[MissCharlotte]

Tomorrow I will see T. I think I need to finally address the issue of couples therapy. I think I might propose using one of my two sessions every other week to do some couples work. Wish me luck.

Please note the operative words here are think and might.

[Perna]

Just talking about it a bit first sounds like a good idea. Work into it slowly and get comfortable (or not in which case you won't do it).

Good luck tomorrow!

Good luck Sister!! My T suggested couples therapy for me and my husband, but he doesn't do couples therapy with someone that he is seeing for individual-- so we would have to go to someone else for that. I personally agree with T 100% on that-- I know that many Ts see couples and then see one of the indivduals from the couple for one-on-one. I could never imagine doing couples with T. But anyway my husband said, "no way" for couples therapy so I don't have to worry about that, grrrrrrrr. Have you spoken to your husband about it already?

[sunrise]

Hi sister, have you talked with your T about this before? Does he want to do couples therapy with you and your husband right now? I think it is very helpful to have individual sessions while you are doing couples work. Some of my early couples sessions were so painful, I needed those individual sessions to help work through the pain. I had couples session every week and individual every other week. One thing that my T does is whenever he works with a couple, he offers each person individual therapy also. I already was my T's client when we began couples therapy, but my husband was not, so my T offered him individual sessions also. My husband did not take advantage of this, but I was prepared if he had said yes. I don't know if your T will do that also. My T and I talked quite a bit about doing couples therapy before we actually began. He warned me multiple times about how hard it might be, how I could feel abandoned by him, etc. Despite these warnings, there were indeed sessions when I felt really abandoned, misunderstood, and ignored. On the flip side, I really enjoyed watching my T in action with another client, and watching how he formed a relationship with my husband. It was awesome to watch him in action!

Not all therapists can provide therapy to both individuals and couples, but it sounds like your T can. My T has training in this (family systems therapy), and I think it really helps if they have that experience. One thing to work out beforehand is what you hope to accomplish in couples therapy. And of course talk with your husband about your joint goals.

Best of luck with this. It can really be so helpful.

[lauren_helene]

Well we all know my husband's stance on couples therapy

I wish you luck with it! My T initially saw me and then my husband and I a few times and my husband alone once.

I can tell you this from that experience. I would not have accomplished what I have so far if we would have continued doing all types of therapy under my T.

The reason is he and I needed to build our relationship and when he was doing couples therapy, at times, he was pissing me the hell off quite frankly

But that was his job and he did it well. I think it would've hurt my progress in the long term. I didn't see that at the time but I do now. So I guess it's good my husband backed out but he still needs a therapist.

I hope this helps you a bit.