Can't stand couples anymore!!!!!!!!

To all the couples out there: Do you have any idea how much your single friends are suffering? Do you ever bother to call them like you used to? Remember how close friends you used to be and how much they helped you when you were in need?
Yes, I am single. I am always single. But being single is not what bothers me. What really surprises me is the disappearing act from my friends as soon as they couple up with someone. I was also once with some guy, but still, I gave the same attention and the same love to my friends as I've always had. Nothing changed with me. So why can't other people do the same for me?
I hate couples. Couples don't invite you anymore to anything (although you try to adjust yourself to their new interest such as the new grass mower or the baby crib, etc). You don't fit with them anymore and you are now considered as a threat to their "stable" life. Couples feel sorry for you for "sleeping in a cold bed at night" or for not experiencing motherhood. On one hand they always remind you of the clock ticking but on the other they never try to introduce you to their single guy friend that they know.....cause they just love watching you suffer in your single life....it makes them feel better in their "till death do us part" choice that they made. Couples suck!
If you are coupled-up and you have single friends, go to the damn phone now and call them! Ask them how they are doing and don't start talking about the baby again!

sorry you are having a rough time. I am married but still have single friends that we do things with. I am sorry your coupled friends are like that.

Oh dear, so sorry about this. I can totally relate to that. Friends hang on so as to have a shoulder to cry on etc. But as soon as they bag a boyfriend, they forget all about you.

Sorry, don't have any words of advice, just to say to you that you are a good friend and they are not. And in the long run, it is their loss. That's what I try to tell myself anyway

((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ (((((((( HUGS )))))))

I am SORRY that you are feeling left out and saddened by your friends lack of attention.... if the marriage is fairly new, be patient, for their constant time together will start to fade a little and then you will be able to step back into the world of having a friend to share life with again.

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

But it isn't just during their marriage. Even when they are just boyfriend-girlfriends they just seem to try and avoid contact with you. Especially the females in the relationship! Most of my female friends have never invited me to go out with them when their boyfriend was there. This really insults me. What does this mean? That I would steal him from them? Are they stupid? Do they not know me at all! Where did all our years of friendship go? Really, what a mess. Now I am only collecting wedding invitations to go and see them getting married to unknown people. I don't want to go. Before they got involved we were all on the phone arranging our nights out. Now everybody's gone. Even my own brother has a girlfriend now. I am begging him to come visit me. He said that he would come only if he could bring his girlfriend! WTF?! I want to spend time with him alone! I don't want to spend time watching them slurp each other and talking to each other while I am in the kitchen cooking for them! Talking about leading a loser's life, huh? You know what the worst part is? The worst part is that I actually catch myself feeling this evil happiness and satisfaction whenever I hear of a disfunction or the break-up of a couple that I know. I hate myself when this happens. I don't want to feel like this, really. Suddenly I find myself with a buddy again. Suddenly I get a phonecall again. We catch up on lost time...or should I say wasted time. Even though I know well that this resurrected friendship is again a temporary one, I still go with it. You know? Whatever!

Sweetie as much as I know it hurts right now.... people are just in LOVE and when LOVE happens between two hearts the other person becomes one with them - they cannot be separated at the moment.... can YOU not learn to enjoy the couple just a little as to have your own needs meet as well?

If I may ask? - who left you all alone and needing many many many years ago?


LoVe,
Rhapsody - (((( hugs ))))

I agree, people may be in love but still, I was in love once myself, however I made room for eveyrbody! There are only few couples that I do enjoy to be with because they don't make such a big fuss out of their happiness.
Nobody left me alone because nobody was ever there. It is possible that I am not able to understand a couple's world because -saddly- it has never happened to me the way it was supposed to. Everybody sees interesting things and clicks with everybody else while I am always left aside. I am always "in the meantime" girl, the one guys pick until they find a better one. Most of the time I feel like a rug that people use to wipe their shoes on.

Oh my god, I can so relate! I find that since I broke up with my ex 8 months ago, I still cant stand couples. When I see them holding hands walking down the street, I just flash back to all the things my ex and I did. Its just so painful.

Sorry that you're going through this. I guess us singles have to be ok with being single. No, it doesnt help when we feel pitied or left out...

I also feel like EVERYONE I know is in a relationship! What is with that, I wonder. Its like people cant stand being alone.

Anyway, just thought I'd share my view on it and to show you that you're not the only one who feels this way!

((((valexand))))

Oh no, so sorry you feel this way, I feel your anger. I think, personally, that being single has it's pros that a coupled relationship don't. There's nothing wrong with being single. But it is sad to lose friends when they pair up, I've had that happen to me before. I think if somebodies your true friend they would not allow you to feel neglected and they would make sure your included in the fun. If they don't then they're probably not real friends. So sorry your going through this.

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valexand said:
Nobody left me alone because nobody was ever there. It is possible that I am not able to understand a couple's world because -saddly- it has never happened to me the way it was supposed to. Everybody sees interesting things and clicks with everybody else while I am always left aside.

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I think you just answered your own question here...... WHY CAN'T I STAND COUPLES:

For they have some thing that you NEVER did and it hurts deeply down within you, in that spot that no one else can see or hear, but you..... and it is screaming loudly to you and it holds a death sentence for your internal HAPPINESS.

One must heal that which lies below in order to be able to see the rainbow in the light of darkness.


LoVe,
Rhapsody - ((( hugs )))

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Remember how close friends you used to be and how much they helped you when you were in need?

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This works in reverse, too. Try being someone who JUST became single and see how fast your "coupled" friends run away from you! Hell!! Even single people that used to be your friends and would do anything for you suddenly don't have the time any more!

Most people are pretty self-centered and self-absorbed these days. No more sense of community!

I have been a coupled person for 30 yrs. and have many single friends ,I call them all the time they come over and we do things together, sounds like ya just need to find the right couple
Angie

(((((Valex))))))

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. this is a hard one. there are some couples and some singles that i don't WANT to be around. and i've certainly been "dumped" by a woman friend when she "hooked" up with a man.

i think as i've become older, it doesn't matter to me where my friends come from. if they are going to be your friend...you've got one. if not....you didn't have one in the first place.

i have gay single friends, straight single friends, married gay/straight couples and my daughters are my friends. so, i guess we just learn to be patient and also try and cultivate as we go.

xoxoxox pat

people are so different when you hang with them as individuals.... i prefer one on one situations mostly. The thing about couples being soooo coupled, and women being afraid you'd be after their man, phoooey....... stomp stomp stomp!!!
i'd be pissed off too.

You know....you are so right!!!! This is true!!! My friends were totally different when they were single! Different personalities. Now when I see them together with some other person they change into something else. They barely remind me of how they used to be. Their personality has been altered so that it could take the shape of what "their significant other" wants to see!!

YES..... we as humans can be great shape shifters for the many diff people in our lives.

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

(((((Valex))))))))) I wish I knew exactly what to say to take away your pain which is so evident. Funny thing is what is happening to you happened to me in reverse. I got married and all my friends stopped calling and stuff. They wanted nothing to do with a married woman. Even though I was the exact same person that they hung out with while I was dating, once married they dropped me like a hot potato... boy i think my age showed with that statement.. I am 49, but doesn't mean I can't understand.
To me I have had many many fair weather friends, now that I am ill and could really use friendship those friends are gone because I am sick.. the only true friend I have is my husband of the last 20 yrs who is there for me as much as possible or as much as I let him, sometimes
I really wish I knew what else to say to you, you are not alone in the lonely department, many here can understand that. You are also not alone in the anger department
I really hope that you feel better very very soon and make some friends who don't leave when something else comes along. I just wish I knew what or how to say what I feel.. take care alright. Linda

Hi Valexand,

I am sorry you are experiencing this. I am with someone, but I still make time for my closest friend, who is single. I would never neglect him or our friendship, he is a part of my life, and just because I'm with someone doesn't mean I would stop being his friend. We make it a point to get together at least once a week. I know what you mean, though. I know people who do this, it's like the minute they find someone it's like you don't exist anymore. I have had so called friends do this to me, and I vowed not to do that to someone else. Not all couples are like the ones you described, but I can sure understand your frustration.

Best Wishes,
Sujin