[SorryShaped]

I keep cancelling T appointments so I can go to the gym more. I definitely do need the therapy but the gym is more immediate feeling better. I'm at the gym now, elliptical, then to yoga. I'm in the depressive side of bipolar right now and don't want to go to therapy at all. He makes me cry. Ok ok. I'm crying anyway, even during exercise and savasana. I just get enough sweat going to cover it on the machines but during savasana and daily meditation my body does it anyway sometimes, regardless of my mood. I need better meds but I'm on the last of it all for mood. I've had most of the dangerous reactions to everything and some of them just quit working altogether.
Should I keep cancelling? The expense financially is too much for me. My account will be overdrafted by $200 on the first already. Being on SSI, it means I'm broke before I get paid because of my other bills. I'm going to see if they'll buy my plasma just for gas money today

[stopdog]

I think a lot of people find exercise to be just as useful as therapy. And stressing out about paying the therapy bill cannot be useful to your well being. Sometimes those people reduce fees if you talk to them about it.

[SorryShaped]

Originally Posted by stopdog

I think a lot of people find exercise to be just as useful as therapy. And stressing out about paying the therapy bill cannot be useful to your well being. Sometimes those people reduce fees if you talk to them about it.

I have asked in the past. The only time they ever did anything like that with my copay was when I was mixed mood and ready to attempt and didn't care what happened to me but there was still a tiny spark of wanting to stick around. I drove myself the 25 miles in 14 minutes on a back road in an old, full size SUV with bad brakes. He saw the stress I was under and cancelled it out of the system.

[stopdog]

Is there another therapist or clinic you could try?
But I also think that there are other ways of feeling better besides therapy - and excercise and mindfulness and taking care of one's body are among the other ways. There are studies on the effectiveness of exercise on depression for example.

[Argonautomobile]

It sounds like you've found what works for you, SS. There's no reason to go to therapy if it will only bankrupt you and make you cry. As SD said, there are plenty of other ways to feel better, and I think it's amazing that exercise works so well for you and that you're doing it. That's something I really struggle with.

[SorryShaped]

I am truly one of those "new year, new me people." I started working out for the first time ever in January, got divorced from an emotionally abusive ex in February, and I stick with it. I'll be in my first 5k soon, though walking most of it. I'm hoping my energy level is high for the fun run/walk but it's been very unpredictable lately.
He makes me cry because he makes me deal with my own mess, and forces me to think about it and tells me outright where I'm messing up. I don't want to stop going to him, because I truly need somebody that will forcibly get in my (expletive removed). I'm just not able to, currently because of finances but also I just want to workout. It'll be twice in one day, yoga included.
There's also this very cute lady that works there that I want to try to get to know, whether it ever eventually turns into anything or not isn't a concern. But, she IS soooo cute! Just being around her is like an honor, because she lights up to talk to me too. Someone excited to see me makes me feel great. I know she'll likely be at the second gym today, because she's staff. I am mildly afraid she's an illegal looking for a green card, because she's got very broken English. But knowing her as a friend is good enough for me. I don't think she has any idea how cute she is either. Most people there just walk by her and ignore her. Everyone deserves to be noticed as a person. I'm going to try the audio part of Google Translate app with her

[Wonderfalls]

It seems to me you are using all these things to avoid going to therapy. Unless that's the only time you can go to the gym, then that's not a good excuse. A cute girl about whom you know nothing is also not a good excuse to skip therapy. Money is if that's really the reason.

On the other hand presumably nothing says you have to go to therapy at all; you don't need excuses. It's completely your decision of what's best for you--not ours.

[SorryShaped]

I continue to think I should go to therapy because I want to stay out of the hospital, which I have been told is essential to do.
The lady isn't the reason I skip.
Money certainly is the main problem, but I'm also skipping to avoid thinking about my problems too much. The more I peel the layers back and try to figure each piece out, the more miserable I feel. I don't know how to figure myself out. I always just drank until I was stupid before or waited until I was manic.

[LonesomeTonight]

Originally Posted by SorryShaped

I am truly one of those "new year, new me people." I started working out for the first time ever in January, got divorced from an emotionally abusive ex in February, and I stick with it. I'll be in my first 5k soon, though walking most of it. I'm hoping my energy level is high for the fun run/walk but it's been very unpredictable lately.

Wow, that's really impressive!

He makes me cry because he makes me deal with my own mess, and forces me to think about it and tells me outright where I'm messing up. I don't want to stop going to him, because I truly need somebody that will forcibly get in my (expletive removed). I'm just not able to, currently because of finances but also I just want to workout. It'll be twice in one day, yoga included.

He tells you outright where you're messing up? That sounds a bit judgmental to me. Maybe right now you need a T who is more supportive? Is it possible to find someone less expensive? Are you on Medicaid? (guessing because of SSI) Wondering if it's possible to find someone covered by that. Or someone who offers a sliding scale.

[justbreathe1994]

If I may add my input... I also think excercise can be a really great way to relieve stress and increase mood. However, as someone who has struggled with body image, exercise addiction, and eating issues in the past, I can't help but worry a little if you may be overdoing it. I think anytime we find something that makes us really feel better and finally work, there can be a danger of growing too attached to that one single coping mechanism. I'd just encourage you to keep an eye on that and maybe look for other coping activities in addition to exercise so you don't become too dependent on that one thing.

[SorryShaped]

The t is supportive. But he's right up in my grill which I do need. I could go in and talk to a therapist, but one that's interactive and doesn't let my stuff slide by is what I need. I'm not afraid of him, just sometimes I don't want to think about it all.
Exercise addiction? Really? I find that very unlikely here, which probably means you're onto something. I don't think I have a very addicting personality. I quit smoking by just not doing it. I think I might have been addicted to SI and progressive self-loathing, but I'm doing better not to let it take control all the time

[growlycat]

Maybe a different therapist? Do you need to be in therapy to keep ssi?

[SorryShaped]

I don't have to be in therapy to keep SSI. I am not in Medicaid or I am, they can't make up their minds. I swear I've gotten 6 letters that contradict each other. I'll go to the office tomorrow or Thursday and see what the deal is.

[Salmon77]

Obviously you can do whatever you want, but since you say you should continue therapy, then I think you have to prioritize getting yourself to sessions. Running and yoga are both things you can do by yourself for free.

[SorryShaped]

My gym membership is part of my part b that I pay for. I only wish copays weren't 30 each time and it's still 15 less than last year