Couch 155: The International Operator

CantExplain · Oct 18, 2017, 02:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Demunie

Yes... There's blood in it but no infection so apparently not their problem... They told me to see my gyn if I don't believe them.

I'd do just that.

Lemoncake · Oct 18, 2017, 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by daisydid

So normally I don't post from work, but I kind of just want to vomit out everything that's going on so that I can move on.

A couple of weeks ago H and I discovered that our cats had fleas. We're not exactly sure how they got them as they're indoor cats, but we hypothesize that our female cat got them when she ran out into the hall one day of our apartment complex, which is a common area. Other units in our building have both cats and dogs.

Anyway, we've been treating both cats at home since we discovered that they had fleas. Our female cat had been incredibly lethargic for about the last week or so. H has been looking for a vet that could see her for a couple of days. I noticed this morning that she was wheezing very heavily.

I called H during my lunch break to ask him how she was doing or if he had a chance to take her to an emergency vet (which is what we decided on). She died before he was able to get her in to see anyone.

I feel like a really f****** lousy cat mommy right now. She'd been sick for a while and we should have done something sooner. I've had to teach a class since I found out and it didn't go very well. I'm glad today that my planning period is at the end of the day. I'm just trying to grieve.

What isn't helpful is that I have an IEP meeting after school.

Possible trigger:

All I really want to do is go home and SH. I feel so guilty about all of this.

Sigh. I hope the rest of the couch is doing well. I don't have the energy to read what I've missed. Hugs for everyone who wants or needs them.

So sorry for your loss, but it's not your fault Daisy. You couldn't have known.

DP_2017 · Oct 18, 2017, 02:53 PM

My dog's casket arrived today, reality is hitting me more now, but I can't bring myself to open the box

NP_Complete · Oct 18, 2017, 03:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by daisydid

So normally I don't post from work, but I kind of just want to vomit out everything that's going on so that I can move on.

A couple of weeks ago H and I discovered that our cats had fleas. We're not exactly sure how they got them as they're indoor cats, but we hypothesize that our female cat got them when she ran out into the hall one day of our apartment complex, which is a common area. Other units in our building have both cats and dogs.

Anyway, we've been treating both cats at home since we discovered that they had fleas. Our female cat had been incredibly lethargic for about the last week or so. H has been looking for a vet that could see her for a couple of days. I noticed this morning that she was wheezing very heavily.

I called H during my lunch break to ask him how she was doing or if he had a chance to take her to an emergency vet (which is what we decided on). She died before he was able to get her in to see anyone.

I feel like a really f****** lousy cat mommy right now. She'd been sick for a while and we should have done something sooner. I've had to teach a class since I found out and it didn't go very well. I'm glad today that my planning period is at the end of the day. I'm just trying to grieve.

What isn't helpful is that I have an IEP meeting after school.

Possible trigger:

All I really want to do is go home and SH. I feel so guilty about all of this.

Sigh. I hope the rest of the couch is doing well. I don't have the energy to read what I've missed. Hugs for everyone who wants or needs them.

I'm so sorry.

Losing a pet is so hard. Take some time for yourself tonight.

stopdog · Oct 18, 2017, 03:46 PM

DD - sorry to hear about your cat. It is hard to lose a pet.

LonesomeTonight · Oct 18, 2017, 04:19 PM

I'm so sorry, Daisy

You're not a bad cat mommy--you had no idea it would get this bad this fast.

atisketatasket · Oct 18, 2017, 05:00 PM

DD--so sorry. I still feel guilty over senior cat's death. Honestly, you did the best you could.

On fleas, btw, indoor cats are not immune. They can get in through screens, ventilation, etc.

Oct 18, 2017, 05:11 PM

Thanks everyone. I’m planning on eating my feelings. Best flavor of Oreos? I like the birthday cake and lemon ones.

atisketatasket · Oct 18, 2017, 05:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by daisydid

Thanks everyone. I’m planning on eating my feelings. Best flavor of Oreos? I like the birthday cake and lemon ones.

I really like the coconut Oreo thins. I think there's also salted caramel?

StressedMess · Oct 18, 2017, 05:18 PM

(((Daisy))) I'm sorry about your kitty. Lemon Oreo please! I'm eating eggnog ice cream for dinner and I don't even care to have real food.

junkDNA · Oct 18, 2017, 05:31 PM

I feel the same about my previous cats death daisy. Hugs

Polibeth · Oct 18, 2017, 05:36 PM

Daisy, I'm sorry about your cat. We had almost the exact same situation in June, our cat suddenly developed trouble breathing and died as soon as we arrived at the ER vet. I felt terribly guilty.

Now our 5 year old cat is in the hospital with liver trouble (perhaps Fatty Liver Disease). She is not doing well and we have spent a boatload on vet bills. The vet called today with an update and said it was too soon to know if she was going to recover or not and that we should take it day by day.

Oct 18, 2017, 07:35 PM

(((Daisy)))

Oct 18, 2017, 07:35 PM

Today i begin the process of changing back to my maiden name.

precaryous · Oct 18, 2017, 07:48 PM

((Daisy))

StressedMess · Oct 18, 2017, 08:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlessedCheeseMaker

Today i begin the process of changing back to my maiden name.

(((BCM))) I got 'permission' in my divorce decree, but I never did it. It's been my name for all these years, it seems a right pain in the butt to change it back now.

Oct 18, 2017, 08:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StressedMess

(((BCM))) I got 'permission' in my divorce decree, but I never did it. It's been my name for all these years, it seems a right pain in the butt to change it back now.

Over here its just a convention. I did not want to get married but was pressuered into it by my ex family as they thougth our 2 daughters needed a "name" but they have my ex's surname. I resisted my ex MIL for a ffews years but in a manic state I thought getting married might solve everything. My married name is stupid and even my ex said they used to get teased at school for it. I only got married because my ex said that he could change his name but said that he meant he could but he wouldnt.

Oct 18, 2017, 08:26 PM

Possible trigger:

i know H is upset. She was his cat. I’m trying to be respectful of his needs. But I have needs to. He won’t hug me or give any kind of affection. This after a stupid fight this evening that led me to...

Everyone hates me. I’m a horrible person. It’s my fault. I’m all alone. I just want to die.

Oct 18, 2017, 08:37 PM

So I just got home from a most amazing session. 2 weeks ago when I was there last I was so hyper for a couple of reasons and I guess t didn't want a repeat of that haha so she had sage waiting for me on the step so I could smudge myself before I went in, and the light was already off thank goodness. I so prefer the natural late-afternoon light coming in the windows.

Anyway I shared a dream and she drummed for me so I could journey and seek some guidance from within about what the dream meant, and I got some real wisdom about it, we were both like "whoa" after I described my journey. I'm so thankful that she does shamanic work too, I can't imagine doing this therapy work without the shamanic part, it's been so helpful for me even though we don't do it all that often. I laid down on the couch for the first time today, have always sat up even when she's drummed for me in the past, but I just felt like laying down today so I did, and I stayed laying down while we talked about my journey. I liked it, and I think I'm going to do that more often now. I seemed to "think out loud" more easily laying down or something. Shamanic work always makes me thirsty and I had managed to drink the whole pitcher of water by the time I left - I'm so in trouble if she puts something in the water (btw that was a joke, I don't believe it for a second). Then we talked about a couple other dreams, and the new job at work that I just applied for, and I drummed a little bit too and then we did some scheduling and then I had to use her bathroom cuz of drinking all the water (I cornered the toilet paper on the way out haha I always do that to people when I use their bathroom) and then we hugged and I left.

(I hope it's ok I put this here instead of the in session thread. When I talk about drumming/journeying I feel more comfortable here on the couch....)

Oct 18, 2017, 08:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by daisydid

Possible trigger:

i know H is upset. She was his cat. I’m trying to be respectful of his needs. But I have needs to. He won’t hug me or give any kind of affection. This after a stupid fight this evening that led me to...

Everyone hates me. I’m a horrible person. It’s my fault. I’m all alone. I just want to die.

(((Daisy))) I'm going to be practicing my distance Reiki this evening and would be most honored if you'd allow me to send some healing energy your way.