[Keyplayer]

Hi Guy`s ,

I saw my T this afternoon , more stuff keeps leaking from my brain .

Anyway towards the end my T said " I have homework for you " I replied in question , homework ? Yes I want you to right an essay about what you like about yourself.

I replied , but I just said my self esteem is lower than low.

My T said that is way I want you to write down all the good things you like about yourself and the good things you do , I said yes I try to help others , but what about you ? My T said you have a week , so think about it and just write it down.

So , now we are gathered on this hallowed ground , OOO sorry wrong letter ,
LOL

As this ever happened to you ?

Later

Keyplayer. 

[stopchewinggum]

I have had social worker T's give homeworker. I don't like that type of therapy for myself. I'll do research and self education. I won't do letters and things like that. It's personal preference. Some clients find this type of homework empowering especially for low self-esteem. I don't. Give it whirl. You might like it!

[captgut]

He gave me homework at the beginning of our "relationships"
1 - Write down my automatic thoughts ("I'm disgusting", "No one loves me", "There is no hope" and so on)
Make them positive ("I'm a good person", "There are people who care" and so on)
2 - "Things you do for yourself"

He said it was the first time in his practice someone took his homework seriously. He said clients usually say "oh I forgot" and so on

One of my favorite homeworks from current t was to rewrite my "story" as a fairy tale. It was wonderful and when I read it out loud to her we were both giggling and laughing. It helped me let go of some stuff.

Thank you for the memory!

Oh, I like that assignment. I can see how that could be helpful.

I’ve only ever been given reading materials. I have a new therapist, so we’ll see.

[lifelesstraveled]

No, T doesn't do this. If I am struggling with dreams she will offer suggestions like "if you feel up to it, try tracking your dreams between now and the next time we meet"; or she will just suggest a book that she thinks might be helpful.

She's never said "ok, here's some homework...". I would hate it if she did that.

[Travelinglady]

I've had a T or two who have given me homework. It can be helpful!

[stopdog]

No and I can't imagine I would do it if they tried.

[DP_2017]

only 2 times.

[Erebos]

Yeah, he constantly goes on about how smart I am and how I need to look up and read this that and the other.

He mainly does this as we don't have alot of time together cos I am always ditching him to do something interesting. Lol.

[alpacalicious]

My previous T was CBT oriented, her first homework was to keep track of my emotions and thoughts (it's a common cbt thing) and also later on she asked me to write down "irrational" thoughts (like I'm no good enough) and to change them with realistic and not negative ones. I don't know if it worked...I think not but it helped me for a while. Also she wanted me to keep a diary of my daily life.

My Ts never game me homework. I don't think I would want to do written assignments - I already think and write more than enough on my own. What I would have liked probably is something that requires practical action - putting myself in a situation that I tend to avoid or not deal with properly, and discussing the outcome in session. I give myself challenges like that quite often but perhaps it would have been useful in making my therapy more focused and task-oriented, because most of my problems are related to actions (wrong or lack of action), and dissecting the feelings around them tend to help little. usually it is much more beneficial backwards: do the things and see how I feel about it, what unexpected fears surface on the go etc. Understanding my motives tend to come pretty easily for me, but it's rarely enough for practical change or improvement.

[Spangle]

Originally Posted by ArtieSwimsOn

One of my favorite homeworks from current t was to rewrite my "story" as a fairy tale. It was wonderful and when I read it out loud to her we were both giggling and laughing. It helped me let go of some stuff.

Thank you for the memory!

Aww, that’s lovely. I might do that. I’d love a ‘happy ever after’ ending to my trauma.

[Swimmersusan]

Yes I get homework regularly, helps to keep me motivated midweek.

[Keyplayer]

Hi Guy`s ,

Thanks for all your kind replies. From some of my past posts you may know I find it not hard writing , however writing about a person whom you are not very happy about seems like a cruel labor , however I will give it a try.

If my T can help me past the bad parts of my life just by writing a self essay , then so be it.

It of course would be easier if I liked myself , but maybe by the time all is said and done I might be able to say "hello you , your not so bad after all " !!!

I am just tired of being tired and tired of being sad.

It helps to come here and help others if I can , not to detract form me , but to do some actual good in the hopes that my words may offer solace in there time of distress.

Take care & thanks again for you replies . ====

KP. 

[LonesomeTonight]

When I first started seeing T1, I was given some homework a couple times related to trying to overcome a particular OCD issue (fear of germs/contamination). One part involved rating all the related fears. And then I had to write a story that included some of the biggest fears. We were supposed to record it, so I could listen to it in an attempt to desensitize myself (part of exposure and response therapy, I think), but something else came up, and we never finished it.

Marriage counselor has given us very occasional homework, but one assignment was to "have a fight," just so we could see that arguing was OK and we could come together in the end. Another time, he told us to go do this adventure course thing and zipline to help us trust each other and bring us closer together. Yeah, that didn't go so well, as it just brought up other fears/phobias. I eventually got through the whole course, but spent some time sobbing in fear when expected to walk across a log that was high up in the air. Never did the zipline part because I was so freaked out after the other stuff. Not sure it necessarily achieved its goal...

[NP_Complete]

When I first started therapy, I was given the homework assignment to write a letter to my husband about how I felt. Of course, it was so my therapist could see what some of the problems in our marriage were. That's the only homework he ever gave to me.

[InnerPeace111]

Yes, my T has given me homework in the past. It’s rare. I take initiative and work hard outside of therapy, though. I do all of my own research, reading, experimenting with healing dIfferent modalities, and sticking with coping strategies that I know work for me. I track and monitor my own progress. Sometimes my T will suggest I try something in particular. I do it. I would never refuse. I modify her suggestions if needed. I take her suggestions with the clear intention of learning something new about myself. It works every time.

[Teddy Bear]

I have homework from my T. I think homework is ok

[LaraR4444]

I had a therapist give me homework, but he never asked me about it again.

[feileacan]

My T has never given me a homework and one of the reason I chose this kind of T (psychoanalytic) was because I knew that there will be none of this homework crap.

This homework business sounds like a teacher-student situation to me and no thanks, I don't need a teacher in disguise of a therapist.

Also, a therapist giving a homework to me sort of implies that he knows what I should do (this particular homework) and I'm completely opposed to that view.

So no thanks, no homework for me and no therapist who would like to give homework either.

[stopchewinggum]

Originally Posted by feileacan

My T has never given me a homework and one of the reason I chose this kind of T (psychoanalytic) was because I knew that there will be none of this homework crap.

This homework business sounds like a teacher-student situation to me and no thanks, I don't need a teacher in disguise of a therapist.

Also, a therapist giving a homework to me sort of implies that he knows what I should do (this particular homework) and I'm completely opposed to that view.

So no thanks, no homework for me and no therapist who would like to give homework either.

I've learned to become very assertive about my own mental health care. If a T asks me to do homework, and it's something that I don't want to do. I will simply tell them the truth. I'm not rude about. I will be honest. This isn't something I would personally helpful, and as such, I would like some other form of treatment in it's place. That simple. I'm not being difficult. I'm being honest and assertive. I find most T's respect that.

[Keyplayer]

Hi Guy`s ,

Well it seems we have mixed replies , and that opens up for a good healthy debate !!

My personal view is this:

As long as I find it does not detract from my day to day writing and posting , answering e-mails. Then it is fine , however if it is a burden and I do find it like a "teacher ~ student" kind of deal , then my T and I would need to have a talk.

In fact I am going to preempt the talk by mentioning to my T that I will do more , but if I find I am not writing on my own , posting , excessively long e-mails , then I will just state the we should move on and find another mode to work with.

I have been a long time writer , and I would not want therapy to impede that in anyway.

Thanks to all whom have posted , I appreciate your views.

Take care , and have a GR8 day

Keyplayer. 

[WarmFuzzySocks]

Originally Posted by stopchewinggum

I've learned to become very assertive about my own mental health care. If a T asks me to do homework, and it's something that I don't want to do. I will simply tell them the truth. I'm not rude about. I will be honest. This isn't something I would personally helpful, and as such, I would like some other form of treatment in it's place. That simple. I'm not being difficult. I'm being honest and assertive. I find most T's respect that.

Yes. When my h and I were attending marriage counseling, t gave us both a suggestion for a workbook that we could do together, and I went home, looked at it and flat out (politely) refused.

It was for the best. I couldn't do that work with him, and I knew it.

[clueda]

My T sometimes asks me to think about something, observe myself or write something down. I guess you could consider that homework. It doesn't bother me at all. And my T has always been very clear about it that if I don't want to do it, can't do it or don't find it helpful then that's absolutely fine.