helps. A friend of mine used to suffer burns when he swore innocently as a child, he's really afraid to swear.

[AllHeart]

I just swear. I enjoy it. I don't think anything could prevent me from swearing in front of my therapist or other. After I started swearing in session with my old t, she would do it too. It was a glorious day when she first dropped the f-bomb. She was in her late 60's. I think sometimes my language throws my new t off guard but she doesn't seem offended. Surely wouldn't give a **** if she did. I say let 'er rip!

My whole life I have rarely sweared. Though I went through a period of time swearing a bit on this forum because it felt good because I was anonymous. But I have stopped. I am not really a swearer. I must admit that when I hear it, some people can use it in expressive or funny ways. However, there are others that swear when they are angry and trying to be verbally hurtful toward others. I dislike the latter type of swearing immensely. I have never sweared in front of my T, nor has she ever done it during a session.

[RainyDay107]

Blue, yesterday in session I referred to my prior unethical T with profanity. I said, "that f@cker." Then I thought "oops" but it just fit at the time. lol

I don't think my T minded.

[Travelinglady]

I would think she has heard swearing before. I don't swear (I think my therapist hopes I will one day!), but I have a feeling my therapist does with certain patients. What concerns me is you sound like you need to "baby" your therapist. Heck ( ), I think you should say whatever you need to say how you need to say it, and if she gets upset, then find another therapist.

[sem101989]

Totally something worth talking about. I don't swear much in therapy, occasionallu sh_t slips out. My therapist swears more than me, though, usually to emphasize. I will say that I know my abuser is "not a great person". She will refer to him as an SOB. I guess it just depends. I really think you should ask, since watching your words in therapy seems stressful and unecessary.

[NP_Complete]

During one of our first sessions I asked about swearing because I really felt uncomfortable not knowing if it was ok. I told him "My favorite word is f_ck". His response was "You can swear. I don't f_cking care." I knew we'd be a good fit from that moment.
ETA, I'm female, if that matters.

[junkDNA]

My T and I curse all the ****ing time

[stopdog]

No. I have absolutely no concerns about swearing in therapy.