Your therapists other clients....

I don't think I've ever seen any of his other clients. I only get jealous when I'm waiting in the waiting room, and he's with the previous client (i know because I could hear them through the door) and running over into my time slot. In those situations I think he must like the previous client so much more than me, which is why he's running over with them. He must dread seeing me, etc.

I go through periods of jealously with other clients. I’m the first patient of the day, so I tell myself little lies, like that makes me more special or my therapist thinks of me on the way in. It’s a small office, so it’s awkward leaving and having to walk right past other clients waiting. For the most part I had been dealing with this other patients fine until about a month ago (I’ve been seeing my therapist for about 5 months now). At that time I saw another female in the waiting room, I had previously only ever seen male patients and liked to believe that maybe I was the only female patient my therapist sees. I totally had a flash of jealously over seeing this “other woman,” especially since it came right after a particularly meaningful session. (She was drinking the same flavor La Croix we drink at home, and I told my husband that flavor is tainted now! )

As of today, I’m ok with other patients. I had to spend some time thinking of myself in the grand scheme of things, I get that the man works by himself and needs to make a living, I’ve worked in the business world for a long time. But I still like to believe I work harder than other patients, or that I’m more interesting. Mostly what helps me when I go through these periods of jealously is to remember I’m the most interesting patient for that 60ish minutes (we usually run over a bit), and that the relationship I’ve built with my therapist is unique to us and no one can impede on that.

I see plenty of the other clients, but really don't think about it or care. Which isn't to say I don't feel needy or attached. I just don't worry about anyone there but myself.

I wasn't attacking anyone.

If you re read what I put, I used the word probably. And since I'm human, I am very open to the fact my assessment could be faulty.

For someone to make a statement like that it, it shows to me, a lack of understanding of how someone could feel shame and defective seeing their therapists clients.

Though we may never feel a certain way ourselves, we can at least take a moment to step out of our own shoes and to try to understand someone else's feelings and perspective.

Then I'm surprised you initially responded the way you did.

Attacking me back is not going to help though (if that is what you are doing?).
I'm sorry that you feel offence but there was really none given.

You are mis quoting me.

I said probably.

Of course, I could be wrong. I was giving my thoughts on what the person had said.

I found it surprising that someone could not see how someone with shame issues could be triggered in this way. There are alot of things I don't feel but I can understand how someone else could feel that way.

I also never said that anyone's lack of concern of their therapists clients made them not be able to understand shame.

Again my words are not being read correctly.

The inability to not be able to understand why someone else would feel shamed was my whole point.

[QUOTE=MrsDuckL;5876039]I go through periods of jealously with other clients. I’m the first patient of the day, so I tell myself little lies, like that makes me more special or my therapist thinks of me on the way in.

I used to do the same. I had the last appointment of the day and I told myself that this made me special to my T, he would think of me on the way home, he finished with the others first so that he could get to me ... things like that.

I also have gone through times of feeling jealous of other clients or wanting to be more special than them, and also times when I ran into other clients and it made me feel inferior. But I think I'm fine with it now.

My last (NHS) therapist would sometimes briefly talk about her other clients in a general way, and imply that her techniques and suggestions really helped them. She'd do that more when she realised that nothing was working for me. It just made me feel even more defective and useless.

The therapy centre was a huge converted warehouse, and you entered a large room with about twelve rows of seats facing double glass doors. The therapists would come through these doors and shout out your name, which I thought was a little intimidating because it was so indiscreet. Walking back through those doors when your therapy session ended was worse though, because you were confronted with a sea of faces all looking at you! There should have been another way out.

My therapist spaces out clients so there is almost never any interaction between them. I have seen some a few times, though, and I couldn't care less.

I had horrendous jealousy and emotional reactions whenever encountering (S's) my ex therapist's teenage and young adult female clients. I didn't have reactions to couples, older women, children, or any male client of any age.

I rarely ran into my other ex-T's (J) clients, but when I did, they were always teen boys. No feelings.

I have never run into C (my current T)'s clients. If I did, I don't know how I'd feel. I don't really think about them. I tend to forget about their existence entirely. It is very obvious to me that C is invested in me, not as a number, but as a person. And, he has made very clear in words AND actions that our relationship involves his genuine feelings and emotions as well..and that he is committed to and cares about me. So, I guess I feel less threatened by the existence of other clients.

Generally I don't see my T's other clients. I'm her last appointment of the day. And she has a door that exits right to the outside so that's pretty much how her clients all exit. It doesn't bother me to think about or see her other appointments though. She does her best to keep clients from seeing each other.

She fulfills my needs within the therapeutic environment. I can see being jealous or having other strong emotions if I wasn't able to hug her, or if I felt like she was being preferential to other clients though.

I am usually the last client, and my t must try to space appointments because I only occasionally see someone leaving before me, or waiting when I leave. Never the same person.

It doesn't bother me to see them or for them to see me. I am glad other people are getting help, support, whatever they're there for. Actually, I am a little curious about them because I am curious about people in general, but even then I really think it's none of my business.

I can totally understand being jealous of other clients - I don't feel jealous, but I do have some little part of me that is threatened by other clients. It's more that to me they feel like frightening invaders and a threat to both my therapist and myself. This is related to some of my earliest childhood trauma, so I don't beat myself up about it.

I'm not jealous of my T's clients or anything. I do worry, sometimes, that she has clients who I know. I see my T at a university clinic, and the clinic doesn't have very many therapists. A lot of my friends are in therapy. I don't know who they see. What if it's my T? What if when I talk about my friends, my T actually knows who I'm talking about?
To her credit, of course, my T has never ever let on that she sees anyone I know. I just know it's a possibility.

That sounds like the absolute worst possible way to design a therapy waiting room. For maximum discomfort!

That's how hospital outpatient clinics are like in older hospitals in my country. Wooden doors with a little window each open up to a waiting room with rows of chairs. Display with queue number and the room you're supposed to go to nearby. So everyone sees which room you go into (they chime you in and the display flashes with the buzzer sound) and which room you exit.

The modern ones are similar but the waiting room door is large sliding glass doors opening into long corridors with the wooden doors with windows branching off the corridor. Same thing with the display and being buzzed in.