Couch 153: Couch slouch

One day at a time.

No. I haven't that sounds so frightening. I honestly hope she's okay.

I don't think she is in London.

I am trying to get myself to call M, he said it would be ok to call this week if things were getting bad, and things are bad, why can't I do it

He would want you to call, I think.

Just finished one more task concerning my person. Some days are okay and some I am just bowled over by grief

I wish I could call T

I left a voicemail. I am panicking and I don't know why and can't stop. But I have rehearsal 3:30-6:30 and 7:30 to 10 and then I have a two hour drive home, so ai can't take a lorazepam

)))sd((( and (((jdna)))

She's not in London. Still, pretty scary.

I am going to hang out with you guys for bext few minutes until rehearsal starts

You can do it, Anais!

I don't know that I can. The stage is changing colors, I don't get it

Take a breath - you got this!

I maybe wrong but I thought she was in Ireland, because she mentioned a bomb scare near somewhere that the IRA had targeted previously.

I think England, but not London.

I'm filling out the intake for for potential new T and trying to be honest with the "what prompted you to make this appointment." All I can think is that he'll read that and be thinking, "run away, run away, before she becomes attached to me, too!"

Do you get a sense of whether he's from the "attachment is good" camp or the "attachment gets in the way" camp? I almost hope you do get attached and that he helps you deal with it productively. But then I'm finding out that getting the close therapy relationship you want is also intense and stressful in its own way.

She's not in London and she's fine.

Echos Myron! Somehow I missed that you are now Runcible.

I guess because every time I read your new username, I just thought...

they dined on mince
and slices of quince
which they ate with...

well, you know the rest.

Glad Luc's okay

Hi Argo! I wrote a hello I'm back sort of post on the couch and just naively assumed everyone had read it. Then it occurred to me that people really didn't know it was me, so I put it in my statusy thing.
Glad you spotted it! And that you enjoyed the Lear reference

((Couch)) thank you guys for thinking of me. I'm just tired and sad and hibernating or something.

I am pretty near London, and I have a lot of friends there. It looks like things could have been a hell of a lot worse this time, but I do always feel scared when something like this happens.

Sigh.

I was trying to get that read from MC when I asked him about him. He seemed positive about me trying him out--wasn't like, "Oh he's an awful choice for working on attachment issues!"

Part of me thinks it would help to get attached and work through it with him (and see that it's not so much about MC himself...), but then part of me is scared of that, especially if he's not good at handling that sort of thing.

I probably should have just been open about the transference thing on the initial phone call, but oh well. I was open that I wanted to talk about some issues I was having with my T and MC. He seemed very friendly on the call and also in the couple e-mails we've exchanged, so he doesn't seem too buttoned-up or anything. And he also works a lot with teens and young adults like MC does, so I'm hoping that's a positive sign. I mean, I'd like to think that if he can deal with a teenager, he can deal with me!

I'm so furious and sad. I just got called a dumb b***h by a caller, but I'm used to that. It was just the cherry on top of the pile of crap that is my day.

Found out this afternoon that I didn't get "my" job. My 4th attempt at getting a promotion and my 4th no. I'm realizing that this position is the pinnacle, while I only intended it to be a stepping stone. And I'm pretty much burnt out on it after 6 years. Blergh. My close coworker got the job, which means I am now being given all her duties. For.No.Money.Whatsoever.

Turns out I don't interview well, which means d*ck to me, but apparently you have to be able to talk about yourself in the interview room in order to do a job proficiently. And I should study. So I could have prepared answers. To unknown questions!

Sorry for whining, couch. I'm definitely falling off the wagon tonight. And if I don't hit my head on the way down I'll be doing great!

Hello, couch. Hugs or other appropriate greetings to all.

Today was the best day. Both of my coteachers went full out for my birthday. The kids were also very excited to sing to me. I got to watch my sociopathic assistant principal get a pie in the face. And I leave for vacation in the morning. Now I need to pack and clean my house.