The Couch 150: Ceci n'est pas un couch

I am trying to sleep but can't because I have a butt cramp that's like, travelling down my whole leg

This is so dumb

Butt cramp, seriously??

That sounds miserable. May your butt cramp stop very soon.

I should sleep too instead of listening to depressing music. Night all.

Sciatica?

H has been in jail a little over three weeks now. Tonight, for some reason, I keep thinking he's going to show up in the doorway and start yelling at me for making too much noise or something. ...sigh...

Hugs... How long will he be in jail?

(morning couch... I skipped most that was written during the last night... Sorry... Too many trigger warnings that I'm not feeling up to reading. Sorry.)

I don't know. He has a court date in one week. He's facing a lengthy prison sentence if he gets convicted of what he's charged with. Right now I'm trying to decide if I want to get a restraining order against him since he was threatening to kill me and he put his hands on me at least twice before he decided to start a fire in the middle of our living room. I'm not sure if it matters at this point.

I think one reason this has been so hard is that he's getting punished, but not for abusing me for two decades. I wish he was getting punished for the abuse, not the fire. That's one reason I think getting the restraining order is a good idea. At least his abuse will be officially on the record even though the overt physical abuse only started recently. I don't know if anything I just said makes any sense.

It also sucks because I miss him right now. He was threatening to kill me and I miss him. What does that say about me?

This man was a huge part of your life for twenty years. Missing him is natural. All it says about you is that you have a heart.

What ATAT said. You've been in a relationship with this man for a very long time. Missing him says about you that you miss him. That's okay. I know society wants women in abusive relationships to immediately leave and demonize their SO, but I think it's important to grieve in your own time.

Get the restraining order if you wish. That is a legal recourse that is available to you. Do you want him to also be tried for abuse? Have you talked with the DA that's assigned to his case about it? If that's what you want, it probably wouldn't hurt to set up a meeting with them.

I think it's more about people being uncomfortable with it. Other people. Saving them from the discomfort?? Which I don't agree with either

Did you get the unicorn head at hobby lobby

If I was delusional enough to think H would let me hang a unicorn head in my house, I'd break my Hobby Lobby boycott for that.

So in the most effing hilarious turn of events, I took my ovulation test this morning and I did end up ovulating from my last round of the medication.

My blow up with T yesterday all started because I was feeling super upset about not ovulating.

God what have I done.

So the medication is working, Daisy?! That's AMAZING news!!

It looks like it, which is a huge surprise.

((¡¡Daisy!!))

I have some sciatica-like stuff from an old back injury but no... this was just good old fashioned crampus buttum

In case you need an update on my butt, it's gone now!

Eta, for clarity- the cramp is gone, not my butt, though there was never much of one to begin with

.... in greek, pyggialgia????

Take a few letters out and you have it - pygalgia.

Which of course can be metaphorical as well as physical.

I believe my experience encompasses both

Glad that your butt isn't gone!

The prosepct of buttlessness really doesn't sit well with me. I'd like to put the whole thing behind us.

I cancelled my session

Yup.

Morning everyone...Daisy, I'm so happy for you. And don't worry, we're hormonal by nature, we're women. Your SO should understand that.

I do the same as you do, Healed.

Thanks to those who shares their thoughts in both cutting and the more light hearted discussion of t emails!